56 thoughts on “Pop Quiz, Hotshot

  1. Since your reality is clearly being manufactured by Mike Grell, I’d say the lion is the one that should be worried.

  2. Thwarted, take to all fours and use your fearsome mane and formidable face-fuzz to mimic the lion, confusing it until it gives up out of frustration?

  3. The lion is that guys weapons caddy, right? And he’s just knocking the browd sword out of his hand to save the guy from embarassment because he’s entered in a duel of sabres? Am I right?

  4. It’s obvious that the lion is some kind of master of kung fu. Since it could have easily mangled the hand as it knocked away the sword we have to assume that the lion just wanted you unarmed.

    Of course the problem then is you are facing a lion that knows kung fu and are unarmed….

  5. Bare my chest to the lion.

    Since I cannot win against the lion’s kung fu, I can at least meet death bravely.

  6. well you need to grab the ropes and every time the lion hits you you shake the ropes a bit more till you’re super powered with rage and back to full strength, then maybe pound your chest and scream before you clothesline him.

  7. Look it directly in the eyes and tell the lion “It’s not your fault.”

    The lion won’t listen at first, so say it again in a firm yet tender voice. Repeat yourself again and again, approaching it slowly, until it finally breaks down crying in your arms. Hug it tightly and let the healing begin.

  8. I grab his mane, swing onto his back and ride him like a bronco.

    I’ll die, but what the hell. I rode a lion.

  9. Headbutt him to death.

    If that doesn’t work, bleed all over him cry like a baby until he gives up in disgust.

  10. First, don the glasses given to you by the Macho Man. Then, challenge the lion to go to the forests of his world where he should slice open his heart…

    Blood of the Warriors!

  11. Disarm the lion right back with my charm and wit.

    Then beat it to death with my shoe.

  12. Activate my watch to call Superman with the lion head. He is best for solving lion related issues.

  13. You growl menacingly and dig your teeth into the lion’s throat.

    At least, that’s what you would do…

    …if you were REX THE MOTHER FUCKING WONDER DOG.

    Wait, wrong blog.

  14. Scream “I’m a hemophiliac!” and when he lets you go, kick him in the back.
    And then when he’s lying down on the ground… kick him in the ribs; step on his neck; and run like hell.

  15. I guess I would just have to apologize for I said about the lion’s mother…

    -Citizen Scribbler

  16. Get down on my knees, plead with the lion, and when it gets within range gouge it in the eye with my thumb and steal its wife.

    WOOOOOOO!!!!

    /stylin & profilin

  17. Start running.

    Remember, you don’t have to outrun the lion; you just have to outrun your kid sidekick.

  18. Dwarf Fortress players agree: If at first you don’t succeed, gouge the fuck out of its eyes.

  19. Shoot it.
    Like Herr Starr before me, I have no intention of ever being unarmed.

  20. >Kill lion

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

    >Defeat lion

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

    >Fight lion

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

    > Go n

    THERE IS A LOCKED DOOR TO THE NORTH

    > Unlock door

    UNLOCK THE DOOR? WITH WHAT?

    > With the key

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

    > Unlock door with key

    YOU DON’T HAVE A KEY!!!!!!!

    > Open door

    THE DOOR IS LOCKED

    > Open window

    I DON’T SEE ANYTHING LIKE THAT HERE…

    > Open back door

    I DON’T SEE ANYTHING LIKE THAT HERE…

    > Open front door

    I DON’T SEE ANYTHING LIKE THAT HERE…

    > Pick lock

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

    > Bash lock

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

    > I give up

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

    > Just, fuck it, let the lion eat me, whatever

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

    > Would you just–!

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

    > Dude, seriously?

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

    A LION APPROACHES!
    A LION BITES YOU FOR 17 DAMAGE!

    WHAT DO YOU DO? > _

    > I don’t know

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

    > Fucking…would you just–

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

    A LION APPROACHES!
    A LION BITES YOU FOR 32 DAMAGE!
    YOU ARE BLEEDING!!!

    > Fuck this game, man! Just fuck this shit

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

    > Oh, I don’t know how to do that

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

    > Well, that’s just great.

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
    A LION APPROACHES!
    A LION BITES YOU FOR 46 DAMAGE!
    YOU ARE BLEEDING!!!
    YOU HAVE DIED!!!

    YOU WERE SLAIN BY A LION…

    RESTART? (Y/N)

    > n

    YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT