Wrestler Wisdom Fridays #19

 

 

Each week, the ISB endeavors to enlighten our readers by offering the unedited words of the Warrior Scholars of the squared circle, for who among us cannot benefit from the wisdom of Macho Madness, Hulkamania, or the American Dream? The instruction we offer should be considered carefully, meditated on, and applied to one’s own life for the enrichment of the self and others.

11 thoughts on “Wrestler Wisdom Fridays #19

  1. Hey, gout’s a perfectly acceptable excuse to lose to that young knockout kid.

  2. He had GOUT?! Who gets gout? Was he wrestling with a giant tub of chopped liver? Is he 85 years old and wrestling his pants up above his nipples? If you’re going to make up a disease, why not go for a cool one, like Mad Cow Disease? Was his fever caused by a surfeit of humours?

  3. Hey man, gout is still around now. I had it last year, and it hurt like a bitch. Apparently, the usual causes are too much booze (unlikely for the Punker) or too much meat in the diet.

  4. Know what I love about CM Punk? He’s the only wrestler around nowadays who has fans who will actually get angry at you if you suggest that he doesn’t really live his gimmick. If you think Kane is really Undertaker’s brother they’ll laugh at you, but if you say you saw CM Punk drinking a beer they will get seriously pissed.

    I also love that CM Punk has the Snake Eyes/ Storm Shadow tattoo on his forearm.

  5. Gout. Iodine (Iodum) Treatment
    In chronic forms of gout the iodide will often relieve, as remarked by Mr. Spencer Wells, who recommends 1 or 2 gr. thrice daily, well diluted with water or seltzer water. In some cases the tincture acts better.

    In the late 1920s, the South Carolina Natural Resources Commission began a public relations campaign to advertise the high iodine levels found in fruits and vegetables grown in the state. Even South Carolina milk was promoted as containing extraordinarily high levels of iodine. Promotional tracts sought to expand the national market for South Carolina produce by warning midwestern and west coast residents of the consequences of iodine deficiency in the young, including enlarged thyroids, mental and physical birth defects, and even sterility. The campaign placed the motto “Iodine” on South Carolina automobile license plates in 1930, then expanded the phrase in subsequent years to “The Iodine State” and “The Iodine Products State.” Columbia radio station WIS took its call letters to promote the “Wonderful Iodine State.” Even lowcountry moonshiners around Hell Hole Swamp jumped on the iodine bandwagon, advertising their brand of liquid corn with the slogan: “Not a Goiter in a Gallon.”

  6. Yeah, I know he used to be, but I have my doubts as to whether he still is. I have no proof or even any compelling evidence other than the fact that calling yourself “Straight Edge” as you enter your thirties makes you kind of a tool even if you don’t drink or do drugs.

  7. I’m going to guess his definition of “drug” gets a little more lax the older he gets.

  8. Given that he has “STRAIGHT EDGE” and “DRUG FREE” tattoos all over his body, he’s either legit straight edge or remarkably committed to his gimmick. If you haven’t touched anything up until your thirties you’re probably not going to.