The Valentine’s Doomsday Clock ticks ever closer to midnight, and while we here at the ISB always do our best to help our readers in matters of the heart, we understand that True Love can be a difficult thing to acquire. After all, even if you follow the examples set by Batman–ninja stealth and chloroform–and employ the most sizzling techniques that romance comics had to offer in the late fifties, there’s no guarantee that you’ll find that special someone by Saturday.
But there’s hope! And that’s why tonight, we turn to the greatest lover that the comics page has ever known…
Of course, there’s a pretty good chance that you’re not going to be using magic lollipops to travel back in time to mack on a capri-pantsed Maid Marian, but the basic lessons still apply:
Step One: Don’t be afraid to play Hard To Get
Step Two: If your potential mate’s significant other appears–upside down, from a tree–and starts yelling at you, it’s probably a good idea to do as he says.
Step Three: Stay limber.
For more comprehensive tips and tricks for time travel, gorilla wrangling, and ahhhhhhromance, consult Dark Horse’s indispensable Herbie Archives v.2.