The Worst of Netflix: Tales From The Crapper



Inspired by a conversation with Matt Singer on last week’s Ajax, the Worst of Netflix takes on quite literally the worst movie I have ever seen in a quadruple-sized spectacular!

According to Singer, Tales from the Crapper came about when a producer who was given money to make two feature-length Troma films came back with two completely unrelated – and, needless to say, absolutely terrible – forty-minute short films. The only thing they had in common was that adult film actress Julie Strain (star of 2001’s Sex Court: The Movie) was in both, and for Troma, that was enough of a reason to stitch them together as a 98-minute anthology hosted by studio co-founder Lloyd Kaufman. And what’s more, even the staff at Troma realized how thoroughly unwatchable the movies were, so the combination into one film was accompanied by production staff and interns overdubbing the soundtracks with new voices and other dubious “improvements.”

More than anything else, that’s what piqued my interest: A movie so bad that even Troma thought it was abysmal? This, I had to see.

Like I said, this one ended up being huge, with so many screenshots of the alarmingly star-studded cast that it had to be broken up over four pages. Essentially, it’s the Worst of Netflix Season Finale: A movie so unbelievably bad that I’m taking next week off to recover.

So enjoy it! Lord knows I didn’t!

14 thoughts on “The Worst of Netflix: Tales From The Crapper

  1. After reading your review, I feel like I just sat down in a puddle of cold urine on a subway seat. I can only imagine what experiencing the movie was like.

  2. “Eventually, the movie ends”
    That is straight up Raymond-Carveresque.
    Of course I’m assuming you drank Raymond-Carveresque amounts of alcohol to get through this film.

  3. Wait, was Julie Strain the star of “Hellcats in High Heels 3” or just her labia?

  4. Fnordd, I think the fact that you even have to ask the question is pretty much answer enough.

  5. I still find it amazing that Kevin Eastman’s version of “a good idea” is to cash out of the Ninja Turtles, buy Heavy Metal Magazine, and marry Julie Strain.

  6. Not even Ron Jeremy.

    I think you could have started the whole review with this little factoid.

    I can believe that a movie could be gawd-awful, but so bad that it didn’t live up to the high standards Ron Jeremy has to place his name on a production? That’s … just wrong. I’m not sure I want to share a universe with a movie like that.

  7. Chris, reading this article gave me a contact hangover. I am so sorry for you, bro.

  8. Well, if you look at Tundra’s output, there weren’t a lot of “good ideas” there either.

  9. Huge Troma fan but even I cannot excude the wretchedness of this film. The saddest thing is at the very least Eli Roth & Trey Parker did the film for free. Actually, the saddest thing is that Ron Jeremy and Ted Raimi thought it was a legit gig.

  10. Wait, were you implying at the end of the article that there is a right end of an elephant to stick your head in?

  11. I remember seeing a trailer for this at the Alamo Drafthouse (West Houston) in 2003 or 04 before free anime night or somesuch special presentation. The movie looked pretty lousy, but it was being promoted more as a live event–Lloyd Kaufman in attendance, some kind of bullshit “interactive experiment”, etc.–than on the merits of the movie. It all sounded like hogwash, but at the time I thought it had to at least be a fun evening out.

    Boy am I glad now that I couldn’t convince anyone to go with me.

  12. Just reading the description of the film makes me feel like I need to take a shower.

    As for Julie Strain, you have to kind of feel sorry for her. I mean, how would you like to live the rest of your life knowing that the films you did with Andy Sedaris will probably be known as your best work?