Warrior Wisdom Fridays #6

 

 

As a service to our readership, each installment of Warrior Wisdom Fridays will provide an inspirational (and actual) quote from the Ultimate Warrior so that those who read it may take it to heart and reflect on how it may improve their lives. Installments of WWF should be accompanied by fifteen to twenty minutes of meditation and reflection, aided by soft music or strong herbal tea.

9 thoughts on “Warrior Wisdom Fridays #6

  1. HOAKOGAN!

    Man, I’ve got nothing against El Santo, but I missed having my weekly dosage of HOAKOGAN proclamations. I must be developing an addiction to Warrior Poison!

  2. So is he saying here that HE’S the evil Hulk Hogan’s immune system fears? Or is it just his Ultimate Warrior poison juice? But if it is, doesn’t that make the Ultimate Warrior evil? If it does, then why would he expect Hulk Hogan to want to become like him? Especially since Hulk Hogan apparently fears him?

    And if he IS the Ultimate Warrior, then why would he assume anyone would suppose he needed the “normals” to protect him from anything? Especially if he’s injecting people with his poison juice – doesn’t that mean people need protecting from him?

    I’m sorry, Ultimate Warrior, but sometimes, you just don’t make all that much sense.

  3. So wait, is Warrior Poison a positive thing in this context or is it bad or is…I don’t…

  4. Philosophy question for the day:

    Morally, is:

    ULTIMATE WARRIOR

    gooder

    or

    not gooder

    than

    BANE in Secret Six?

    (Theology students: An answer of “equally not gooder” will be dealt with harshly.)

  5. I’m not from the US, so my understanding of the complex Ultimate Warrior personality comes from Warrior Wisdom Fridays alone (and it’s often not that helpful).

    So help me out folks. From this installment I get that the Ultimate Warrior is evil and he injected Hulk Hogan (in his sleep? was it consensual?) with the minimum dosage of UW Poison (out of mercy? was he trying to avoid HH overdosing on UW Posion? is there such thing as a recommended UW Poison dosage?) because he wanted HH to become a better warrior (but isn’t poisoning supposed to weaken/injure/kill people? he wanted to fight a handicapped HH? how would it help HH become the warrior he said he was? WHAT IS THE POINT???)

    So yeah, I didn’t really get it.

  6. Warrior poison, when injected into the bloodstream in the properly alloted doses recommended by the USDA, causes the person injected with the poison to become one the Warrior’s spirit of destrucity. It has been described as an enlightening experience, akin to putting on facepaint and shoving Sean Mooney across a room while shouting about how the heavens how ordained you as their anointed crusader in an earth-shaking battle in which the only power you can rely on is what you draw into yourself through your followers. The Ultimate Warrior demands that Hulk Hogan accept the Warrior poison and embrace the power of destrucity so that he can know he will fight Hulk Hogan on equal ground since he doubts that the power of Hulkamania can match up to the power of destrucity in a wrestling match.

    The power behind the Warrior’s statement is that he says it in so few words, and without proper punctuation (destrucity has no time for commas or semicolons, apparently).