One of the bigger pieces of news to come out of the Comics Blogger Internet this year was that after three years of aggregating posts, Ragnell and Kalinara have left When Fangirls Attack, and turned the reins over to a new crew.

That’s common knowledge, but what you might not know is that that before Rags rejected me for being, and I quote, “a hateful misogynist who serves only to give me something to loathe in this world,” I actually threw my hat in the ring to take WFA over myself. It’s probably just as well that I didn’t get it, as I already have my hands full with the ISB and the Action Age, and really, I have no interest in combing LiveJournal for Feminist critiques of West Coast Avengers. No, my interest lies solely with the domain name.

I mean really: “Women In Comics” is a name that could lend itself to a lot of things, and while my first thought was just to use it as a repository for commissioned fetish art–you know, the girls of the Legion barefoot, Red Sonja doing her taxes, Catwoman brushing her teeth, stuff like that–but the more I think about it, the more I think that a bunch of definitive profiles of female characters would be best.

Sadly, it doesn’t look like that’ll happen, but since I already had a few ready to go on the chance I got the job, I thought I’d share them on the ISB tonight. Enjoy!

This Is Phoenix

She’s died and come back to life like eight times because seriously, dudes fuckin’ love redheads. Take note, Irish girls: You are functionally immortal.

This Is Manhunter

She balances her career as an attorney and raising her son Ramsey with her activities as a ruthless vigilante, but her series was sadly canceled before she could face off against her opposite number, the MILF Hunter.

This Is Emma Frost, the White Queen

Her costume is basically a tube top and a pair of skin-tight low-rise vinyl pants, but it used to be just panties and a corset. Who says there’s no feminist progress in comics?

This Is Mary Jane Watson

She used to be Spider-Man’s wife, but in current continuity, she was just his live-in girlfriend for a while. Also in current continuity, nobody knows Spider-Man’s secret identity, not even the girl he used to live with, which makes Mary Jane Watson the dumbest human being alive.

This Is Psylocke

“Yo dogg I heard you like English accents, so we put a British girl in your Ninja so you can still be classy while you’re stabbin’ people with swords.”

This Is Wonder Woman

Despite what you may have heard, she has only ever been good like three times in seventy years. In the family of comics, she’s like the crazy grandmother that sometimes says really super racist stuff at Thanksgiving dinner, but she’s been around a while and nobody really knows what to do with her so you just have to put up with it.

This Is Tigra

She used to be a non-powered vigilante, but is now a sassy, bikini-clad catgirl who is currently pregnant with a litter of aliens. Believe it or not, she actually pre-dates the Internet and didn’t just originate in fan-fiction.

This Is Batgirl

You’re welcome.

For those of you who missed the announcement, today is Mike Sterling’s fortieth birthday!

That’s right, folks: forty years. But thanks to two decades in comics retail, he doesn’t look a day over Died Three Weeks Ago.

And yes, you read that correctly: The man’s worked in a comic book store for half his life. I’ve worked in one for five years, and every time I see that guy it’s like a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come. I just want to run out, buy a goose, and remind myself that it’s not too late: I don’t have to go down that path of beard growth and POG sales.

Of course, unless you’re one of the many transients that worships Mike as the Hobo King of Orange County, you probably know him best from Progressive Ruin, one of the most popular comics blogs on the Internet. Which, when you get right down to it, is sort of like eating the most nutritious meal at the food court.

He’s been doing the blog daily for six years, and in that time, it’s become the first stop of the day for people who want to hear what a guy who thinks the art form peaked with Nancy and Sluggo thinks about the industry, a readership that surprised everyone by totaling over six people. He’s known for being informative, witty and even-handed (especially compared to the rest of the drunken, loudmouthed hotheads of the comics blogger Internet), but let’s take a look at what he’s actually been doing over there.

Mike Sterling devoted a week of daily updates to Joel Schumaker’s Batman & Robin and did a week where he responded to actual, honest-to-God fans of Rob Liefeld. Every time Previews comes out, he spends that Wednesday night staying up late and driving himself crazy with Coast to Coast AM, going through the entire catalog to highlight allegedly erotic statues from Japan.

Folks, that’s not a website. It’s a cry for help.

Incidentally, Mike’s “End of Civilization” posts started because of his shock at the Buffy the Vampire Slayer “Stake” prop, which was essentially a hundred dollar piece of wood. Because when it comes to figuring out which collectibles cross the line, you can definitely trust a forty year-old man who owns a pair of Swamp Thing slippers.

But he keeps at it every day and he’s somehow managed to become one of the most respected and admired voices on the comics Internet, and someone that for the past few years, I’ve been proud to call my friend. Happy Birthday, Mikester! And here’s to many more!

As some of you may have heard, Karen Ellis, creator of the webcomic Planet Karen, has recently lost virtually everything she owns in a fire.

This is, needless to say, a pretty horrible thing to happen to someone, and if you can spare anything at all, I’d encourage you to head over to her site and donate via the button in the sidebar.

If you’re a regular on the comics blog circuit, then you’ve probably heard this already, but in case you haven’t, Blog@Newsarama contributor Carla Hoffman and her husband Lance were badly burned and lost their house during the recent wildfires that swept through California.

To be totally honest, I don’t know Carla (although those that do have never had anything but nice things to say about her and Lance), but I do know that that’s the kind of tragedy that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, and that nobody should have to go through it without help. To that end, the Lance and Carla Burn Fund has been set up at the Santa Barbara Bank & Trust, and if you can, I’d urge you to help out with a contribution. Kevin has the details on where to send a check or money order, and I wish the Hoffmans a speedy recovery.

