Dracula Week Hits ComicsAlliance: Down For The Count!

You know, Marvel Comics would have you believe that there’s only one Lord of the Vampires…

 

 

…but really, there’s like 26.

Yes, his status as a public domain character means that he can be used in pretty much anything, and today on ComicsAlliance, Dracula Week rises from the grave to stalk a new land as I round up my favorite comic book Draculas, ranking them all by how Draculawesome they are!

Marvel Dracula’s in there of course–and ranked near the top for his tireless work in keeping the word “clod” in circulation–alongside Racist Dracula and the ill-fated Super-Hero Dracula, but there’s one version of Big D that sprang to mind that I didn’t include:

Dracula-That-Fought-Superman-That-One-Time Dracula

 

 

The reasons for his non-inclulsion are pretty simple–he only appeared the once in a story that is not very good–but there are a few notable things about him that are still worth mentioning, not the least of which is the pretty awesome Ed McGuinness cover that fools me every time into thinking that this issue is going to be totally awesome:

 

 

Unfortunately, this Jeph Loeb/Ian Churchill joint leaves quite a bit to be desired, though to be fair, it’s not entirely their fault. The issue comes from a weird, extremely forgettable time in the Superman books and seems rooted in bridging the previous storyline–the eminently disposable Our Worlds at War crossover–with the then-current buildup for Superman’s battle with one of the many General Zods, who this time ended up being a Russian clone of Superman in a power-suit or something. It was stupid, and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re better for it.

Point being, there’s a lot in this comic that detracts from the simple beauty that a story where Superman fights Dracula should’ve had. Not that the stuff is on topic is all that great either: The reveal that the mysterious Count Rominoff is in fact Dracula is played in-story as something of a surprise reveal despite the fact that the cover says “Superman vs. Dracula” in huge letters; Lois refuses to believe in vampires to the point where she tells her husband, the super-powered alien from space who hangs out with a Greek goddess and the king of Atlantis, that he’s being silly to even think of such things; and it builds to a last-page reveal of an all-new, all-different Creature Commandos…

 

 

….who were never seen again.

Plus, Lois decides it’s a good idea to dine with foreign dignitaries while wearing a sluttier version of Andre the Giant’s ring attire.

So where’s this allegedly neat idea I mentioned earlier? Well, unlike the Dracula of Red Rain (whose plan amounts to “Fight Batman and see how that works out for me”), this version has an idea that’s not half bad: He’s planning to take advantage of Superman’s weakness to magic to turn him into one of his thralls. Thus, he leads Lois Lane into his clutches by faking a news story, then puts her in danger, counting on Superman to save her because Superman always saves Lois Lane. Then, once that all happens, he hits him with the hypno-eyes.

All in all, not a bad plan. But as Superman is powered by the energy of Earth’s yellow sun, Dracula takes one bite…

 

 

…and his head explodes.

I gotta say, I still think that’s a pretty fun idea. It’s just a shame it’s in a story with all the rest of it.

50 thoughts on “Dracula Week Hits ComicsAlliance: Down For The Count!

  1. You can always tell when you’re reading a Chris Sims article when, somewhere in the text, there’s a mention of something exploding.

    In this case, it’s Dracula’s head, so that makes it double-strength Sims power.

  2. Hey, remember that time in RUNAWAYS when a vampire bit an alien powered by the sun and exploded?

    Good ideas continue to resurface.

  3. Speaking of double-strength Sims power, kudos for writing what amounts to a whole other ISB post on top of the Comics Alliance piece. Very cool.

    That sunlight-blood panel reminds me of the one where Baron Blood broke his teeth on Captain America’s chainmail, which was incredibly rad!

  4. Speaking of double-strength Sims power, kudos for writing what amounts to a whole other ISB post on top of the Comics Alliance piece. Very cool.

    Dracula Week comes but once a year. Or whenever I say. In either case, it’s a special occasion.

  5. Does anybody else suspect that the (awesome and hilarious) cliffhanger of Marvel Zombies 3 was directly inspired by that “The End…?” page?

