The Daily Bugle Critiques Spider-Man’s Costume Changes

 

 

Today at ComicsAlliance, I’ve written up what is, narratively speaking, the most complicated article I’ve ever written. Of course, considering that the usual narrative structure is just me making fun of something, that’s not saying a whole lot, but trust me, this one has layers.

The topic is a rundown of Spider-Man’s costume changes over the years based off today’s release of his new Spider-Armor, and let’s be honest: That’s been done. So in order to keep myself (and, as a secondary concern, you) from being bored to death, I decided to take a different tactic with it. So now, please enjoy six excerpts from the Daily Bugle‘s fashion column, in which a mysterious author known only as “Mr. J” rips on Spidey’ suit at every opportunity. It’s meta, yo.

Chris Piers Responds To My Editorial Style

For those of you wondering what it’s like to work for the Action Age of Comics, Woman of ACTION‘s Chris Piers has the answer:

 

 

On a related note, I have yet to decide whether Piers should be classified as Threat or Menace.

In either case, why not head over to the Action Age today for some of Piers’s other work–specifically, some concept and design sketches for our upcoming pop-spy adventure comic, Woman of ACTION! Just click the image above and you’ll see girls, guns, and quite possibly the sweetest turtleneck sweater in comic book history!

Who says this isn’t the Action Age of Comics?!

Christmas Special: Season’s Greetings from J. Jonah Jameson!

All the staff at the Bugle liked Christmas a lot,
But Jonah, who signed all their paychecks, did not.

JJJ hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season,
And not even Robbie really quite knew the reason!

Perhaps it was just the cigars that he smokes?
Or maybe he’s really the meanest of blokes!

But no matter why, children, for as we’ll all soon see,
It’s in ruining Christmas where Jonah finds glee!

It starts at the party–much like most office crises–
With a group of lost children, fresh in from the ices!

Poor Miss Brant was elected as their de facto sitter,
Then a mention of Spidey set the kids all a-twitter!

“Kids?! In MY office?!” Jonah said with a growl,
“I’ll stop them from loving that menace… but.. how?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…And that’s what made this Jonah’s best Christmas ever.

 

For the scenes shown above (and lots more Yuletide fun), you should check out Spider-Man’s Tangled Web twenty-one! As you can all see, it’s a heck of a book, by the team of J. Bone and–of course!–Darwyn Cooke!

Slow News Day

Your Spidey Super Stories Moment of Joy for this week:

 

 

More on J. Jonah Jameson’s dubious journalistic integrity can be found in Spidey Super Stories #56, wherein Mary Jane dresses up like Spider-Woman and the Green Goblin steals everyone’s candy.