The Worst of Netflix: Fencer of Minerva

 

 

For my latest Worst of Netflix column at Heavy.com, I take on the charming sword-and-sorcery-and-bondage epic, Fencer of Minerva! It’s a tale of rape and romance in a vaguely European fantasy setting with tauntauns and flying piranha as only mid-90s anime could do it, and as you might expect, it is not very good.

So click on over and sit back as I watch terrible hentai so that you don’t have to.

12 thoughts on “The Worst of Netflix: Fencer of Minerva

  1. sarcastic sex is the first step towards hipsters having sex “ironically”. also? it’s exciting to know that Chris is a pretty foxy dude.

  2. “I watch terrible hentai so that you don’t have to.”

    Well maybe I WANT to watch terrible hent– oh wait – no I don’t.

    Although your phrasing suggests the possibility of ‘not terrible’ hentai, and I’m curious what you mean. Scared, but curious.

  3. I have had sarcastic sex. Or at least she was sarcastic. *shudder*
    my Creative Writing teacher made us read one of Anne Rice’s early fairy tale bondage stories. that was… weird

  4. Chris, your slamming the thing got me curious, so I went over to Netflix and watched the first 10 minutes or so via their stream. What an ordeal! Joe J., a “shit sandwich” doesn’t even begin to cover it. There’s gratuitous nudity in the opening (the main character strips off her bathrobe and stands fully exposed at a full-length window for no discernible reason), and this thing has the worst overdub in the history of anime! You wonder if any of the voice actors have ever acted before, and they deliver their lines as if they’re just waiting around for the next sexy bit.

    My brother, a self-described “movie snob” says there are bad overdubs and REALLY bad overdubs. This one’s beyond really bad. He also has what he calls the “5-minute test.” If a movie doesn’t hook you in the first 5 minutes, it’s probably not going to. This movie fails that test too.

    In short, I totally agree with your assessment. This thing sucks worse than your grandma’s old Hoover.

  5. Some gal pals and I watched this for a laugh many years ago. It is beyond terrible. The only thing worse than the voice acting is the terrible animation. There’s a part two, too, but I can’t remember anything that happened in it because I was laughing too hard to pay attention.

  6. This fencer guy, Minerva — is it more of a wooden post or chain link sort of thing? Are there privacy slats? And what if deer try to get in?

  7. Wow. I can telepathically GO BACK IN TIME and see the idea for this forming in the creator’s head.

    ‘Wow, that John Norman shit was hot, but way too much cock… hmmmmm…..’