The Worst of Netflix: Time Runner
December 6, 2009 | Posted by Chris Sims
For kids of a certain generation, Mark Hamill taught us a lot. He taught us that sometimes old men that your parents warn you to stay away from are pretty cool to hang out with, and that it’s okay to make out with your sister now and again if she’s as hot as coked-up Carrie Fisher. And in 1992, he taught us that sometimes you accidentally spend all your Star Wars money on pure Colombian blow and need to take a job in a straight-to-video ripoff of Terminator until that Batman: The Animated Series voice acting check comes in.
Hence: Time Runner.
An all-new Worst of Netflix: Time Runner! New today on Heavy.com.
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13 Comments »
I see Hamill’s using the exact same “the Trickster is pissed” expression for the poster shot of Time Runner.
“Count Alucard, meet John Neila. Together, you shall be: Maet Live!”
I’m E.T. Neila, an I approved this message.
Speaking of names, you should check the byline on the piece, Chris. It looks like it was accidentally credited to someone named Kaythor Jensen, who I think fought Highlander.
Oh man, I remember this movie…even the original Terminator movie had better production values.
You forgot the part about doing the full-motion video and voice-over segments to one of the Wing Commander games, with Biff from “Back to the Future” as your insufferable wingman and a giant tiger muppet as a costar.
It was a LOT of pure Columbian blow, apparently.
MY BRILLIANT PLAN TO STEAL CREDIT FOILED.
Fixed.
You forgot the part about
SOTBChris.jpg
Nightfly: Those (a) had a higher budget and (b) were a lot better than movies like this.
Didn’t Hammill do a Guyver movie at one point as well? I’d hate to think what would have happened to the guy if Tim Curry hadn’t been so shitty as the Joker.
Man, I love that picture. It’s like every time you post it, a little piece of your soul falls off and dies. It’s delicious. Delicious like fried ice cream.
Well, between being Luke Skywalker and being one of if not the BEST Joker there’s ever been, I’m willing to give Hamill a pass for stuff like this.
And that kick-ass greasy mustache doesn’t hurt either.
I wonder if you’re going to wind up covering every low budget genre movie I vaguely remember watching on cable in my misspent youth. Because that would be awesome.
Oh, so that’s the fried ice cream picture. I had a feeling that it didn’t really have anything to do with One Nation Under a Groove by Funkadelic.
Actually, Mark Hamill’s set for life. He got a piece of the merchandising rights to Star Wars as part of his original contract (it’s something like 1%, but Star Wars is a multi-billion dollar business now…) and the first thing he did with it was buy a house and pay off the mortgage. He’d never have to work a day in his life again if he didn’t want to.
No, if you see Mark Hamill in a movie like this, it’s because he actually thought it would be good. I’m not sure if that doesn’t make me feel even more sorry for him, though. :)
Cheered that, even in the future, there is recognition for the bad-assery of CHIPS sunglasses.