Not Superman, but an Incredible Future Simulation!

You can say a lot of things about DC in the Silver Age, but you can’t accuse them of being stingy with the Superman.

Not just because Superman himself was starring monthly in two comics of his own, plus World’s Finest, Justice League, Superboy, Adventure Comics, and eventually DC Comics Presents, but because there were even different versions of the guy running around. Even putting aside the -girl, -horse, -monkey and -cat, you had the standard model, Superboy, the alternate future Superman Jr., Supermen Red and Blue, and Superbaby, who was presumably targeted at whatever degenerates were out there demanding more stories centering on poor grammar.

Which brings us to yet another Super-Doppelgänger:

 

 

Yes, The Superman of 2965, whose story can be found in the recent Superman: Past and Future, which also includes the absolutely essential stories of Lois Lane’s romance with Superman’s dad and that one time that Jimmy Olsen met Hitler. And really, after those, this guy doesn’t seem all that odd, but he raises his fair share of questions.

First and foremost: Why? Klar Ken T5477 (because, see, it’s the future!) was created by two of the greats, Edmond Hamilton and Curt Swan, for what appears to be no reason whatsoever. I mean, it’s not like there weren’t already a ton of stories about Superman rolling around the 30th Century or anything. And beyond that, there’s just no point. Seriously, 2965 here has no differences from his 1965 counterpart: Same powers, same costume, same haircut, heck, he even has the same job, working for the Daily Interplanetary News Service with future analogs for Lois, Jimmy and even Perry White.

Although to be fair, Perry is now an awesome robot:

 

 

Of course, the PW-5598 would fall out of favor by the 2970s, when it would be largely replaced with the J. Jonah Jametron.

There are a couple of differences, though. Superman-2965′s Fortress of Solitude is an invisible satellite first located in space, then later in the heart of the sun–an idea that Grant Morrison swiped for DC One Million–and… well, that’s pretty much it.

Except that he’s also completely immune to Kryptonite:

 

 

Instead, the Superman of the Future has developed a another weakness:

 

 

Seawater.

 

 

Yes, that’s right:

 

 

Seawater.

So, to review: We have been given a far-future Superman who is exactly like regular Superman–to the point where he teams up with far-future Batman to fight far-future Joker who has exploding water while protecting his secret identity from far-future Jimmy Olsen–except that he can be killed by a substance that covers three quarters of the planet.

 

 

41 thoughts on “Not Superman, but an Incredible Future Simulation!

  1. Well, now we know where M. Night Shamalyan got the plot for Signs.

    I don’t know about The Happening, though. That may actually be a plot too stupid for the Silver Age. (No, I didn’t see it.)

  2. I don’t know about The Happening, though. That may actually be a plot too stupid for the Silver Age.

    John Wyndham would like to have a quiet word with you.

  3. “That firecracker is exploding WATER!”

    For Superman of 3809, his only weakness will be the noise of whoopee cushions.

  4. I don’t know about The Happening, though. That may actually be a plot too stupid for the Silver Age. (No, I didn’t see it.)

    I’m pretty sure if you add Batman to The Happening you get the Swamp Thing invades Gotham story…

  5. Well, I can see why the Legion of Superheroes decided it was easier to travel a thousand years into the past rather than use their contemporary Superman.

  6. I’m pretty sure if you add Batman to The Happening you get the Swamp Thing invades Gotham story…

    A Batman story where nothing happens except a few lame plot twists? Sounds more like Hush.

  7. Looks like Klar Ken has some Tenctonese in his family tree.

    Too bad superheroes don’t work as hard at concealing their arbitrary weaknesses as they do their secret identities.

  8. I see in the future, capes are back in style. AGAIN. How gauche.
    Also, the graveyard scene leaves me wondering: Is Superman a hermaphrodite that asexually reproduces? I’m not seeing a Mrs. Supes gravestone…

  9. Can I just say that I’m disappointed in 30th Century Batman here? The guy has 1 job during these team-ups and that is to run interference when Superman’s weakness is exploited. Is 30th century Batman a freshwater turtle of some kind, who is also vulnerable to saltwater? Could he not manage to just stand next to Superman holding an umbrella?!?

    Bad show, Broo Sway N8008. Bad show.

