And Now…
July 26, 2009 | Posted by Chris Sims …a little something… for the ladies.
Why is it that a look that works so well on Batman goes so terribly, terribly wrong for Spidey?
–Amazing Spider-Man #69
Categories: And Now..., Spider-Man | 
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I think it’s a combination of Spidey still wearing the gloves (whereas Batman didn’t) and the fact that Batman’s always at least showing his chin. Spidey’s not supposed to show any skin.
That answer is far too serious. Let’s try this:
It’s because BATMAN HAS THE ABS OF A GOD. Spider-Man has the abs of an Everyman who is impossibly ripped.
Chest hair, obviously.
Also, Peter Parker is a pale nerd.
Batman trained for years, so his shirtlessness is the result of an ongoing series of gradual improvements, eventually resulting in the well-toned chest.
Spider-Man, however, got bit by a spider and about a week later found out that his muscles were impossibly swollen.
It’s really just an elaborate metaphor for staying off steroids.
He looks like he’s wearing one of those sweatshirt things with fake muscles on them.
Is that Puck from Alpha Flight?
I think it’s a skinny teenage Bane.
Because he’s m*****-f*****’ Batman, that’s why!
Sorry; my inner Samuel L. Jackson got out there.
So, in addition to super strength, agility, the ability to climb walls, etc., being bitten by a radioactive spider gives you an extra set of man boobs. Okay.
Oh man, until I clicked the Batman link it didn’t even occur to me that Spidey was shirtless.
I mean, come on, these are superhero comics. Even with a shirt on, you can see that much muscle, and DAMN but is Peter Parker a pale man.
I thought Spidey was wearing a white sweater and jeans with his Spider-Man mask.
Because the artist sucks, obviously.
But as others have alluded to, I think it may have something to do with chest hair.
One has to wonder… if the nose on Bats’ cowl is particularly sharp or pointy. That could hurt.
Did the spiderbite take pete’s nipples away?
I’m not seeing any Spider-Nipple.
Apparently the day after his encounter with the spider, Peter was bitten by radioactive cookie dough.
Because the artist sucks, obviously.
Well, that’s John Romita Sr. up there.
So, no.
He looks exactly like an old Mego doll from the 70s with its shirt off.
So radioactive spider-bites also remove nipples, apparently.
I think it’s clearly Pete’s pasty nerd complexion that’s his downfall here. Clearly Batman, as a millionaire, can spend some of his time lounging by the pool by day, getting bronzed, unlike poor Spidey who’s gotta work and study all the time.
I think it’s the mask, looking right at the audiance. While normally the mask’s complete lack of feature-defining shadow and expressive eye-lenses go unnoticed by the reader, when it’s surrounded by proper anatomy (albeit child-friendly anatomy; children’s parents and guardians freak out over nipples) it draws attention to how uncanny the face is.
Also, Spidey’s a lot less barrel-chested with his shirt on. I’m guessing corset.
No navel either. Must be the Spider-Clone.
As yet unmentioned: the fact Bats has a sultry babe caressing his powerful manly body.BECAUSE NOTHING MAKES A MAN SEEM ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN MORE THAN WOMEN ALREADY FINDING HIM ATTRACTIVE.
“the fact Bats has a sultry babe caressing his powerful manly body”
Batman has that, the chest hair, and the fact that he’s not talking like a dork.
If you had told me Spider-Man looks terrible as a lucha libre wrestler, I wouldn’t have believed you. And I would’ve been wrong.
He totally looks like a Mexican wrestler.
Good God, that boy is pasty.
El Hombre Spidero Contra El Roboto Azteca!
“Kim Says:
Oh man, until I clicked the Batman link it didn’t even occur to me that Spidey was shirtless.”
Same. In fact, when I clicked on the Batman link, I figured it’d be a picture of Bats wearing a straightjacket.
phillyradiogeek has it right!
Sadly, shirtless, Mego-looking Spidey rocks no one. Hirsute Batman is the Marlboro man of comics.
Also, this panel didn’t look nearly as bad in the black and white Essentials tpb.
Batman’s body was chiseled from granite
Spiderman’s, apparently, from silly putty
Shirtless Batman’s BOW-CHICKA-WOW-WOW.
Whereas Shirtless Spider-Man’s more like BOW-CHICKA-WHINE-WHINE.
God damn that looks weird.
bookrats @16
Its Jim Mooney on pencils & inks not JR. On the other hand if I were drawn by Neal and inked by DickG I would look better than George Clooney.
Spider-Man appears to have a plucked uncooked chicken for a torso.
question: do many of `us’ look any better with our shirts off?
at least we have human anatomy, unlike action figure spidey.
Yes, Earl.
But I don’t really get the Mego remarks. It’s a well drawn shot, actually, just not a very typical angle, I suppose.
“Why is it that a look that works so well on Batman goes so terribly, terribly wrong for Spidey?”
Because Neal Adams, that’s why.
You know that was a interesting post. I think I’ll create a blog post and link to it.