Last week, Bahlactus ended the eighteen-month celebration of comic book violence, Friday Night Fights.

But that wasn’t the end.

November 14: Friday Night Fights returns!

Here at the ISB, I’ve gotten a fair amount of attention from folks based around the way I like to poke a little fun at the stranger corners of the Silver Age, a task that I can assure you has taken literally twos of man-hours from my dedicated research staff over the years.

But now, I’ve reached the point where I feel that it’s time to start passing my knowledge down, so tonight, I’m going to give one back to the kids. So for anyone out there looking for an easy way to start cutting your teeth on making fun of old comics, here’s a Protip:

There is a story in Showcase Presents Superman v.4 where Superman falls under the maddening, irresistable thrall of his two greatest villains:

 

DIXO AND VAGU

You’re welcome.

Just in case any of you have ever doubted my commitment to the ISB, I’d like to point out that while the first Herbie Archive came out today, I am not currently reading it. Instead, I am spending my evening guiding you through the part of the Previews catalog that includes things like this:

Never doubt that I love you all.

Of course, Ken Lowery claims that my love comes from a passive-aggressive sense of guilt and entitlement, but what the hell does he know? All that matters right now is that we’ve got this month’s Indy Press and Merchandise sections to get through!

Comics

P. 201 – Archie Americana Series v.9: Best of the ’90s: “So this’ll be, what, twelve pages long?”

This joke sent in by young Dorian Wright of Ventura, CA! Thanks, Dorian!

P. 203 – Pals-n-Gals Double Digest #126: Okay, look: The “Realistic Style”–which, when you get right down to it, is no more realistic than the DeCarlo/Scarpelli style, it just has more lines–for the Archie books has got to stop. When it was just the Betty & Veronica story, it was fine; if nothing else, it at least broke up the monotony a little bit, but the charm started to wear off once we got into the saga of Jughead and the unfortunately named Sandy Sanchez.

Now, though, there’s an even bigger problem as they shift it over to a story about Moose and Midge, because when you try to translate the goofy, dumb expressions that come across so easily in the classic style, you end up with something like this:

And really, I’m trying to be delicate here, but I’m pretty sure the image we’ve got is not the one they intended.

P. 233 – The Corps #0: This might just be really funny to me and Chad, but does anybody else think it’s hilarious that when Devil’s Due lost the license to GI Joe, they picked up the rights to the other 3.75″ military figure knockoffs that you can find warming pegs at your local Wal-Mart?

Seriously, that takes enough pure moxie that I want to read this thing just to see if the Corps is going to be duking it out with Serpent Sergeant and his weapons suppliers, Wreckto and the Duchess!

P. 264 – Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files: Storm Front #1: Unlike the second Anita Blake series, which I’m facing down with the resolve of a man who knows he’s got a dirty job that somebody’s gotta do, I’m actually–and bear with me because this is a new and unfamiliar feeling–looking forward to this one, having throughly enjoyed both the first Dresden comic and the novel on which the new one’s based quite a bit.

One thing I’m curious about, though: Butcher’s listed as the sole writer of “Welcome to the Jungle”–which was another reason I was surprised at how well that series was paced–but with this issue, he’s got a cowriter in Mark Powers, who may or may not be the same guy who wrote “World War III” in GI Joe: America’s Elite. I think it’s safe to assume that Powers is probably handling the adaptation, but I wonder how involved Butcher’s going to be on this one. If only there was someone at Dabel Brothers who could answer my questions!

P. 275 – DMP’s Monthly Yaoiganza: And while we’re on the subject of things that are funny only to me, I caught this one when I was flipping through the Yaoi solicitations the other day…

…and then could not stop reading the title to the tune of Snoop Dogg’s Sexual Eruption, which made it even more hilarious than it already is.

P. 315 – Labor Days v.1: This is descibed in the solicitation as being for people who like The Big Lebowski, with art by a storyboard artist on The Venture Brothers.

Oh, Oni Press. You do know how to sell me comics.

P. 342 – Street Fighter II Turbo #1: Considering that they’re based almost entirely around people kicking each other in the face and shooting fireballs made of pure willpower out of their hands, it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to anybody that I actually do enjoy Ken Siu-Chong’s Street Fighter comics, and I’ll confess that I’m pretty excited about the fact that Udon has decided to take a cue from the game and title their third SF series Street Fighter II Turbo. I can only hope this means that we’ll eventually get stuff like Street Fighter v.7: Street Fighter II EX Plus Alpha, followed by Street Fighter v.8: Street Fighter 3.

Books

P. 388 – Bat-Manga!: Holy shit, you guys!

If October rolls around and they find me with my head blown off, dead of sheer lunatic awesome, this would be why.

Merch

P. 486 – Rachelle Fine Art Bust: Okay, it’s nice and all, but…

…it doesn’t really look a whole lot like Rachelle, does it?

SPECIAL BONUS HILARITY FROM THE SOLICITATION: “While many of the Yamashita creations are tagged with the “CUTE & EROTIC” phrase, but RACHELLE is best described as “SIMPLE & INNOCENT.”

And on that bit of Comics Blogger Internet in-jokery, I think it’s time to call it a night. As always, feel free to discuss anything that caught your eye in the comments section below.

If you can stop discussing the debut of Señor Frowny Pumpkin, that is. Dude’s gonna break this Internet in half.