  10. If I may, I’d like to make some adjustments to your opening paragraph.

    You can say a lot of things about Marvel in the past decade, but you can’t accuse them of being stingy with the Wolverine.

    Not just because Wolverinehimself was starring monthly in three comics of his own, plus Astonishing X-Men, Uncanny X-Men, New Avengers, Ultimate X-Men, and eventually X-Force, but because there were even different versions of the guy running around. Even putting aside X-23, and Daken, you had the standard model, the Avengers member, the X-Man, and the Weapon X version and the X-Force leader, who was presumably targeted at whatever degenerates were out there demanding more stories centering on Rob Liefeld’s body of work.

  11. That last picture of Supes wallowing in a puddle of dripping white liquid could totally be taken the wrong way if one were so inclined.

    I mean, I’m not, but someone could. Rule 34 and all.

  12. I just wanted to point out in that one panel, where Joker’s lighting a water-cracker? It looks like he gets his very own narration box that reflects what he’s thinking (“Cool!”).

  13. In that last picture it appears that the rolling black smoke is coming from Supes.. uh, bottom and the pained look he has is the result of the 2965 Tac Obel-L7734 he recently ingested

  14. So in 2965, Jack Palance will be reconstituted as the Joker, apparently.

    I see in the future, capes are back in style. AGAIN.

    They never went out, dahling.

  15. Alt-text – “[Brine] is apparently used as an industrial coolant…?”

    Brine is currently used as an industrial coolant.

  16. One of Superman’s lesser-known powers: he can regenerate like a Time Lord. He also has a working chameleon circuit on his Fortress of Solitude.

    Good thing the fire cops show up at the end. Must be tough to put out Superman, though. Quick, shoot him with more water! There’s whole tanks of the stuff just lying around here!

    PS – the J Jonah Jametron is pure win.

  17. Brine is currently used as an industrial coolant.

    After it’s been irradiated with atomic fallout that is deadly to Kryptonians?

  18. What are you, the EPA? Next you’ll be complaining about the rabid space gorillas at the help desk.

  19. Crap, I forgot to check here all day.

    John Wyndham would like to have a quiet word with you.

    Hey, I can buy a story about humanity being attacked and conquered by plants. But the grass suddenly deciding to release a neurotoxin that makes humans commit suicide? That’s where I get off.

  20. So, why does Superman III get the biggest statue? What’s he ever done that’s so important?

  21. Seems like M. Night also stole that for Unbreakable.

    Also:

    “Of course, the PW-5598 would fall out of favor by the 2970s, when it would be largely replaced with the J. Jonah Jametron. ”

    You sir, are my hero.

  22. That yellow guy is actually named Muto, Monarch of Menace.

    But all I can think of when I see him is an image of Supes flashing his heat vision and thinking:

    “I take away his weapons. BOTH OF THEM.”

  23. You know, “See No Evil, Hear No Evil” was a terrible movie. But it had both Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder in it, which makes it worth watching anyways.

  24. “Hey, I can buy a story about humanity being attacked and conquered by plants. But the grass suddenly deciding to release a neurotoxin that makes humans commit suicide? That’s where I get off.”

    It could be worse. Remember the Parasite Eve game? Where our mitochondria decide to revolt and overthrow human civilization.

    Vive la organelles!

  25. “If I may, I’d like to make some adjustments to your opening paragraph.

    You can say a lot of things about Marvel in the past decade, but you can’t accuse them of being stingy with the Wolverine.”

    That would make Chris look really stupid if he had used your paragraph as a lead in to the Superman story that followed.

  26. This is really dumb question, but who are all the previous Supermen (with the exception of Kal-El) mothers?

    Unless Lois a cast-iron immortal womb (which raises a lot of creepy incest scenarios), how is this Kryptonian DNA making its way down thru history?

    Like I said, really dumb question…

  27. So if he eats really salty peanuts or crackers and then washes it down with water, or really any drink at all, he’s totally boned?

    Suddenly Martian Manhunter’s brazen cowardice in the face of lit cigarettes seems so sensible.

  28. The fact that Jimmy Olsen met Hitler and there is no picture of J.O. punching said Fuhrer fills me with Not-Happiness.