Parenting With the Time Trapper
June 14, 2008 | Posted by Chris Sims
Let this be a lesson: When a faceless man in a tattered robe tells you something is candy, it is probably not candy.
Categories: Legion of Super-Heroes | 
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15 Comments »
Oh man. I hate DC Silver Age baby-talk. It grates on me like nothing else.
There’s a frightening similarity between DC Silver Age baby talk and Frank Miller dialogue.
This am not candy! Candy don’t shiv!
I really, really want to repeat the hooded figure’s speech to my girlfriend.
I thought Trappy’s robe was kinda floppy, but not tattered -maybe I’m thinking of a different era.
Worst LSH diction I remember was at the awful, post-TMK conclusion of the Five Years Later Legion, when Cos turned into the Time Trapper and suddenly started talking Villainese: “It matters not.” Bloody nass.
O-kay.
Let’s review – Hate-Face, naturally evolved buzzsaws, and Lil’ Legionnaires tearfully licking not-candy as the Time Trapper waits for them to turn into slime.
You’re doing a hell of a sales job on that Legion Showcase edition, y’know.
I know I’m jumping on the third rail here, but I think you’ve really discovered the way to make me like the Legion of Super-Heroes: showing a few out-of-context panels at a time. Hot and cold running reboots and a larger cast than all of the X-books put together? Man, that just seems a lot like work. Spies living in people’s ankles and Legion Babies licking slime-gems? Absolutely brilliant.
Gosh! This is just like Easter morning at my house!
The next time someone asks me why we decided not to have children, I’m referring them to this page.
Did they turn into slime?
Heh..heh..now climb into my spaceship and help me find my lost space-puppy…I’m a friend of your Mom’s…there’s more candy inside…
I think Trappy probably owns an icecream truck as well.
I kind of love how Silver Age babyspeak so resembles the way you would see any generic neanderthal or caveman speak.
-M
I like how Silver Age babyspeak is more or less identical to Bizzaro-speak.
So the creepy dude is having children lick the balls that aren’t candy until the slime appears?
Ok then.
Bizarro speak, caveman talk… or the first language born of teh intertubes?
“I made you a candy… but it changeded you into teh slime.”
LOLcaterwauling
If only you hadd published this last week…
So cold, just sooo coooold…