Suddenly — A CONTEST!

My relationship with the ISB’s cretinous readership has always been… well, I guess the polite term for it would be “adversarial,” but I try not to miss an opportunity to throw something back to you guys when I get a chance. That’s why tonight, I’m announcing a Special Contest!

 

 

A couple of weeks ago, the fine people at NerdyShirts asked if I wanted to host a giveaway, so here we are! So what do you have to do?

Simple: Just draw a picture of your favorite Action Age Comics character! You can go with one of mine (Solomon Stone, Minxy Flatbush, Ming Xi, Dorian DeWolfe, Killtron 3030, Exterminape, Penny Devlin and so on), one of Chad’s (Monster Plus, Danger Ace, Jon “Impossible” Raymond, and all the rest), or even one of the radical specialists of Awesome Hospital!

Just post your drawing on your website, blog, Flickr account, or Twitpic (or what have you) and leave a comment pointing at it in this post, but make sure to fill out the email address field of your comment so that I can contact you.

And if you’re not a great artist, don’t sweat it: The pictures don’t have to be great, so feel free to bust out the crayons or MSPaint, just as long as you put a little effort into it.

I’ll be picking an entry at random on Friday at 8 PM Eastern. The winner gets his or her choice of NerdyShirts… well, shirt, and that’s about all there is to it! So pick a drawing and get to it!

Awesomeversary Special: The 30 Second Recap Contest 2008!

You know, it’s funny: I’m so used to the daily posting schedule–wherein most of the comments on a given post happen within twelve hours of me putting it up and going to bed–that every time I do one of these, I end up panicking when I wake up the next morning and only see a couple of entries from the super-industrious among you.

But like always, as the week went on, the entries kept coming. And like always, they were fantastic, and I’m glad that so many of you took the time and effort to make a few jokes and celebrate four freakin’ years of the ISB.

So without further ado, here’s this year’s entrants!

 

 

Krod got in early with a one-panel summary of pretty much everyone’s reaction to Frank Miller’s The Spirit.

Will Wise gets this year’s Astley Award for including the line “Ahh! Internet Memes!” in his version of DC’s World War III.

Ephraim gives us the creepiest opening line of the contest with Terror of Trigon. Seriously.

notintheface combines cowboys, spacemen and the inimitable Cary Bates to bring us The Origin of Terra-Man.

Brian Smith, whose great entries have set the standard for the rest of the contest three years running, chronicles a year in his life that was devoted to The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe!

googum lets us know that Wolverine loves the Awesome Blossom–and who wouldn’t? It’s awesome!–and cites Micronauts #37 as the source!

Erich‘s entry detailing the events of Death of the New Gods was the only one that included the angry corpse of Jack Kirby. I expect better from the rest of you next year.

Canton does it up Cary Bates style with a reasonably faithful recap of True Believers, with bonus LOLCats!

Chris Heimpel creates a child’s garden of delights–and a morbidly obese Scorpion–out of the trainwreck that was DC/Marvel: All Access. And to be honest, J’eann G’rey, the Phoenician Manhurter cracked me up.

Jason gives us a world where the Tenth Doctor is played by John Hodgman in 2008: The Year In Review.

Doktor Puppykicker–of International Society of Supervillains fame–trims the fat (and masonic geometry) from the phone book that is From Hell.

Zak read Comet Man so you don’t have to. Not that you would’ve anyway. Just sayin’.

Doc gives us a very different look back at 2008 while displaying a grasp of anatomy that is scurrilous at best.

darksideofcomics and Peter Svensson, despite not being thrilled with the prizes, offer up their version of Batman: RIP.

Elliot Campos includes scary accurate portraits of me, Dave Campbell and Kevin Church, despite the fact that our scenes were sadly cut out of the final version of Y – The Last Man!

Jake gives us a version of The Dark Knight Returns that everyone can enjoy! Except Alfred, who died.

Brian Hughes included a picture of Nick Fury that made me… confused in his recap of New Avengers and Mighty Avengers.

DarKye tries to outdo me by relating the actual events of Secret Invasion in the manga style that the kids are so into these days.

Robert Mar gives us another Year In Review that ties it all together and features a surprise twist at the end!

Michael Noonan does one of my favorites: Marvel Two-In-One #99, guest-starring ROM: Spaceknight!

Adler goes the extra mile by condensing sixty issues of Transmetropolitan in one panel!

Philip Oldham does a bang-up job hitting the highlights of Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes!

Guayec was no doubt hobbling down to the pub and writing on his Treo during the creation of the condensed Black Summer!

