Celebrating International RGAHSA Day 2007

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…And we’re back, and what better way to return from a week of being able to catch up on sleep and video games than with an earnest, heartfelt discussion of a man and his super-powered Communist primates?

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen:

 

 

It’s The Red Ghost And His Super-Apes!

 

It’s not that I really need an excuse to talk about these guys–what with the fact that a cosmonaut and his Marxist test monkeys getting super-powers from space is like the fifth best character concept in history–but this particular discussion actually comes from a conversation I was having with my pal Chad.

As you may already know, bad simians of all kinds hold a particular interest for Chad, which led him to delcare that today, August 18, should be International Red Ghost And His Super Apes Day, and I wholeheartedly agree. Even without the benefit of being focused on a commie who–and this is going to be so awesome that I have to italicize it–battles the Fantastic Four with cosmic-powered space-apes, there’s really no better way to celebrate the birthday of our own Kevin Church. After all, he was able to overcome the handicaps of being a communist ape himself to achieve his own brand of Internet Fame in a story that can inspire us all.

So for tonight’s inaugural edition of International RGAHSA day, I bring you something awesome:

 

 

For those of you who have never read the absolutely phenomenal Spider-Man/Human Torch mini-series, allow me to assure you: It has everything you love about Spider-Man, everything you love about the Human Torch, everything you love about Dan Slott’s scripts, and pretty much everything you ought to love about Ty Templeton’s art. And this is the best issue of the series.

Each issue takes place at a certain point in the charaters’ history, and this one–opening with Spidey complaining to a recently-killed Gwen Stacy about recent run-ins with the Punisher and Luke Cage–fits in squarely around 1974, just in time for Amazing Spider-Man #130’s debut of the single greatest piece of super-hero paraphernalia since Stardust’s various lasers: The Spider-Mobile.

Because really–and I am totally serious about this–there is only one thing better than seeing Spider-Man rolling around Manhattan in a color-coordinated dune buggy. But we’ll get to that in a second.

All you really need to know for this issue is that Reed Richards has (surprise!) invented a crazy machine that changes gravity in a localized area around an object, and while he is completely ignorant of the radical wall-crawling dune buggy applications, the Red Ghost has decided to steal it for the further glory of the Soviet Union.

Let’s pause here and take one more look at that guy, shall we?

 

 

Man. A long-sleeved red vest with no shirt, blue gloves, a studded leather belt, a mini-skirt, and capped off by a head of hair reminiscent of Hulk Hogan, circa 1999. The only way the Red Ghost’s outfit could be better is if he was Zardoz.

Anyway, before he can get his filthy communist paws on Mr. Fantastic’s Anti-Gravity Ray, however, Spidey and the Torch decide that it would be a good idea to add it to the car’s engine:

 

 

They were wrong. That is an awesome idea. If only because of what it leads to.

Realizing that his original plan of replacing the Gravity Localizer with a shape-shifted cosmic baboon was doomed to failure despite critical levels of radness, the Red Ghost (and his Super-Apes) track down the heroes, at which time something happens that may actually be the most awesome thing ever:

 

 

Spider-Man Gets Carjacked By Super-Powered Communist Space Monkeys

 

Just being able to type that sentence has brought tears of joy to my eyes. But it actually gets better, because really: When your car gets stolen by a gang of Soviet primates and their sinister middle-aged master, there’s only one way to fight back:

The Delicious Taste and Real Fruit Filling of Mostess Fruit Pies

 

 

So, to review: Fruit pies, monkeys from space, the creeping scourge of cosmic communism, Zardoz, and a red and blue dune buggy that can do donuts on the side of a skyscraper. I’m no scientist*, but I’m pretty sure that makes this a good contender for the title of Best Comic Ever, and it’s only made better thanks to the Red Ghost and His Super-Apes.

Join us in our appreciation, won’t you?

 

 

*: Surprise!

37 thoughts on “Celebrating International RGAHSA Day 2007”

  3. I think the ending of this comics — which I shall not spoil here — might be the single heartiest, most sustained laugh I’ve ever gotten from a comic book. It’s priceless.

    For those whose interest was flagged up by Chris’ excellent post, you can get all five issues of this miniseries in a handy digest for the low low price of $7.99. Buy it and gaze upon it.

  5. Chris.

    CHRIS.

    You cannot do this to me when I’m drinking. I mean this would be great if I was sober, but after a bunch of merlot? Not even fair.

    And I once joked about getting married, but man, if you’ve got health insurance, we might really need to talk…

  9. Purchasing this digest was the best use of a ten dollar bill I had ever made–and I got change back, too.

    I am sad and shamed to admit that I once had hair exactly like the Red Ghosts (well, it wasn’t white) in my mid-20’s when I wouldn’t admit to myself that I was actually balding already.

  11. Dude? THAT is what I call coming back from vacation. You are the wind beneath my wings, Mr.Sims.

  12. The Red Ghost and his Super-Apes are the greatest Fantastic Four foes of them all. A dash of revamp or a visit to Project Rooftop and everyone else would realize it, too.

  14. Chris–I am grateful that you talked me in to buying this digest as one of my last purchases at HeroesCon this year. I read it in my office and laughed out loud at this issue.

  15. I must now run HeroClix teams comprised of nothing but Red Ghost and his Super-Apes. Pure awesome.(And yes, he and his primate pals DO have Clix figs.)

  17. I stopped reading comics for 15 years, and last year when I started up again, the Red Ghost and His Super Apes appeared in three of the first 10 or so comics I bought (this and two back issues of Amazing Spider-Man). I would have never stopped buying comics if he had been used more.

  18. The second issue of Zeb Wells and Skottie Young’s HUGELY underrated New Warriors miniseries (wacky + unexpectedly heartfelt = surprisingly awesome) features the Super-Apes. And they talk. And it’s one of the funniest single issues of a comic book I’ve ever read.

  19. “Bomster Says:

    Has the Red Ghost been working out? Last time I saw him he looked like this.”

    Communist monkey-love will shred your pecs and turn you into “a beast of a man”. Scientician-proved fact.

  22. I think I speak for many when I say that, perhaps for the first time, I now now officially. FREAKING. OUT.

  26. Josef Stylin’… left me spilling soda all over the place! damn you, sims, damn you!!!

  27. And the added bonus? Soviet super-apes would also want to kill Nazis!

    (With or without a tank.)

    God bless you, Dan Slott. Your use of Mostess fruit pies will be the cornerstone to the temple of your legend.

  28. This is, by a wide margin, the craziest damn thing I’ve ever seen – and I live in New Jersey. Poor Matthew lost the power of speech, he was freaking out so hard.

    Really, why would any of us need to drop acid after this?

  30. Just earlier this week I shared the costume joys of Zardoz with a coworker. I’ve never seen anyone collapse with such convulsions of laughter.

    Thank you for end-capping the week by bringing it up AGAIN.

  31. That’s..the most amazing thing that I have ever seen.

    Oh, man. I know what I gotta get tomorrow…

  34. Good review. Yes, Spider-Man/Human Torch was a great series, and yes, this is the best issue… When I first saw that panel announcing the presence of the Red Ghost and his Super-Apes, I actually said, “YES!” out loud.

  35. Hi, do you happen to have a compilation list of all the characters in the world of “The Punisher” or know hwere I could find one on line?

    Thanks
    Catherine