  6. Damn that’s some crappy art there. was this the 90s?

    There was a pre-crisis Superman v. Vampire comic i once owned, which had this whole “superman is a VAMPIRE” cover – ie superman as a vampire, and then it turned out that in the book the vampire knocked superman out and STOLE HIS SHIRT AS A TROPHY TO WEAR, so it was just a vampire dressed as superman.

    ain’t it always the way?

  7. My own personal favorite vampire moment in a comic (Admittedly, not a Dracula moment)was John Constantine’s last encounter with the King of Vampires.

    Funny how the most absurdly funny scene in Ennis’ run is at the end of the most depressing storyline.

  8. While I can see the whole head asploding thing being unexpected (it’s not like Supes has raw sunbeams coursing through his veins), the whole idea of making a guy whose powers come from the sun your vampiric thug has a pretty big flaw in it from the outset.

  9. I’ve got a weird memory of another Superman v Dracula story, this time from the 90s in the post-Doomsday era. I don’t think it was specifically Dracula, and it was in Man of Steel so it had the weird art typical of the title at the time, but I remember it as being better than, well, this.

    Great cover, though.

  10. > NickNightingale Says:

    > Hey, remember that time in RUNAWAYS when
    > a vampire bit an alien powered by the
    > sun and exploded?

    > Good ideas continue to resurface.

    The amazing thing about this is that the Loeb story came first.

  11. 2 that I thought would be on the list

    Planetary’s Dracula who gets his balls kicked out by Snow

    and

    well I guess this counts under Mavel Version but Cap did decapitate a Dracula right? I wasn’t just dreaming that?

  12. “well I guess this counts under Mavel Version but Cap did decapitate a Dracula right? I wasn’t just dreaming that?”

    Not Dracula – since Marvel actually had a more-or-less regular Dracula character, they *couldn’t* outright call each of their vampire characters Dracula like DC is more than happy to do.

    As a result, Cap beheaded Baron Blood, not Dracula (who plays into Blood’s origin in some way that I can’t remember)

  13. Wait, Superman *was* once bitten by a vampire in a JLA arc, when Faith and Manitou Raven were on the team. This time he was under the vampire’s control.

    It’s in one of the JLA trades, don’t remember which one.

  14. Let me get this straight. Superman’s skin can repel bullets, yet it can be bitten into? Hmmm…

  15. BKV lifted that death scene, but advisedly left the rest – the key to recycling other people’s work is to only take what works, I guess.

    I recall actually being pumped for that era of Superman, as I’d just started a regular job and everyone was saying “Superman will be so boss now that they’ve ditched the guy who does him fighting giant robot lobsters!”, so I bought every single Superman book until the end of Worlds At War. To this day I remain convinced I was reading a different family of books than everyone else, because while the reviews were universally favorable, I seemed to be reading some kind of turgid, juvenile trash trying to convince the reader it was reinventing the wheel.

    I wish I’d read the stuff with the giant robot lobsters.

  16. I’m pretty sure there was a Dan Jurgens issue around Superman #70 or so in which Supes was bitten by a vampire who then went kafluey because of the sun thing. So I think Loeb was just reading back issues.

  17. I think I want to posit a law, that whenever a series that is named after the main character has a one-shot battle between said main character and Dracula, that one-shot is going to suck.

    I offer the BtVS s5 episode “Buffy Vs. Dracula” as another example of this law.

  18. I quite like “Buffy vs. Dracula.”

    Let me get this straight. Superman’s skin can repel bullets, yet it can be bitten into? Hmmm…

    Magic fangs, dogg.

  19. This is great; I would love to see ISB articles about ‘the one that didn’t make it’ as bonus features for the Comics Alliance articles, which might also help you to hook visitors pulled from over there.

  20. Buffy vs. Dracula was freakin’ fantastic, and anybody who says otherwise has no appreciation for good pastiche.

  21. While I can see the whole head asploding thing being unexpected (it’s not like Supes has raw sunbeams coursing through his veins), the whole idea of making a guy whose powers come from the sun your vampiric thug has a pretty big flaw in it from the outset.

    “Thrall” doesn’t necessarily mean Supes would be a vampire, I think. ‘Cause that would just be silly.

  22. McGuinness’s cover art should not in any way fool a person into believing the story inside is good since the word “LOEB” clearly appears on the cover. When the word LOEB appears on a cover you are blatantly being told the story will suck.

