Well How Else Would He Do It?

Originally, my plan for tonight was to do a bit of a longer post, but I got caught up in reading my new copy of Bat-Manga!, and brother, that thing’ll eat a couple of hours like nobody’s business.

I mentioned this thing back when it was solicited, but for those of you who missed it, Bat-Manga! is Chip Kidd’s big book of Japanese Batman stuff from the sixties, based in large part around Jiro Kuwata’s manga. And needless to say, given that it manages to combine the craziness of ’60s Batman with the insanity of manga, this thing is flat-out awesome, despite the controversy that arose from the fact that Kidd didn’t credit Kuwata–whose work as a writer and artist makes up somewhere around 90% of the book–on the cover.

To be fair, I can’t imagine there’s any malice behind it: There’s never an attempt made to hide the fact that these are Kuwata’s stories, as he gets a shout-out in Kidd’s dedication (which calls him “the master”) and on the back flap. But, and this is a “but” so big that Sir Mix-a-Lot could write a song about it, his name’s not on the cover or the title page, which, considering that it lists the guy who arranged the pages, the guy who photographed the pages, and the people who translated them, makes a pretty big omission in not mentioning the guy who wrote and drew them in the first place. And again, this is Chip Kidd. He designs books for a living. It’s not like he doesn’t know how important a mention on the cover is.

To make matters worse, when he was called out on it by Comic Foundry‘s Laura Hudson, his reaction got pretty defensive–or at least, that’s how it seemed to me–and featured him railing against the “culture of blogger snark,” as well as bunch of defenders on that bastion of class, Newsarama, including one hilarious guy who claimed that book designer Chip Kidd was a bigger draw than, you know, Batman.

Long story short (too late!): Kidd claimed that Kuwata’s name being left off wasn’t a slight, but just a reflection of the fact that the manga was only one part of a larger work that included all kinds of Batman-related pop culture ephemera. But, considering that the manga’s a big enough part of it that the title of the book is Bat-MANGA, the promise of a reprint of Kuwata’s work was the major selling point of the solicitation, and that Internet luminaries like Chris Sims think that the pictures of weird old Japanese toys are just another obstacle to flip past on your way to the next page of Batman’s fight with Lord Death Man, his argument doesn’t hold a lot of water.

Credits aside, though, the book is great. I could go on about how the stories–reproduced from photographs of the original yellowed pages with blocky, sans-serif lettering to give it a retro feel that works really well–are exactly the kind of madness that you want from sixties Japanese Batman stories. But really, all you need to see is this:

 

 

Fan-tastic!

How the Batman Saved Christmas!

With Christmas Eve finally upon us and most of the presents safely tucked under the tree, there might be a few of you wondering what I want for Christmas this year. Well, as we all know from the Saturn Knight story, Christmas isn’t just about getting stuff, but if I was pressed, I’d have to admit that there’s one thing I’d really like to see this year.

And that is Batman.

Kicking a bear in the face.

On Christmas.

But, well, that’s pretty specific to my taste, so really… what’re the odds of that showing up?

 

IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

 

It’s a story that could only be told in the pages of 1976’s Batman #285, also known as The Greatest Comic Book of All Time. So great, in fact, that I’d originally just automatically assumed it was by Bob Haney and Jim Aparo, because really, it’s Batman in a Christmas Tree fighting a bear, and that’s got Haney written all over it. But while Aparo does provide the cover, it’s actually David Reed, Romeo Tanghal and Frank Springer who bring us this tale of holiday cheer.

So here’s how it goes down:

 

 

All the people in Gotham liked Christmas a lot. But Dr. Tzin-Tzin, imprisoned in Arkham… did not.

Was it maybe because he’d lost too many fights? Or because Batman had trapped him with noise and bright lights?

 

 

Was there even a reason? Were there maybe a million? All that matters right now is that this guy’s the villain.

But at least he’s locked up… Oh, right, this is Arkham, where they’re out of the cells just as soon as they park ’em.

Before long, he’s escaped without doing his time, and he sets about plotting a Holiday crime!

 

 

“It’s insanely special!” said the man with the cowl, “He’s going to stop Christmas from coming… but how?

Tzin-Tzin had an idea. An awesome idea. Dr. Tzin-Tzin had a terrible, awesome idea!

He’d pray to his dark gods! He’d unleash his magic! He’d make sure this Christmas was nothing but tragic!

“I’ll now have my vengeance! He’ll fall before me! I’ll make Batman fight a bear… IN A HUGE CHRISTMAS TREE!”

 

 

But Batman, as we know, won’t go out like a punk. Just ask Riddler, the Joker, Scarecrow and Mad Monk.