 

An excellent crop and some great work this year, but before we get to the winner, I’d like to single out a few of my favorites:

 

 

Marc Haines gives us Identity Crisis, complete with lovingly detailed fishnet stockings that may or may not have contributed to my enjoyment!

Fan-favorite Das √úbernerd, who first won hearts with last year’s History of the DC Universe, gives us the best adaptation of Watchmen to be released this year. Yeah, I said it.

PJ Perez focuses on Tony Stark’s truly magnificent head of hair while recapping the totally rad saga of Armor Wars II!

The drawings alone in Carrie D’s version of The Ultimates 1 and 2 just crack me up, and that’s before I even got to the footnote.

Michelle almost won for the guest stars in the courtroom scene alone in her version of Batman vs. Lord Death Man, from Bat-Manga!

And finally, former champ Tim Curtin brings his A-Game yet again in his version of Will Eisner’s The Spirit. Seriously, page two is a masterpiece… well, as far as crayon-based recaps are concerned anyway.

 

Each one was a fantastic entry that would’ve made a worthy winner, but as we all learned from a surly, pimp hat-wearing Sean Connery, There a few problems that cannot be solved by an art-directed swordfight in a loft set to the glorious sounds of Queen. And also, there can be only one, which this year is…

 

 

 

Steve and his hilarious recap of Kraven’s Last Hunt!

Congratulations, Steve! You’ve just won a prize package consisting of all kinds of crazy crap, including a signed copy of Teenagers from the Future, a GI Joe 25th Anniversary Cobra Commander, a drawing of the character of your choice by me (which, from the looks of things, will be far inferior to anything you could draw yourself), and whatever else I can round up before I make it to the post office!

 

Once again, I want to thank everybody who participated for making the Recap Contest a success for the third year in a row, and–perhaps most importantly–for generating content while I took the week off. Thanks for capping off Year Four with a bang folks… now get ready for Year Five!

The 2008 30 Second Recap Contest!

Well, it’s the end of December, and as is my custom around this time, I’m taking the next few days off so that I can get tore up from the floor up without having to make a joke about ROM properly ring in the New Year! I’ll be back on January 6 to celebrate the ISB’s fourth Awesomeversary–jeez, have I seriously been at this for four years?–but until then, you’re on your own.

Never let it be said, however, that I took off without offering a little something in return, and while there’s plenty of fun to be had at the Action Age if you haven’t been there already–with more stuff coming soon… like, tomorrow soon–it’s also time for the traditional year-end 30 Second Recap Contest!

Here’s how it works: Pick a comic story and do a condensed version in the style of the 30 Second Recap posts I’ve done for stuff like Infinite Crisis, Civil War, Secret Invasion, and of course, Bring It On! Then just post it on your own blog, website, Flickr account LiveJournal or whatever and leave a comment on this post telling folks how to find it, or email it to me if you don’t have one of those fine, free services. Just make sure you get it to me by Midnight Eastern time, January 5 (Sunday night/Monday morning) so that I can read over them on Monday and pick the one I like the most for the return on the sixth.

The winner will get a “Fabulous” Prize Package consisting of stuff that I have laying around here, including a signed (by me) copy of Teenagers from the Future, a terrible drawing of a character of your choice (also by me), and other random delights that I haven’t quite settled on. Rest assured, though: There’ll probably be a Cobra Commander involved.

And now…

THE RULES

1. Artwise, your entry doesn’t have to look good, because lord knows mine don’t. It won’t hurt if it looks nice, but shoddy art is both accepted and encouraged. Along the same lines, you don’t necessarily have to use crayons (MS Paint has a similar effect), but you have to draw your entry yourself.

2. For lettering, you can do it by hand if you can write legibly, but feel free to head over to Blambot and use one of their free comic book lettering fonts! As always the use of Comic Sans will result in an immediate disqualification.

3. Content is up to you: Despite me calling it the year-end recap contest, your subject does not have to be a story from this year. The only restriction is that it can’t be a story that hasn’t finished yet. By the nature of the contest, spoilers are par for the course, so if you’re planning on spectating this year, take that into account. Otherwise, go nuts. Heck, you can even go after a 22 year-old classic of comics literature if you want!

 

 

4. The key factor here is brevity, so entires should be no longer than ten panels. I’m not going to throw out something that has eleven or twelve if it’s funny and well-done, but try to keep it short.

