It’s an All-New Worst of Netflix, and brother, is this one a doozy:
When you’re contractually obligated to watch as many bad movies as I am, you start to build a mental checklist of what pushes something over the line into the realm of the truly awful. Writer-directors who star in their own movies, direct-to-video franchise sequels, these are bad signs, but this week’s movie? It is the Worst of Netflix perfect storm: An Asylum Films knockoff of a remake of a Roger Corman picture that stars the Insane Clown Posse and professional wrestler Scott “Raven” Levy.
If it had David Heavener and a couple of racist puppets, I could retire, secure in the knowledge that no movie could ever top it.
The Worst of Netflix on Heavy.com: When you care enough to send the very best.
Vaginal Holocaust?
It must be mine!
So do you think you’ll be this generation’s Joel Hodgson, or Mike Nelson?
As an aside, how are you finding Mass Effect 2? I’ve been enjoying it quite a bit.
Ok, Team Vaginamyte is an awesome name.
“[…] which means there actually might be someone for whom Death Racers is not the low point of their career.”
You mean “being in the Insane Clown Possy” doesn’t count?
heh heh heh – Vaginamite is what we in Australia used to call Vegemite when we were kids. High humour indeed. And why in the wide world of sports did you pass up Vaginal Holocaust for this one?
Heavy.com hasn’t updated your archive since Pocahauntus. What’s up with that?
“If it had David Heavener and a couple of racist puppets, I could retire, secure in the knowledge that no movie could ever top it.”
Top, of course, being a relative term.
Even reading about this alleged “film” sapped my will to live. You’re a tougher man than I.
I love Asylum’s incredibly blatant approach to marketing. They’ve got a movie called “The Day the Earth Stopped”. Slick!
Those guys are hilarious. Unlike their movies, which are awful. I hear their Sherlock Holmes ripoff (boringly entitled “Sherlock Holmes”) has a guy in an Iron Man suit!
May I recommend Deathrace 2000 – with David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone (pre Rocky). This movie is the origin of “point scoring” for homocidal driving. Very silly, but kind of fun.
May I recommend Deathrace 2000 – with David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone (pre Rocky). This movie is the origin of “point scoring†for homocidal driving. Very silly, but kind of fun.
You mean I should watch the movie I reference twice in the article and explicitly say this is a knockoff of?
I’ll get right on that.
Damn, I actually want to see Deathracers now.
“You mean I should watch the movie I reference twice in the article and explicitly say this is a knockoff of?
I’ll get right on that.”
After that, you should watch “Death Race” with Jason Statham!
As much as I love Raven, and as much as he seems like a serial killer at the best of times, it might have not been the best idea for him to shoot a movie at a time when a thyroid problem caused him to balloon up like…well, like a fat guy who mostly wears Sandman tee-shirts, as if that wasn’t terribly redundant.
Also- I’m totally going to get “Team Vaginamyte” tee-shirts made up for my friend Diane and her girlfriend.
This was one of the lamest movies I have ever watched. I used to to listen to only pschopathic records, and this is a good example as why my taste in music is changing.
Man, J, Shaggy. You’re in your thirties and you are more immutare than I am. What the hell?
You are glorifying bullsh^%. Is that what you want to teach kids? You’re garbage.