30 thoughts on “Star Jaws! Act Two

  1. You forgot the most important thing:

    Doombots with matching helmets and tunics.

    Also, “Baldy-locks”. Man, no wonder she went evil. How can one person expect to live that down?

  2. I’m going to start calling people “Baldy-locks”, even if they’re not bald…

    Heck, especially if they’re not bald.

  3. Because really: If there’s one thing better than Super Stories Jonah Jameson, it’s Super Stories Doom.

    Super Stories Space Lesbians?

  4. it’s sam the robot, isn’t it? oh childhood you come back to me whenever i call – how could i stay mad at you?

  5. The Spidey Super Stories Von Doom is quite the happy camper, isn’t he?

    Maybe his Mom isn’t in Hell in this multiverse.

  6. Maybe his Mom isn’t in Hell in this multiverse.

    Probably just Purgatory, I’m thinking.

  7. Has there ever been any story written by the hand of man that would not be improved by adding “Then DR. DOOM showed up!” at the halfway point?

    Think of the great classics — Hamlet, Moby-Dick, any given Dostoyevksy or Faulkner. Even the legends of Gilgamesh would get a real shot in the arm from a Dr. Doom cameo.

  8. Of all the silly things to look at in these beautiful panels, I can’t get over how the robot—the ROBOT—says, “Gasp!” Just picture a robot gasping.

  9. >>>Think of the great classics — Hamlet, Moby-Dick, any given Dostoyevksy or Faulkner.

    Or The Bible…imagine Vic showing up just in time to prevent Jesus from walking on water, delivering a key sermon, or curing the blind?

    Don’t tell me Doom hasn’t pondered doing so at least once on a boring Saturday night.

    His imagination is just that uppity.

  10. “Or The Bible…imagine Vic showing up just in time to prevent Jesus from walking on water, delivering a key sermon, or curing the blind?”

    I would drop this atheism business in a second if Doom showed up while Mephisto was tempting Christ.

  11. According to the one-page origin recap from SSS #16:

    “I’m Victor, but everyone calls me Doctor Doom! I’m really mad… because my mom is in Hell!”

  12. Well, that explains his character motivation now, doesn’t it?

    I mean, who wouldn’t grow up all tyrannical and pissed off (especially at God) with a childhood like that?

  13. I now have definitive info (from an unnamed source):

    In the Spidey Super Stories multiverse, Victor Von Doom’s mother is trapped in….

    …Six Flags over Texas.

  14. As far the best issue, this was pretty good, but what about issue where the word “HONK” is directly out of Spidey’s backside?

    Or the one where the one of kids is picked up and slammed against the curb so hard the SFX is “SMOOSH”?

  15. Wait, even in the Electric Company universe, Doom’s mother is in Hell? So much for PBS being a bastion of the liberal media.

    Today’s show is brought to you by the concepts of Retribution and Hopelessness and the number Infinity.

  16. Doom knows that the first step to world conquest is perfecting the art of snaps.

    “Spidey, your aunt’s so loose, half your rogue’s gallery has banged her!”

    Wait, that one’s actually kinda true.

  17. So was SSS supposed to be in continuity or was it something like the modern Marvel Adventures books?

  18. Seth: Spidey Super Stories was definitely out of continuity – they were just kid-oriented stories.

    Morgan: ROTFLMAO

    Y’know I love Happy Pants Doom. I would like to see Priest write a comic about him.

  19. Sam the robot’s diction has improved a lot since Sesame Street. Come to think of it, Spidey’s a lot more articulate than he was on Electric Company too.