I Went To The Waffle House

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You Know What I Love?

As some of you may have noticed, the ol’ meme where you list fifty things you love about comics is making the rounds again. In the time I’ve been doing the ISB, I’ve seen this one come around at least twice–I actually think Sterling has a list that goes up to around four thousand or something–but I’ve always held back.

I do, after all, tend to talk about that stuff on a daily basis, so my thinking’s always been that if you really want to hear about fifty things I love about comics, hang around for a month or so and I’ll probably get ‘em all.

Still, it’s always nice to have it all in once place.

 


 

Fifty Things I Love About Comics

 

1. The pure, unmatched beauty that is this page:

 

 

2. DEVILS OF DARKSEID!! THE TERRAIN ITSELF IS “TECHNO-ACTIVE!”

3. Mr. Fantastic hooking Thor’s hammer up to Iron Man’s armor and powers up his Time Sled so that they can all team up with Galactus to fight the Black Celestial.

4. A tank haunted by the ghost of a Confederate general that fights Nazis, occasionally doing so with a gorilla.

5. Batman keeps a Dalek in his basement, just in case.

 

 

6. Clobberin’ Time.

7. Jimmy Olsen, who was a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes and had an International Fan Club, based solely on the fact that he hung out with Superman sometimes.

8. All Things MODOK.

9. Karl:

 

 

11. Nick Fury’s Rocket Powered Motorcycle.

12. Batman, the Punisher, and Darkhawk all have perfect records when fighting against bears.

13. The Warriors Three.

14. Well, mostly Volstagg, but still.

15. “Don’t be silly, I’m the most powerful man in Metropolis.” “Not anymore.”

16. SCIENCE!

 

 

17. Bill Mantlo on Marvel Two-In-One.

18. Kevin Maguire on Justice League International.

19. Bob Haney on some unidentifiable mix of jive-talk-inducing chemicals.

20. Kirby Dots (or Kirby Krackle, both of which would be fantastic names for delicious candy).

21. Spidey Super Stories:

 

 

22. Batroc Ze Leapair!

23. The Joker’s Five-Way Revenge.

24. “OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy seven-foot-tall purple-suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes and he could make people do whatever he said automatically! He was totally awesome! And I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the Earth!!

25. “No rest for the wicked awesome.”

26. “You dare to beg for mercy? You–who have none in your wretched heart? You–who have caused death and grief and suffering–with no pity save for yourself? You are vermin, Jock Parker! You are human slime! I’ll waste no hell-fire on the likes of you! No…I’ll send you into death’s icy embrace–WITH MY OWN BARE HANDS!

27. “I have heard the word… and it is battle.”

28. Balder the Brave.

29. The greatest team in comics history: Section 8.

30. Every Single Thing About This Panel:

 

 

31. Power Man.

32. Iron Fist.

33. Power Man and Iron Fist.

34. The Suicide Squad.

35. Slam Bradley.

36. In Avengers #1, the Hulk disguises himself as a robot clown who can juggle elephants. Because apparently, robot clowns that could juggle elephants were common enough in 1963 that nobody would stop to think that maybe that was actually the Hulk.

37. The Ever-Constant Citizens of Riverdale, USA.

38. The Planetary Chance Machine.

39. The Legion of Substitute Heroes.

40. GODDAMN NAZI FRANKENSTEIN MONKEY!!

 

 

41. Firestorm and his infinitely terrible rogues gallery.

42. “And towering above all… CONAN!

43. The Spirit and his nigh-constant head injuries.

44. The Cowboy Wally Show.

45. Ambush Bug’s political affiliation:

 

 

46. OMAC #2, Pages 2 and 3.

47. “Look Out, Alpha! The Wrecking Crew’s Gonna @#%$ You Up!”

48. Watchmen #5.

49. Count Dante.

50. The fact that Thor can’t lift it, the Hulk can’t lift it, but by God, when Aunt May’s life is on the line Spider-Man Can!

