Romance Special: Last of the Great Lovers

The Valentine’s Doomsday Clock ticks ever closer to midnight, and while we here at the ISB always do our best to help our readers in matters of the heart, we understand that True Love can be a difficult thing to acquire. After all, even if you follow the examples set by Batman–ninja stealth and chloroform–and employ the most sizzling techniques that romance comics had to offer in the late fifties, there’s no guarantee that you’ll find that special someone by Saturday.

But there’s hope! And that’s why tonight, we turn to the greatest lover that the comics page has ever known…

 

Herbie Popnecker

 

Of course, there’s a pretty good chance that you’re not going to be using magic lollipops to travel back in time to mack on a capri-pantsed Maid Marian, but the basic lessons still apply:

 

 

Step One: Don’t be afraid to play Hard To Get

 

 

Step Two: If your potential mate’s significant other appears–upside down, from a tree–and starts yelling at you, it’s probably a good idea to do as he says.

 

 

Step Three: Stay limber.

 

For more comprehensive tips and tricks for time travel, gorilla wrangling, and ahhhhhhromance, consult Dark Horse’s indispensable Herbie Archives v.2.

25 thoughts on “Romance Special: Last of the Great Lovers

  1. That…that woman…must be over seven feet tall.

    Is this how Rod Stewart got started?!

    Also: “I kissed a Herb’/An’ I liked it/The taste of his cherry Chupa-Chup.”

    *shudder*

    //\Oo/\\

  2. What’s going on in that second panel? Did she just kick Herbie in the face with a big smile on her face? Or is that her other leg, in which case I should be blushing and demurely averting my eyes?

  3. (Which would have worked better if I’d spelled it Popneck-est, but what’s the eternity of the internet when compared to needing to make off-the-cuff, grammatically-incorrect commentary?)

  4. Wha – whu – why are there little arrows going along the tree, making a loop, and then pointing at the toadie?!

    When you see it, you’ll take a dump! (or however that meme goes)

  5. “Man, Herbie seems like the most improbably awesome comic EVER.”

    You don’t know the half of it. Yeah, there’s a handful of standard gags that are used over and over again in the stories but they work them into such strange new context every time that it works.

    If you don’t laugh when Herbie strolls into Havana disguised as Fidel Castro then you have no soul.

  6. Limber, nothing, Herbie’s clearly unconcious in that last panel. Methinks the lassy has been taking lessons from Bruce.

    “Herbie, dearest, which one of these handkerchiefs smells more like chloroform?”

  7. How can she LIFT him? Maid Marian was much stronger than I thought. I guess she started with Friar Tuck and worked her way up.

  8. GL2814E:

    Oh man, that name is the best! kudos.

    Umm, anyone else know why Robin Hood is okay with Marian makin’ out with some other dude?

  9. Good call, Chris. It’s good to see some respect thrown the way of Alan Moore’s favourite superhero.