This Stuff Sucks: The Worst Vampire Merchandise Ever

 

 

Today at ComicsAlliance, I’ve rounded up a gallery of the worst vampire merchandise the Internet has to offer (and one, see above, that is totally rad), and while this might come as a shock, Twilight merch only accounts for 20% of it.

Special thanks for this one goes out to Dave Campbell, Dr. K, Anna and Piers for their help with this one, although since in Anna’s case, “help” meant showing me things that were absolutely terrifying, I’m not sure if “thanks” is the right word. Seriously, though, I couldn’t have done it without them.

As to the contents of the article, the title’s a bit misleading, as it doesn’t have the absolute worst piece of vampire-related ephemera to ever hit shelves, for as all ISB die-hards know, that is an honor that belongs to one thing and one thing only:

 

 

Seriously you guys. It’s just the worst.

ComicsAlliance: Diary of a Wimpy X-Man

 

 

Today at ComicsAlliance, I’ve written–and drawna parody of Diary of a Wimpy Kid starring a pre-teen Charles Xavier!

This was one of the more difficult things I’ve had to do for CA. While I had more freedom to set things up once I decided against editing the existing panels, things were sort of hampered by the fact that I cannot draw. Seriously, what you see in the article that’s passed off as the scribblings of a ten year-old represents the absolute limit of my artistic prowess.

This is also one of the few times that I didn’t know where I was going to go with a particular piece until after I started working on it. Originally, I’d thought of approaching it as Wimpy Kid-style diaries of different super-heroes that represent moments of childhood trauma, like so…

 

 

…but after I’d done a couple, I realized that it was veering pretty close to both the Facebook Piece and Li’l Bruce Wayne, so I scrapped that and decided to expand on one I’d already drawn and devote it entirely to the X-Men.

And now you know… the rest of the story. So get over there and give it a read, but before you leave a comment, trust me: Wolverine’s head is a lot damn harder to draw than it looks.

War Rocket Ajax #9: Championship Edition with Tom Peyer!

 

 

War Rocket Ajax returns to our usual format for a conversation with writer Tom Peyer! Tom, as you’ll hear several dozen times over the course of the podcast, has written some of my all-time favorite DC Comics, and I was really excited to have him on to talk about Hourman, the totally awesome DC 2000, and what it was like to interact with a very vocal fan-base at the dawn of the Internet.

And if that wasn’t enough, Let’s Be Friends Again artist Chris Haley joins us in the third chair! We’ll talk about the prevalence of Venom in the world of car detailing, comics that scared us when we were kids, and how nice it is to have advertisers that actually make good products. Plus, we’ll have reviews of both Archie and the Punisher, talk about Dell’s forgotten super-hero monster comics, and offer big ups to a double-shot of haters!

And could there be the next thrilling installment of our ongoing musical melee with Awesomed By Comics? Well, yes, but you’ll have to listen to hear it. Enjoy!

Book Review: Sunnyside, by Glen David Gold

Like Glen David Gold’s last book, Carter Beats the Devil, Sunnyside is a work of fiction that draws heavily on real-life celebrities and historical figures to tell its story, but where Carter focused on the title character and his sequence of seemingly impossible escapes that tie in with the changing shape of entertainment in the 20th century, Sunnyside goes a bit earlier. Focused largely on Charlie Chaplin, it tells the story of the rise of Hollywood and the strange ending and aftermath of the first World War, weaving Chaplin’s struggles in with those of two other characters.

One of them, Lee Duncan, starts the book as an aspiring actor who at one point auditions for the Four Minute Men, the volunteers who would give propaganda-laden speeches to movie audiences in the four minutes it took to change reels.

On page 208, he meets the judges:

 


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And on page 216, they react to his performance:

 


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Sunnyside is the single greatest work of fiction ever published in the English language and you should buy it immediately.

Dracula Week: Las EnseƱanzas de El Santo

 

 

Normally, the ISB offers inspirational (and actual) quotes from the Ultimate Warrior as a public service to our readership so that they can reflect on his words and improve their lives. In honor of Dracula Week, however, we have turned the attention to the famous luchador philosopher El Santo, whose many battles against Dracula and the Vampire Women have become the stuff of legend.