  23. …Goddamn, finally the Creature Commandos have a mummy and a gillman to round out the ranks, and they’re never seen again? Aw.

    And since the original Creature Commandos have appeared a few times since then (don’t know the details because I haven’t read those comics), I guess these guys aren’t around anymore. Aw.

  24. PS

    Though Marvel Dracula vs. Bueno Excellente — that would be a dream project.

    “Heh heh heh… Bueno….

  25. And if we’re opening this up to any great vampire death scene:

    Tommy Monaghan with a shotgun.

    A link to the ISB in the comments of the ISB?! OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

  26. I never get tired of writers who think “If I just spell Dracula’s name backwards and HOLY ROGET’S THESAURUS THAT’S TOTES AGATHAWESOME CHRISTACULAR!”*

    But I wish they’d use a little more elbow grease, y’know? Why stop at Al U. Card? As mom always said (before her tragic fatality), play for the fatality, Kenny Kombatant!

    Ex.: “My name is Dr. VonDusukürblud. Dr. Acula I. VonDusukürblud. Also, apropos to nothing, I’m a hematologist, specializing in necks and the veins within them.”

    Other proper applications: Dr. Frank N. Steinsmunster (obvious), Theo Bominabels Newman (less so), Guy Fromsaw (never watched it).

    *The adjective “Christacular” doesn’t mean what you think it means, Sims.

  27. A link to the ISB in the comments of the ISB?! OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

    Crap, he divided by zero, didn’t he?

  28. ‘Uh, Lord and Master, we’ve been researching this ‘Superman’ guy, and, well, we have some bad news…’

    ‘Vhat? Vell, out vith it. I have him right here, mesmerized. Just let me finsh ze job.’

    ‘NO! No, it’s his powers! He’s powered by PSTTTZZZZZZ.’

    ‘Powered by what? Lost carrier signals? I am Dracula!’ *BITE*

    ‘Master! Sunlight, Master!’

    ‘What do you mean, powered by SUNLIAAAAAIIIGH!’

  29. A link to the ISB in the comments of the ISB?! OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

    Huh. Usually, that only happens when I get him to say “Smissirhc”.

  30. Here’s a Dracula that wasn’t mentioned-

    Although he didn’t appear in comic books, the Superfriends went up against Dracula in their cartoons. And, let me tell you, it was pretty ridiculous- this Dracula had to take a deep, raspy breath between every line he spoke, so what you got was basically a winded, asthmatic Dracula who you felt sorry for more than anything else.

    -Citizen Scribbler

  31. There was one in Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends, too. It was a little off-model from the usual Marvel Dracula, so I’m not sure he was the same guy, but like MD, he had a bad case of atom fever, trying to make Firestar his undead bride the same way the comic one did to Storm. The cartoon was pretty lame, but he did have a private jet that turned into a giant bat while he was riding in it. This bat would land and everyone would disembark from a hatch in the bat’s side.

  32. “… he did have a private jet that turned into a giant bat while he was riding in it. This bat would land and everyone would disembark from a hatch in the bat’s side.”

    Even the comments on this site can leave me FREAKING OUT.

  33. Stephen might be remembering the JM L’Officier/Ladronn Superman story where they reimagine Jack Kirby’s Transilvane and Count Dragorin. Or perhaps something else…

  34. How could you not mention that superhero Dracula’s sidekick’s real name is “B.B. Beebe?”  That would, in fact, be pronounced as bee-bee-bee-bee.

    The writers were obviously aware of the quality of the work they were engaged in.

  35. Listen to this week’s episode of Ajax. It’s almost like I was saving it for somewhere where I wouldn’t have to write out how it was pronounced.

  36. This is all the wrong kind of nitpicking even for a geek, I know. But I don’t much like the excessive emphasis in the post-Byrne world of Superman as seething with sunlight. He’s not Sun Boy. (See also any use of heat vision in which it acts like sunlight, e.g. vs Eclipso.)

    The sunlight gets converted to flesh and blood and mammalian warm-blooded energy, just like food does. In most vampire fiction, having eaten a garlicky meal at some point in one’s life doesn’t repel vampires; having drunk holy water is never a defense. This seems silly to me.

    I mean, even by the standards of superheroes fighting vampires.