Just in case any of you have ever doubted my commitment to the ISB, I’d like to point out that while the first Herbie Archive came out today, I am not currently reading it. Instead, I am spending my evening guiding you through the part of the Previews catalog that includes things like this:

Never doubt that I love you all.

Of course, Ken Lowery claims that my love comes from a passive-aggressive sense of guilt and entitlement, but what the hell does he know? All that matters right now is that we’ve got this month’s Indy Press and Merchandise sections to get through!

Comics

P. 201 – Archie Americana Series v.9: Best of the ’90s: “So this’ll be, what, twelve pages long?”

This joke sent in by young Dorian Wright of Ventura, CA! Thanks, Dorian!

P. 203 – Pals-n-Gals Double Digest #126: Okay, look: The “Realistic Style”–which, when you get right down to it, is no more realistic than the DeCarlo/Scarpelli style, it just has more lines–for the Archie books has got to stop. When it was just the Betty & Veronica story, it was fine; if nothing else, it at least broke up the monotony a little bit, but the charm started to wear off once we got into the saga of Jughead and the unfortunately named Sandy Sanchez.

Now, though, there’s an even bigger problem as they shift it over to a story about Moose and Midge, because when you try to translate the goofy, dumb expressions that come across so easily in the classic style, you end up with something like this:

And really, I’m trying to be delicate here, but I’m pretty sure the image we’ve got is not the one they intended.

P. 233 – The Corps #0: This might just be really funny to me and Chad, but does anybody else think it’s hilarious that when Devil’s Due lost the license to GI Joe, they picked up the rights to the other 3.75″ military figure knockoffs that you can find warming pegs at your local Wal-Mart?

Seriously, that takes enough pure moxie that I want to read this thing just to see if the Corps is going to be duking it out with Serpent Sergeant and his weapons suppliers, Wreckto and the Duchess!

P. 264 – Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files: Storm Front #1: Unlike the second Anita Blake series, which I’m facing down with the resolve of a man who knows he’s got a dirty job that somebody’s gotta do, I’m actually–and bear with me because this is a new and unfamiliar feeling–looking forward to this one, having throughly enjoyed both the first Dresden comic and the novel on which the new one’s based quite a bit.

One thing I’m curious about, though: Butcher’s listed as the sole writer of “Welcome to the Jungle”–which was another reason I was surprised at how well that series was paced–but with this issue, he’s got a cowriter in Mark Powers, who may or may not be the same guy who wrote “World War III” in GI Joe: America’s Elite. I think it’s safe to assume that Powers is probably handling the adaptation, but I wonder how involved Butcher’s going to be on this one. If only there was someone at Dabel Brothers who could answer my questions!

P. 275 – DMP’s Monthly Yaoiganza: And while we’re on the subject of things that are funny only to me, I caught this one when I was flipping through the Yaoi solicitations the other day…

…and then could not stop reading the title to the tune of Snoop Dogg’s Sexual Eruption, which made it even more hilarious than it already is.

P. 315 – Labor Days v.1: This is descibed in the solicitation as being for people who like The Big Lebowski, with art by a storyboard artist on The Venture Brothers.

Oh, Oni Press. You do know how to sell me comics.

P. 342 – Street Fighter II Turbo #1: Considering that they’re based almost entirely around people kicking each other in the face and shooting fireballs made of pure willpower out of their hands, it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to anybody that I actually do enjoy Ken Siu-Chong’s Street Fighter comics, and I’ll confess that I’m pretty excited about the fact that Udon has decided to take a cue from the game and title their third SF series Street Fighter II Turbo. I can only hope this means that we’ll eventually get stuff like Street Fighter v.7: Street Fighter II EX Plus Alpha, followed by Street Fighter v.8: Street Fighter 3.

Books

P. 388 – Bat-Manga!: Holy shit, you guys!

If October rolls around and they find me with my head blown off, dead of sheer lunatic awesome, this would be why.

Merch

P. 486 – Rachelle Fine Art Bust: Okay, it’s nice and all, but…

…it doesn’t really look a whole lot like Rachelle, does it?

SPECIAL BONUS HILARITY FROM THE SOLICITATION: “While many of the Yamashita creations are tagged with the “CUTE & EROTIC” phrase, but RACHELLE is best described as “SIMPLE & INNOCENT.”

And on that bit of Comics Blogger Internet in-jokery, I think it’s time to call it a night. As always, feel free to discuss anything that caught your eye in the comments section below.

If you can stop discussing the debut of Señor Frowny Pumpkin, that is. Dude’s gonna break this Internet in half.