So the bear’s taken out, but as Bats gets reflective, he sees the whole city was Tzin-Tzin’s objective!

 

 

He’s stolen their Christmas! He’s stolen their thoughts! All the holiday cheer from the Haves and Have-Nots!

They don’t know they should party at the big Christmas Bash! Why, they can’t even remember to serve the Bat-Hash!

 

 

All but Batman it seems, have forgotten the season, and now we can see Tzin-Tzin’s plan has a reason:

He doesn’t just want to make the Batman pay… He wants him to suffer alone Christmas Day!

Clearly, he forgot how much rage Batman has to be fed. I mean, jeez, Doc… the guy’s friggin’ parents are dead!

And that’s why Bruce Wayne cannot suffer in silence, so like so many things… this one calls for some violence.

 

 

Thus, Christmas is saved, and we all learn a little, so keep this in mind if your spirit gets brittle:

Maybe Christmas, it seems, doesn’t come from a place. But from inside your heart…

…or a kick to the face.

“I think Batman & Robin is the best one.”

Yeah, I said it.

 

 

…but for the actual context–in which I go on to explain that the universally reviled Batman & Robin is the best of the Burton/Schumacher Batman films because nobody involved even seems like they’re trying not to make the worst movie ever–you’ll have to check out the latest installment of the Joe vs. Ken Podcast!

Joe and Ken invited me to call in for the second part of their retrospective on the Batman movies, so on the off chance that you don’t want me to shut up about Batman already after last week, head over to their site to hear me talk about Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, and even Batman Begins and Dark Knight for forty minutes! And for bonus points, listen closely for the part where I break my own No Star Wars Rule and the sound of me grinding my teeth when another guest starts badmouthing Batman ’66!

Seriously though, it was a lot of fun, and hopefully, you guys’ll get a kick out of it too.

Friday Night Fights: Merry Christmas, Darling!

The holidays are bearing down and the gift buying season is in full swing, even in Gotham City! And while I’ve only gotten a few presents wrapped and tagged, I know what somebody wants: Violence!

 

 

 

 

 

Paul Dini and Ronnie Del Carmen’s “The Harley and the Ivy,” originally from the Batman Adventures Holiday Special, can be found in the DC Universe Christmas.

The Week In Ink: The Rambly Edition

All right, folks, it’s Thursday night, and while this is normally the spot where you’d find a list of this week’s releases and what I thought about them, the fact that we’re coming off of a shipping delay means that this week, we’re going to be doing things a little differently.

Of course…

 

 

…things aren’t going to be that different.

But, since comics shipped late and I haven’t actually read most of the ones from this week, I’m going to switch things up and do this week’s reviews a little more freeform.

Really though, there’s only one comic that I’m really interested in talkinga about, and the one that everybody’s been talking about: Batman #681. Needless to say, spoilers below.

I gotta say, I loved this issue. Loved it to pieces. Loved almost everything about it, and while I’m not crazy about Tony Daniel, I don’t have the hate for his art that a lot of other folks do, and I think he does all right for himself. Of course, as my pal Chad said, if you can’t make Batman clawing his way out of his own grave while lightning crashes in the background look good, then you should probably just quit comics entirely.

Would it have looked better if Cliff Chiang or JH Williams III drew it? Well, yeah, but so would 90% of the comics coming out today, and while I’ll admit that Daniel’s not spectacular, he’s not horrible either, and there’s something vaguely Aparoesque about the leaner form that he gives to Batman that appeals to me, even if his action scenes are a heck of a lot clunkier than the ol’ favorite.

The story, though, I had no problem with whatsoever, to the point where I was actually surprised that there were a lot of people out there who did. From what I understand, their main problem stems from the vagueness surrounding Dr. Hurt’s identity–which may be Thomas Wayne, Bruce Wayne, an actor that we’ve never actually seen before, or the fucking Devil–and the lack of a big dramatic reveal, but that didn’t bother me at all.

Sure, there was an interview where we were promised the biggest reveal in 70 years, but, well, let’s not forget that there was a time when Ten Nights of the Beast was going to be the next Dark Knight Returns, so I tend to take promises like that with a golf ball-sized grain of salt.

Beyond that, though, there are two key points: One, in as much as it matters, we do know who Dr. Hurt is. The entire story is about Batman is always one step ahead of everyone, whether he’s “drawing another box” around the Joker, second-guessing his own emotions when he’s falling in love, planning to escape from every conceivable deathtrap and so on, so when Batman says it’s Mangrove Pierce, there’s no reason we shouldn’t believe him. He’s certainly theatrical enough to be an actor–check out his pose on the page where he delivers the scenery-chewing speech “The BLACK GLOVE, at great expense, has made certain SHOCKING documents and photographs available to Gotham City’s MEDIA!”–and as Batman says, he certainly had motive, method and opportunity. Sure, he rants about being the Devil, but, well, that’s what crazy people do.

