20 thoughts on “Shocking News From the Fortress of Solitude!

  1. Okay, but what I truly want to see is the epic showdown between an obese Superman and the personification of his unhealthy eating habits!

    No, wait, that would be totally lame.

  2. Just wait until Supergirl finds out they’ve discontinued chocolate Cherry Garcia frozen yogurt.

  3. Obviously, NBC denied his application for to be an American Gladiator on the grounds that he is, in fact, an illegal alien with no work visa.

  4. Dammit, I’m trying to remember that Simpsons quote with the “Ribwich,” something about the animal being slaughtered for it with lots of legs went extinct? It would’ve been funnier if I had the actual quote.

  5. Krusty: Look… about the rib-wich… There aren’t gonna be any more… The animal we made them from are now extinct…

    Homer: The pig?

    Otto: The cow?

    Krusty: You’re way off… think smaller… think more legs!

    Crowd: Ewww…