 

 

And a heck of a lot more besides.

Items of (Alleged) Interest

For those of you who have missed the sound of my rich, mildly accented voice in the four months since the last installment of Radio ISB, it might be of interest to find out that I was interviewed over the weekend by the Comic Review Weekly Podcast.

So in lieu of actual content today, why not go give that a download and listen to me ramble on for about twenty minutes? The guys from the podcast describe it like this…

“Chris talks about his writing career, comics, and his perpetual 1 degree of separation between him and Mike Nelson.”

…and while that’s completely accurate, I’d advise you to listen carefully for:

1) My utter cluelessness when the idea of having a popular blog is brought up.

2) The secret origin of both The Week in Ink and The Monday Meme (Surprise! It involves Dungeons and Dragons).

And, in a bizarre moment,

3) Me totally spacing out for a few seconds while talking about my father.

It’s the first time I’ve ever been interviewed, and I think that shows in the way that I talk a lot whenever the opportunity presents itself, but it was fun.

In other news, the ISB Convention Special is now printed up and ready to go, and three out of four Punishers agree, Solmon Stone Chapter 9 is totally rad.

 

 

The fourth Punisher, it seems, was actually a Dalek.

Anyway, fictional endorsements aside, I thought that some of you might be curious as to what the special actually looks like, and since I’ve already posted the art for the front cover, tonight, I thought I’d mention the back, which, aside from a black-and-white version of the new ISB Logo (as featured on all of our fine merchandise) is blank.

Now, that might seem like an awful waste of paper that could be used to show off someone getting a boot to the chops, but it actually serves a purpose. If you manage to get out to Charlotte this weekend to grab one, just say the word and I’ll be more than happy to deface it with a poorly-drawn caricature of your favorite character!

 

 

Swing by and grab one, won’t you?

Notes on the First Draft of Spider-Man 3, And Other Items of Interest

Spider-Gram for a J. Jonah Jameson?

 

 

If you haven’t already, head over to CRACKED.com and catch my latest effort as a contributing editor to America’s Only Humor Website, where I unearth Sony’s Notes on the First Draft of Spider-Man 3, in my first shot at the great series of articles originated by the hilarious Tim Kochenderfer.

My personal favorite:

P.59 –

While it is true that Kirsten will say anything we care to write down, a scene where Mary Jane turns to the camera and says “I, Kirsten Dunst, legally agree to have sex at least three times with Hollywood actor Ted Raimi” really doesn’t fit with the rest of the plot.

Incidentally, more information about Hollywood Actor Ted Raimi can be found in the pages of–you guessed it–Dark Xena.

 

Okay, now that the shameless self-promotion’s over, how about I turn the laser-like focus that is the ISB’s readership onto someone else for a change?

You guys like comics, right? I mean, that’s presumably why you’re here, so I think it’s a pretty safe assumption. And assuming you’re like me, you want more good comics, right? Well, right now, you’ve got a chance at getting just that.

 

 

My pal “Rad” Chad Bowers–whom longtime ISB readers may remember as the inspiration for my post on Superman and Batman’s Night Together–and artist Jerome Hinds have entered the Dimestore Productions “Small Press Idol” competition, and they’re looking to get some votes for the next round.

Their project’s called Danger Ace, and as Chad says, it’s a pulp action story of secret identities, Ernest Hemingway, and Zombie King Kong, and that’s just where it gets started. Seriously, I’ve known the guy for years, and if you give him half a chance, he will make some comics you want to read.

So give him half a chance, won’t you? All you have to do is hit up their forum, check it out, and if you like what you see, drop a simple reply with the word “YES.” You do have to register before you can vote, but as someone who threw his vote in the ring last night, I can assure you that it’s a pretty painless process.

And if you don’t like it, well, no harm done, and you’ve still got cheap jokes about Venom to fall back on. So get on it!