Chris vs. Previews: Special Edition

Long-time ISB readers might have noticed that for 2009, I finally gave up on Chris vs. Previews, my long-running roundup of the comic shop’s catalog. A couple of people have even gone so far as to ask why, and it really just comes down to the fact that I suddenly remembered that I totally hated writing those things every month.

Still, there are some things that just can’t pass without comment, so tonight, I’m bringing CvP out of retirement for this:

P. 138 – Dead @ 17: Afterbirth:

 

 

Uh, yeah, hey Josh Howard, are you aware that your comic is called Dead @ 17: Afterbirth? Because if you’re not, that’s probably something you should be aware of, and if you are, that brings up a whole new set of problems. I mean, sure, coming up with a title isn’t always easy, and “Afterbirth” might’ve seemed like a good idea at the time, but I can assure you that the prospect of going into a store and saying “Hey, you guys got Afterbirth yet?” isn’t something I’d be looking forward to, no matter how well last summer’s Hack/Slash: Placenta sold.

Just a heads-up.

30 comments

  1. NBarnes says:

    I can assure you that the prospect of going into a store and saying “Hey, you guys got Afterbirth yet?” isn’t something I’d be looking forward to, no matter how well last summer’s Hack/Slash: Placenta sold.

    Win.

  2. Greg G says:

    “Sexy” pose + expelled placenta = 100% pure no

  3. Jason says:

    (Semi-arcane reference in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . )

    Maybe the original title was Dead @ 17: Steel Vagina. Okay, I’ll shut up now.

  4. malakim2099 says:

    Sorry, after seeing the cover for Buffy Season 8 #25 in Previews last month…

    I just can’t be surprised anymore.

  5. YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!
    YOUR PLACENTA IS HAUNTED!!

  6. artie simek says:

    I see beautiful girls and thus feel sexual desire, and then I see the word “Afterbirth” and I am confused. Then I see the “Dead at 17″ part and realize that the girls are either a) younger than 17 or b) dead and that whole sexual desire thing hides under the sink until it’s safe to come out.

  7. Ilion says:

    That is a truly terrible title. And damn you malakim2099, I had blocked that cover out of my memory!

    Sorry to hear you hated doing CvP so much because it was always a joy to read and I’d been missing it. Well, there’s the End of Civilization over at Progressive Ruin to hold me up.

  8. Is there a law somewhere that says all teen-age girls in comics have to wear hip huggers and/or midriff less baby doll shirts?

    I mean I love scantily clad jail bait as much as the next guy but look at them. They’re obviously freezing!

  9. John Stanshall says:

    Man, I wish you’d go back to doing this as a regular feature… I’m sure it was a painful experience, but it was well appreciated.

  10. stogoe says:

    Surely it can’t be any more soul-crushing than The Annotated Anita Blake or Witchity Time with Jim Balent’s Eye-Gouging Fetish Art?

  11. Quiche says:

    But now who’s going to ridicule the titles of gay romance comics or show me how Japan is keepin’ it classy each month?

  12. HitTheTargets says:

    Afterbirth? Have you been reading the hentai section of Previews again?

  13. malakim2099 says:

    That is a truly terrible title. And damn you malakim2099, I had blocked that cover out of my memory!

    Why should I be the only one whose soul is scarred by this experience?

  14. skizelo says:

    Yes, but are you going to pick up Adam Warren’s Meconium?

  15. Skemono says:

    Sorry, after seeing the cover for Buffy Season 8 #25 in Previews last month…

    Whoa.

    Hot.

  16. Ralph Burns says:

    Hurray for Chris V Previews!

  17. Brad Curran says:

    If this isn’t already an April Fool’s Joke, I expect Mr. Howard to do a Homeriffic retraction soon. “Everyone laugh at the funny joke title I totally wasn’t going to actually publish!” I imagine he will keep the words pasghetti and momattoes in there, though.

  18. Will says:

    FWIW, I for one miss the hell out of Chris vs. Previews.

  19. Chris Sims says:

    Oh, guys. Don’t you realize? Chris vs. Previews was inside you all along!

  20. Franklin says:

    Nipples sell comix.

    True story.

  21. Bumbershoot says:

    I don’t buy it. I think that I’d know if there were any Chris vs. Previews in here.

  22. I TOTALLY understand why you wouldn’t want to do them, but Chris v. Previews was one of my favorite regular features and I deeply mourn its loss.

  23. christian says:

    they die before they get old
    and they’re 17
    woo!

  24. artie simek says:

    So, Chris, are you saying that Previews…wins?

  25. Kelberon says:

    “Oh, guys. Don’t you realize? Chris vs. Previews was inside you all along!”

    OH GOD GET IT OUT GET IT OUT

  26. jazzbo says:

    Is Japan keeping it classy? I have no idea anymore! Won’t someone help me?

  27. sleep says:

    “I TOTALLY understand why you wouldn’t want to do them, but Chris v. Previews was one of my favorite regular features and I deeply mourn its loss.”

    Ditto. Your feature and Benito’s were my guiding lights… now I have to navigate those stormy solicitations blind.

  28. Sockpuppet Therapy says:

    This must be an editorial mistake. As in the original title must have been After Birth, and the editor must have said, “Silly Josh Howard, it’s called Afterbirth.”

    That or Josh Howard really meant it to be Afterbirth, in which case *insert facepalm pic*.

  29. Pat says:

    THAT’S why I’ve been taking CON damage!

    Thanks, Sims.

  30. I was going to say, “I, for one, miss Chris vs. Previews”, but then Will said it, so nevermind.

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