Secondly, for all intents and purposes, it doesn’t matter who Dr. Hurt is. All you need to know for the purposes of the story is that he’s someone that a sinister organization called the Black Glove put in charge of a plot to destroy Batman. And in the story, we’re all but told flat out that this is the biggest and best plot to destroy Batman ever, attacking Bruce Wayne on both levels, spending years developing a psychological attack that’ll turn off Batman, blunting his edge by softening criminals… it’s some far-reaching stuff, designed to bring down one man. And yet it fails, because he’s Batman, and the Batman thinks of everything.

For me, that’s damn near perfect.

The second–and far, far more stupid–problem a couple of people had was that Batman didn’t really die, or that his “death” wasn’t convincing, and… Cripes, man. Really?

Even putting aside that this is comics and that “death” in super-hero books is less than meaningless thanks to a litany of miraculous recoveries that I could spend all night listing, did any of you out there really think that Batman was going to in a story that opened with this page?

 

 

If you did, then I’m sorry: You are dumb.

There’s been a rumor floating around that DC Editorial made Morrison change the ending of RIP (a completely separate and distinct rumor from the one where DC Editorial made Morrison change the ending of Final Crisis, I assure you), and while I suppose it might be true, I’m pretty sure that I don’t buy it. The far more likely version, I think, is that Morrison wanted to do a story where he shows why Batman always wins–along the lines of his All-Star Superman, wherein the title character defeats his own prophesied Certain Death in a rather familiar fashion–and DC editorial, in their inimitable “let’s never leave well enough alone” fashion, saw it, remembered how much money they made when they temporarily offed Superman back in ’94, and then decided to bill it as the story where they No Seriously We Really Mean It For Reals This Time Kill Batman and tie it into a bunch of bullshit crossovers that don’t matter and aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.

Yeah. I’m looking at you, “Heart of Hush.”

It’s the same thing they did to Final Crisis with the twin trainwrecks that were Death of the New Gods and Countdown, wherein Morrison specifically asked DC to stay away from the New Gods and they instead passed them around–and I’m quoting G-Mo here–“like Hepatitis B.” And it’s not like you can really blame them for that. I mean, it’s not Dan Didio’s job to tell good stories; it’s Dan Didio’s job to make money, and we all know that if DC swears up and down that something’s going to “matter,” whether it’s Death of the New Gods or a story in Robin with an “RIP” banner slapped on it where Tim Drake vows to take Batman down if he has to, they’re going to sell more comics. Especially if it’s a slow news day that comes while the mainstream media’s trying to fill the void left by the Election and Batman’s No Seriously You Guys I Know We Did An Event Called “This Issue Batman Dies” Like Six Years Ago But We Mean It This Time “death” gets onto the radio somewhere.

But all of this distracts from the real issue here, which is… well, the issue itself. Even if Morrison did rewrite the ending to make it more palatable to his corporate paymasters, there’s no point in discussing what else it might’ve been, any more than there’s a point in wishing that Jim Aparo came back from the dead to draw it: The Batman: RIP that we have is what we have, and I think it came out great.

Last year at HeroesCon, I had a conversation with Josh Elder–of Mail Order Ninja fame–and when I asked him about his approach to writing The Batman Strikes, he told me that there are really only three Batman stories that you can tell: The First One, the Last One, and the One in the Middle, and the two on the outside have already been done. It’s a simplified take on making every story count, but when it comes to a character that there’s been so much done with already, it makes a lot of sense. And if Batman: RIP is the one that happens in the middle, then I’m perfectly fine with that.

Also, this week’s issue was fantastic as well, if for no other reason than the Hamlet Scene. Cracked me right up.

As for the other comics of the past couple of weeks, let’s see here… Thor: Man of War was even more metal than its namesake, Wolverine: Manifest Destiny is Big Trouble in Little China with Wolverine as Jack Burton (which is totally awesome), Marvel Zombies 3 had one of the most hilariously awesome sequences since Nextwave ended, and Tarot #53 is not only the worst comic I own, but may in fact be the worst comic book I have ever read in my life.

But I’ll get to that another time.

Oh hey! I almost forgot: The second chapter of Chad Bowers and Chris Nye’s Impossible! is now up for your reading pleasure at the Action Age of Comics! Click here to head over there, give it a read, and let us know what you think, won’t you?