Today at ComicsAlliance, I’m presenting a travelogue originally written for the Latverian Daily Inquisitor that details Dr. Doom’s visit to the Gathering of the Juggalos and his ill-fated quest to unite the Dark Carnival under his iron-fisted rule.
One of the nicer things about working for ComicsAlliance is that I can get an idea like this in my head and Laura totally lets me run with it. So please, enjoy the crossover fanfic I was paid to write.
Today at ComicsAlliance, Dr. Doom sends holiday wishes to his subjects:
With Doomsgiving behind us, It is once again the Holiday season! The tree has been decorated with the treasures of the pirate Blackbeard, the goblets are full of delicous Doomnog, and as we approach this year’s mandatory two-hour Christmas celebration (increased from last year’s 90 minutes, for is not Doom a generous ruler?), Doom would like to take a look back and share some of this year’s treasured memories with you, his adoring countrymen.
Fashion, robots, and stand-up comedy. Truly, there is something for everyone.
And now, the ISB proudly presents the final Spidey Super Stories Moment of Joy. Jim Salicrup’s allegedly educational masterpiece has given us a lot of joy over the past year, from the Thanoscopter to Webby-Two and so many candidates for the greatest panel of all time, but with the final scene from #31, the ISB says goodbye to the greatest comic book ever printed.
I give you… The Star Jaws.
Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night, sweet prince;
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.
—William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act V, Scene 2
And now, your Spidey Super Stories Moment of Joy for the evening, continuing the spine-tingling saga of the Star Jaws:
SPIDER-MAN AND DOCTOR DOOM
FIGHTING WITH LIGHTSABERS.
My work here is done.
And now, your Spidey Super Stories Moment of Joy for tonight:
Now it has been revealed: The Terrifying Secret of… The Star Jaws.
Spidey Super Stories #31. Still the greatest comic book of 1978.
And now, continuing the thrilling saga that began last week, your Spidey Super Stories Moment of Joy for tonight:
Because really: If there’s one thing better than Super Stories Jonah Jameson, it’s Super Stories Doom.
And now, your Spidey Super Stories Moment of Joy for tonight: the final chapter of the spine-tingling saga of Spidey vs. Webby:
Thus, Everything Works Out Okay.
And I’ll be honest with you here, folks: That entire series was just an excuse to get to the panel where Dr. Doom shouts “WEBBY! WEBBY-TWO! COME HELP ME!” as that is clearly the finest dialogue the character has ever spoken.
And I can prove it.
BONUS FEATURE: Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of Doom!