From Savage Sword of Conan v.3, where it is revealed that the best way to impress a girl is by fighting a yeti. It’s a fact.
20 thoughts on “Conan the Barbarian: Last of the True Romantics”
I’m making this into a valentine for next year.
I fought a yeti once. The lady in question dumped me anyway. Turned out the yeti was her mother, so in retrospect I was probably well out of that one.
The girl looks enjoying the second panel more. Im not sure if that’s wierd or not. Thoughts?
For an era with no sewage system or running water, the Hyperborean Age sure produced a lot of attractive women. Everywhere Conan goes, even in the middle of a frozen tundra or desert waste, he always finds a hot chick.
And a slavering tentacle beast of course. Still, that man knew how to live life.
She doesn’t seem exactly thrilled with either experience. In the first one she seems to be going “My God, look at those eyebrows!” And in the second one she’s like “Oh no! I just remembered I left the gas on!”
I don’t think Conan understood the point of all those sexual harassment seminars.
Why does Conan look like a zombie and dress like a jester in this story? Were the Zuagir known for their bell-caps and curly shoed battle battle regalia?
Conan – my Mogadon and hey nonny-nonny wilderness years.
Still looks like he’s trying to burp the young lady rather than spank her though.
Too weird. I just watched Conan last night. Then again, I watch that often.
Regular viewing of Conan is essential to maintaining the proper levels of masculinity.
In an emergency you can use Commando as a stopgap, but only if you recite all of Bennett’s dialogue along with him.
Man, was Conan embarrassed when it turned out that he didn’t grab the right woman, but just a random Zuagir groupie by mistake. “By Crom, woman, why didn’t you SAY anything?” “Because you were too busy sticking your tongue down my throat and then spanking me, that’s why you dumbass!”
Commando is why Jeph Loeb was put on this Earth.
Why is he still here, then?
I mean, maybe he should go back to his home planet. That’s what I was implying.
And here I thought that Teen Wolf was the reason. (I just discovered, to my surprise, that I own a Loeb-penned picture on dvd. It’s okay, though, because it’s Burglar.)
The first Conan is the only Conan film, though. Very important to remember this.
I mean, I love Roy Thomas like a brother (that I’ve never met, and have only seen through high-powered binoculars from afar) but… Conan the Adventurer was the weaker of the two, by far.
Everywhere Conan goes, even in the middle of a frozen tundra or desert waste, he always finds a hot chick.
This is a Quantum Property of Conan. Previously, there were no hot chicks in the area, but as soon as he enters the vicinity, lo, one appears. And it is as if she was *always* there, with a backstory and everything. Its the same principle behind Johnny Bravo, and Axewulf groupies.
AxeWülf was tapped to do the soundtrack to Conan 3, but then the project was scrapped and they ended up doing the music for Dolph Lundgren’s little-known Italian feature Fratelli delle Coscie del Ferro
What’s Coscie? Do you mean cosce? That’d be funny and kind of Dolph Lundgrenesqu I suppose, though Id rather not think about his thighs too much. Or coste? Not quite as funny. Or is you italian just better than mine? Pity about the soundtrack either way.
Anyone else think Conan looks like Nathan Explosion in that second panel?
From her expression, I posit:
Conan, in his cups, has confused Conan Damsel #1,712 with some girl that he’s never met before.
Still, if she’s smart, she’ll play along. (“My boyfriend beats up yetis!”)
I’m making this into a valentine for next year.
I fought a yeti once. The lady in question dumped me anyway. Turned out the yeti was her mother, so in retrospect I was probably well out of that one.
The girl looks enjoying the second panel more. Im not sure if that’s wierd or not. Thoughts?
For an era with no sewage system or running water, the Hyperborean Age sure produced a lot of attractive women. Everywhere Conan goes, even in the middle of a frozen tundra or desert waste, he always finds a hot chick.
And a slavering tentacle beast of course. Still, that man knew how to live life.
She doesn’t seem exactly thrilled with either experience. In the first one she seems to be going “My God, look at those eyebrows!” And in the second one she’s like “Oh no! I just remembered I left the gas on!”
I don’t think Conan understood the point of all those sexual harassment seminars.
Why does Conan look like a zombie and dress like a jester in this story? Were the Zuagir known for their bell-caps and curly shoed battle battle regalia?
Conan – my Mogadon and hey nonny-nonny wilderness years.
Still looks like he’s trying to burp the young lady rather than spank her though.
Too weird. I just watched Conan last night. Then again, I watch that often.
Regular viewing of Conan is essential to maintaining the proper levels of masculinity.
In an emergency you can use Commando as a stopgap, but only if you recite all of Bennett’s dialogue along with him.
Man, was Conan embarrassed when it turned out that he didn’t grab the right woman, but just a random Zuagir groupie by mistake. “By Crom, woman, why didn’t you SAY anything?” “Because you were too busy sticking your tongue down my throat and then spanking me, that’s why you dumbass!”
Commando is why Jeph Loeb was put on this Earth.
Why is he still here, then?
I mean, maybe he should go back to his home planet. That’s what I was implying.
And here I thought that Teen Wolf was the reason. (I just discovered, to my surprise, that I own a Loeb-penned picture on dvd. It’s okay, though, because it’s Burglar.)
The first Conan is the only Conan film, though. Very important to remember this.
I mean, I love Roy Thomas like a brother (that I’ve never met, and have only seen through high-powered binoculars from afar) but… Conan the Adventurer was the weaker of the two, by far.
Everywhere Conan goes, even in the middle of a frozen tundra or desert waste, he always finds a hot chick.
This is a Quantum Property of Conan. Previously, there were no hot chicks in the area, but as soon as he enters the vicinity, lo, one appears. And it is as if she was *always* there, with a backstory and everything. Its the same principle behind Johnny Bravo, and Axewulf groupies.
AxeWülf was tapped to do the soundtrack to Conan 3, but then the project was scrapped and they ended up doing the music for Dolph Lundgren’s little-known Italian feature Fratelli delle Coscie del Ferro
What’s Coscie? Do you mean cosce? That’d be funny and kind of Dolph Lundgrenesqu I suppose, though Id rather not think about his thighs too much. Or coste? Not quite as funny. Or is you italian just better than mine? Pity about the soundtrack either way.
Anyone else think Conan looks like Nathan Explosion in that second panel?
From her expression, I posit:
Conan, in his cups, has confused Conan Damsel #1,712 with some girl that he’s never met before.
Still, if she’s smart, she’ll play along. (“My boyfriend beats up yetis!”)