5. If you post your entry somewhere, make sure that there’s some way for me to contact you if you win.

And that’s it! If you’re looking for more inspiration, check out the previous contests, 2007 and 2006, and I’ll see you in 2009!

The Batchuk Contest: And The Winner Is…

Last Sunday, I asked the readers of the ISB to take their shots at drawing Batman using unconventional nunchuks, and I’ve gotta say: You guys really came through on this one, and I can honestly say that there wasn’t a single entry that didn’t make me laugh.

So let’s see what Batman’s pulling out to fight crime tonight!

 

The very first entry from NickT set the standard that everyone else had to live up to:

 

Nunchuks Made of Batman’s Dead Parents

 

Hey, thedarkbackward draws a lot like Matt Wagner! Somebody get this guy a miniseries!

 

Nunchuks Made of Frankenstein’s Monster

 

Pj Perez brought us the first in a sub-genre that can only be called “Sidechuks.”

 

Nunchuks Made of Robins

 

The rain on Chris’s chest is a salt-water baptism…

 

Nunchuks Made of Sharks… IN THE FUTURE

 

Kilmoonie knows that the most devastating weapon is brutal Internet handsomeness.

 

Nunchuks Made of Chris Sims

 

Jamie goes the extra mile to bring us…

 

Nunchuks Made of the Punisher

 

I knew there was a reason they called Just Some Guy “Mr. Action!”

 

Nunchuks Made of Jimmy Olsen
(Check here for a full explanation and a larger version)

 

Falcon7 goes back to Gotham by Gaslight to bring us this beautiful bit of destruction:

 

Nunchuks Made of 19th Century Street Urchins

 

Earlofthercs crafted a sigil to tap into the collective unconscious of the fictionverse, but when that didn’t work out, he drew this:

 

Nunchuks Made of Grant Morrison

 

The 52 worlds of the DC Universe are as a child’s plaything to Dave!

 

Nunchuks Made of Batmen

 

Psychofish knows that the quickest way to a man’s heart is through Jim Aparo.

 

Nunchuks Made of Mjolnir and Stormbreaker

 

Brian Smith gives us something that I can only describe as “inexplicable and hilarious.”

 

Nunchuks Made of That “Cliff Hangers” Guy From The Price Is Right
(AKA Yodelchuks)

 

Bryan Boles has next summer’s zombie-themed event comic RIGHT HERE!

 

Nunchuks Made of Brian Michael Bendis an Robert Kirkman

 

Tim C did a sequential piece that is just… Just… I mean freakin’ look at it!

 

Nunchuks Made of Monkeys That Are On Fire

 

Jacob Z. Clinton‘s entry is probably the most metal thing I’ve seen today. And I saw Slayer fight Manowar with broadswords.

 

Nunchuks Made of Narwhals Who Are Immune To The Omega Effect

 

It’s like andrewg2442 reached into my head and pulled out my most wonderful dream.

 

Nunchuks Made of Bears With Chainsaws

 

Mitch presents a martial art 65 million years in the making.

 

Nunchuks Made of Tyrannosaurus Rexes, One of Which Appears To Be In a Gang (or Breakdance Crew)

 

Ninjaink can smell their fear… and it is sweet.

 

Nunchuks Made of Chainsaws

 

DouglasG is all about keeping things in scale.

 

Nunchuks Made of Godzilla and Mechagodzilla

 

Sean Whitmore‘s entry isn’t really nunchuks, but come on: we’re not really dealing with the standard definition at this point.

 

Nunchuks Made of Batman’s Own Dislocated Arms

 

Heimdall deserves his own case in the Batcave.

 

Nunchuks Made of Sidekicks

 

Schujo has two words for you: “Ka” and “boom.”

 

Nunchuks made of Dynamite

 

And now, a few that I got via email:

Moises Tavera created a strange world in which The Dark Knight was even more awesome than it was:

 

Nunchuks Made of Movie-Sharks

 

Friend of the ISB Richelle Mead has a fun activity that you can do at home!

 

Nunchuks Made of Smash-Hit Urban Fantasy Novels

 

Paul Milne is now on my Christmas Card list forever.

 

Nunchuks Made of MODOK and MODAM

 

Michael Noonan sent me what is unquestionably the strangest entry I’ve ever gotten:

 


(Click for full-size)

Nunchuks Made of Chris Sims That Are Used To Defeat Tarot, Orca the Whale Woman, the Joker and Dave’s Long Box While Herbie and Rachelle Goguen Look On

 

Caleb Mozzocco gives us a triptych of awesome:

 


(Click for full-size)

Nunchuks Made of The Punisher, Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter: Guilty Pleasures, and Batman

 

And finally…

Philip Oldham is In It To Win It!

