The Worst of Netflix: Kinky Killers



This week on, I continue my Halloween sampling of one-star slasher flicks with an All-New Worst of Netflix: Kinky Killers!

Originally titled Polycarp and clearly retitled to attract viewers based on the strength of its two reasonably terrible sex scenes, Kinky Killers bills itself as a psychological thriller despite the fact that it doesn’t thrill so much as amble around trying desperately–and failing–to make its viewers care about serial murders until it suddenly turns into witches at the end. As you might expect, it is not very good, but now that I’ve seen it, I’m pretty confident that I’ll never find an actor more ill-suited to a sex scene. And yes: A picture is included in the article.


10 thoughts on “The Worst of Netflix: Kinky Killers

  1. What really makes this worse is that Charles Durning, he of a Silver Star, three Purple Hearts, one of the first to storm Omaha Beach, fought in the Battle of the Bugle…is stuck in this piece of crap. Hopefully for only one scene.

  2. If you’re looking for an actor ill-suited to a sex scene–not to mention a sex scene ill-suited to reality–then you need to find “Shatter Dead.” It will change your life. In the “thousand-yard stare” kind of way.

    Somehow it has a 1.9-star rating on Netflix. This is prime evidence of the existence of masochists.

  3. Wasn’t Michael Pare kind of a legitmate actor at some point? I can’t think of any other reason why I would know his name.

  4. I saw a movie a zillion years ago with Pare in it. He was having a pickaxe fight with Willem Dafoe. And this was no ordinary “shit jumps off between two old-timey gold prospectors” pickaxe fight, either. They were standing on a car and Dafoe had a hairstyle like Misfits-era-Glenn Danzig. Naturally, at the time, I thought Pare was at the start of a long, exciting film career. Funny old world.

  5. Michael Pare was Tom Cody, the ex-boyfriend and rescuer of Ellen Aim (Diane Lane) in Streets of Fire.

  6. Charles Durning is a class act; his song-and-dance number in Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is a treat.

    We’ll forgive him this one.

  7. PS

    Given ISB demographics, I suspect Michael Pare is most familiar as a semi-regular on The Greatest American Hero; he played the leader of the “tough kids” in Ralph Hinkley’s class.

    “Yo, Mr. H.”