I Say Thee Play: Chris Reviews Thor Video Games

 

 

Oh man, you guys. As if reading comics for a living wasn’t bad enough, this week I also had to sit around and play a bunch of video games! It’s a living, right?

The end result: I review the new Thor video games that tie into the new movie, both for XBox 360 and for Nintendo DS! One of them, I really really liked, and the other, I really really hated. But feel free to buy both, so long as you use those links.

Bio Force Ape

 

 

Last weekend, one of the lost classics of the NES era, SETA’s unreleased Bio Force Ape, was finally found and uploaded to the Internet so that its utter insanity could be preserved for future generations. This is a monumental occasion, so of course I played and reviewed the story of a mutated monkey out to get revenge by suplexing bee-people over at ComicsAlliance. Believe it or not, it’s even crazier than it sounds.

The 10 Most Disturbing Pokedex Entries of All Time

 

 

For the past week, I’ve been neck deep in Pokemon Black trying to catch ’em all, which means I have read a lot of Pokedex entries. And some of them are downright weird. Weirder than usual, I mean.

That’s why today, I’ve gone through the Pokedex to bring you the Ten Most Disturbing Pokemon Of All Time, based solely on their official descriptions (with one bonus bit of fan theory pictured above). These are the creepy and weird ones, and as I ended up going through a ton of Pokedex entries to find the best ten, there were a lot I discarded. There’s Charmander of course, who dies if the flame on its tail goes out, Metapod, which is said to “endure hardships” while immobilized in its hardened cocoon, and Houndoom, which has the charming description “if it burns you, the pain will never go away.”

And those didn’t make the cut.

Fox News Calls Bulletstorm “The Worst Video Game In The World,” Everyone Else Rolls Their Eyes

 

 

Today at ComicsAlliance, I’ve written up a short piece on the completely manufactured controversy over Bulletstorm, the upcoming game scripted by Rick Remender.

That’s right, everybody: Major news outlets are still running stories blaming video games for The Problems Of America’s Youth™, and — if I may be allowed to borrow a phrase from Paul F. Tompkins — the current year starts with a two. Honestly, it’s enough to make me buy a copy out of spite, even though I’ve got the ol’ FPS motion sickness. Enjoy!

Ask Chris #37: Best Christmas Present Ever

 

 

I have written some self-indulgent columns in my time, but I think this week’s might just take the cake, as I write about my favorite (tangentially) comics-related Christmas present ever!

Here’s a hint:

 

 

Okay, okay, so maybe that’s less of a hint and more of me telling you exactly what it is, but c’mon. I spent seconds last night making that .gif. I had to use it somewhere!

Marvel Brothel Takes All The Fun Out of Pimping

 

 

If you’ve been reading ComicsAlliance for a while, then you may have tumbled to the fact that CA Editor-in-Chief Laura Hudson occasionally makes me experience something terrible. First it was the Marmaduke movie, then it was Jonah Hex, and now, it’s Marvel Brothel, the game where Professor X pimps out the ladies of the X-Men to further Mutant Rights.

Formerly offered as a free download, it’s been pulled down due to what I can only assume were incredibly obvious reasons, but not before ComicsAlliance grabbed a copy and sat me down in front of it to see how good I was at managing the super-powered Ladies of the Night.

Despite the salacious content, the game itself is actually pretty boring, though as you’ll see, it does bring more than its fair share of bat-shit insanity to the table. So enjoy, as I play through it so that you don’t have to!