 

Nunchuks Made of Missy and Torrance, The Rancho Carne Toros Cheerleaders From Bring It On

 

I don’t think I’m exaggerating here when I say that with entries like that, this is quite possibly the greatest contest in the history of contests, and considering that I got somebody to draw Batman using nunchuks made of MODOKs who also have their own nunchuks, I think I could retire from this whole internet thing tomorrow and be perfectly happy with that. Everyone who contributed was absolutely fantastic. You’ve made the world more awesome, and you should all be proud.

But, this is a contest, and that means that there can be only one winner, and that (dubious) honor can only go to one entry.

Because when you get right down to it, this entire thing was based on Batman using nunchuks made of sharks, and there’s only one thing that could possibly beat those:

 

NUNCHUKS MADE OF ANTI-SHARK REPELLENT BAT-SPRAY
by CornFedCannibal

 

Congratulations, CFC! You’ve won yourself an autographed copy of Teenagers From the Future, featuring an all new essay by me on the inherent teenage cruelty of the Legion Constitution, a copy of Batman Chronicles v.1, wherein Golden Age Batman hits people with other people a lot, and whatever else I happen to scrounge up before it’s time to mail out the prize.

Thanks, everybody! And really… No OMACHUKS?

 

Note: I’ve been through my email and the comments of the original post twice each, but if I happened to miss anybody, please shoot me an email to let me know.

Nunchucks? More Like FUN-chucks!

As regular ISB readers already know from seeing Kate Holden’s brilliant artistic interpretation of them last week, my post on Batman’s nunchucks made of sharks has inspired greatness.

What you might not know unless you’ve been going through the comments, however, is that Kate’s drawing itself inspired even more people to take up the pencil. In the few days since I posted her piece, I’ve gotten two more from ISB readers, including Ley Howell‘s shot at refining the Bat-Chuks for swampy adventures with reptilian deadliness…

 

 

… and Andrew Bates’ Aparo-inspired throwback to the greatest page of all time…

 

 

…and I gotta admit: I want to see more. So you know what that means.

That’s right folks, it’s the End-Of-Summer Spectacular you’ve been waiting for with another ISB Contest! Because really, I haven’t given anything away since Bring It On Week, and that seems like a cheerlifetime ago.

The rules, as always, are simple: Just get out your pencils, pens, crayons, MSPaint or other artistic media and draw a picture of Batman using nunchucks that are made out of something from which nunchucks are not normally made, then send it to me at the address in the sidebar or link to it in the comments section below by 11:59 PM Eastern Time, Friday, September 19, 2008. I’ll pick and announce the winner on Saturday based on radness, and then mail the lucky artist a Fabulous Prize Package consisting of:

One (1) copy of Teenagers From The Future, signed by me, and…

Some (some) other crap that I’ve got laying around that I think would make good prizes.

And that’s pretty much it. Now get to making some user-generated free content awesome entries!

(NOTE: Sometimes, comments with links in them–especially ones with multiple links–get flagged by WordPress as spam, but I’m checking the Spam Queue every now and then to make sure I don’t miss any. If yours doesn’t show up and you desperately need it to, just shoot me an email about it.)

Bring It On Week: The Finale

And so, our seven-day cheerebration of the Bring It On franchise comes to a close, and while I hope that you’ve taken this opportunity to learn the lessons these films can teach us:

That you have to believe in yourself, even when your squad doesn’t.

That being fair is better than being the best, even in the world of cheerleading.

That cheerleaders of all races, whether they’re Rancho Carne Toros, East Compton High Clovers, Pacific Vista Pirates, Crenshaw Heights Warriors, or even West Coast Sharks and East Coast Jets, are endowed with equal spirit. Or in other words, that Vanilla Latte does indeed have skillz.

That the perpetrators of Cheerleader Ninjas are evil, evil men.

And of course, that Cheer Crips can’t be hittin’ it with no Cheer Bloods.*

All great lessons, and a tribute to the day-to-day usefulness that a careful study of the Tetralogy. But if there’s only one thing that you take away from this cheerstravaganza, I’d like it to be this:

 

SHE’S

 

 

STILL

 

 

BIG

 

 

RED!

 

Happy Bring It On Week, Everybody!

 


 

THE BRING-IT-ONTEST: THE WINNER!

 

Considering that Bring It On Week was originally conceived as an exercise in alienating my readers, I never expected to get so many entries in this week’s contest. What I definitely didn’t expect, though, was for so many of them to actually be really funny.

Also, I never expected someone to reference Ninja III: The Domination. Nice.

But alas, I’ve only got one spare copy of Bring It On laying around, and sadly, I could only narrow it down to one winner. So without further ado, your winner in the first annual Torrance Shipman Memorial Name-That-Sequel Contest goes to…

 

Ted Belmont, for Doctor Cheerlove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Bring It On!

 

Congratulations, Ted! You’ve won yourself a copy of the Bring It On widescreen collector’s edition DVD! Vaya con cheeros, senor.

As for the rest of you, thanks for participating, and hey! Why not buy your own copy and just tell people you won? Not like they’re gonna fact-check the origins of your Bring It On DVD or anything.

Unless, of course, you live in a totalitarian Cheertatorship.

 


 

TONIGHT’S BRING IT ON WEEK CHEERFILIATES:

 

Bring It On Week might be over, but the spirit lives on in the hearts of the ISB’s Cheerfiliates, who are the foundation upon which my pyramid is built.

Tonight, Dave Lartigue gets into the swing of things by weaving the eldritch strands of Legomancy!

And of course, Cheerfiliate Squad Captain Bully comes through once again to rebut those who still think that cheerleading doesn’t make for a good time with an endorsement from none other than Sir Pelham Granville Wodehouse himself. No, really.

Thanks, guys! You’ve got spirit, yes you do!

 

*: Actual quote. Seriously, Bring It On: In It To Win It is amazing.

Bring It On Week: The Contest! (Or: The Bring-It-Ontest!)

Bring It On Week continues! And while I did my best to catch the poor unfortunates among you up to speed with my thirty-second recap of the original Bring It On last night, I realize that–especially in matters of bikini carwash scenes–there’s really no substitute for the original.

And that’s where tonight’s event–the cent-cheer-piece of Bring It On week, if you will–comes in!

At this point, it should come as no surprise that I own a copy of Bring It On. In fact, along with stuff like The Big Lebowski, Caddyshack, and of course, the infinitely awesome Josie and the Pussycats, it’s one of the DVDs that I keep in the rotation for background noise whenever I’m up late writing.

However, ever since the release of Bring It On IV: In It To Win It (or Bring It On: Hit It And Quit It, as Chad calls it) prompted me to pick up the complete Cheerbook Collection, I’ve had two copies of the original laying around. And since that’s an honor that I only reserve for one film–that being Sonny Chiba’s The Street Fighter–I’m offering it up to one lucky ISB reader!

The rules? Simple: Just bop on over to this post by full-time cheerfiliate Dr. K, read up on the titles we’ve come up with for the next Bring It On sequel, then come back here and leave a comment with your own suggestion. If I pick yours, you get a free movie, a copy of the ISB 2007 Convention Special with a terrible drawing of your favorite character, and whatever else I have laying around when it comes time to mail stuff.

But here’s the catch: You’ve only got one shot, and you’ve gotta beat me and Dr. K at a game we have played for hours on end. And to be honest, we’re tough to beat, especially given that we’ve already covered both Scream, Bring It On, Scream and I’ll Kill You, I’ll Bury You, and I’ll Bring It On, Too!, which, considering In It To Win It‘s now famous Chainsaw Scene

 

 

…are an oddly appropriate pair.

Now get cheerin’!

Note: Keep ‘em comin, but please, one per customer. I’ll decide on Saturday who gets the prize.

 


 

TONIGHT’S BRING IT ON WEEK CHEERFILIATES:

 

The comics-reading intelligentsia joins the groundswell of support for Bring It On Week!

First up, Tangognat combines the fun of cheerleading with the fun of science… Library Science! It’s, uh, a lot more interesting than I’m making it sound. Be sure to check out the entry on Radical Cheerleading, wherein enterprising young women stick it to The Man with the power of perkiness. Remember, folks: The Cheervolution Will Not Be Televised.

Next, Bitterandrew’s Armagideon Time gets in on the action as only the Official Maestro of the ISB could, by examining two songs used in the movie that you won’t find on the OST in his standard, incredibly cheertriguing style.

And finally, Phil gets in on the action by explaining just how someone can see Bring It On in the theater three times… “by accident.” Sure, Phil. Sure.

 

TOMORROW ON THE ISB:
Bring It On Week Soars to Dizzying New Heights
And Terrifying New Lows
As we bring you the Movie Review You NEVER Expected!

Do You DARE Anger The Cheer Gods By Missing It?!