Okay, kids: It’s Confession Time.
Despite the fact that I’ve known about it for more than a couple of years, I don’t actually read The Adventures of Dr. McNinja on a regular basis. I realized the first time I saw it that while every page was worth seeing, Christopher Hastings and Kent Archer were telling stories that would just read better in big chunks, and so after I read the initial story of Dr. McNinja’s battle against Paul Bunyan’s disease, I filed it away as something to come back to later and blow through in one shot.
And then I promptly got distracted by… I don’t know, putting together a run of Power Man and Iron Fist or something. You know how I am. Point is, I never got around to reading it until I saw Kent Archer at HeroesCon and picked up the first two trades. What can I say? It’s just another example of my weird desire to pay for things that I could read for free on the Internet, and as someone who writes things for free on the Internet, I’m fully aware of the irony here.
But that doesn’t matter, because it turns out that that purchase was probably the best thirty bucks I’d ever spent, because this…
…is the most awesome thing I have ever read.
And that’s not to say that the first volume isn’t great; it’s pretty much non-stop awesome and even includes references to Fitness Celebrity John Basedow, but the second one… man.
For those of you unfamiliar with the premise–and at this point, I’m pretty sure I’m the last person to write about it–here’s the short version:
Dr. McNinja is a doctor who is also a ninja, and is therefore torn between his need to heal and his need to kill. He has a gorilla receptionist named Judy, a dinosaur named Yoshi, and by the end of the first trade, he’s got a kid sidekick named Gordito who grew a moustache through sheer force of will.
And this is his dad, Dan:
When the second volume picks up with a story called D.A.R.E. To Resist Ninja Drugs and Ninja Violence–and I cannot tell you how hard I love this book for that alone–Dan recruits his son to battle Franz Rayner, a Danish action movie star who singlehandedly wiped out most of the American Ninja population in the ’80s, and who is now manufacturing a drug that turns ordinary people into ninjas so that he has more ninjas to kill, which will of course lead to him becoming President.
And if that sentence didn’t blow your mind, then this will:
I don’t know if this was the comic Christopher Hastings and Kent Archer were born to make, but I’m pretty sure it’s the comic I was born to read.
So for the love of God, if you haven’t already, go read it, or even better, buy the trade, which features a bonus story written by Friend of the ISB Benito Cereno that climaxes in a panel so awesome that I was literally–yes, literally–crying from laughing so hard when I read it.
Because seriously: It is the single greatest use of ninjas since the video for Total Eclipse of the Heart.
Im with you on trades vs reading for free, chris. But for actual reasons.
I just cant read `proper’ comics online the pacing feels all wrong waiting for pages to refresh (even on great conections). And clicking or enil scrollling seams to ‘take me out of the story’ much more noticably than turning a page does. Also despite using computers for 5/6ths of my life, I still cant track on screen as well as I do on page. So, yep, trades. I’ll will get this one; it does indeed look aweflav. (ask me about it).
Oh yeah, when I say `proper’ I mean that I have no problem with newspaper style strip comics online, but anything more than two `lines’ and Im out (I think I draw the line complexity line at `goats’).
And, dont be so hard on yourself Dr. McNinja, its amazing how many other things sound kinda like chainsaw nunchuks.
I agree completely and utterly.
Dr. McNinja is incredibly awesome.
Really, what more needs to be said?
Dan McNinja is probably my favorite person ever. There is not a single syllable he utters that isn’t totally mind-blowingly awesome.
KNIFE-EYE ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The last line of the most recent comic, from Dark Smoke Puncher (Dr. McNinja’s teenage brother) to our intrepid hero himself:
“You need me to tell you how to hack a Draculabot so that you can fly it safely from the Moon to the Earth.”
Because, yes, Dr. McNinja was fighting Dracula. In his Moonbase.
Also, in honor of the soon-to-be Fourth of July: Ninja high-fives gorilla in front of large explosion.
http://drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=39&issue=8
I’m glad to see you finally reading this, Chris. There is no comic on the internet that comes close to Dr. McNinja for pure Chris Sims quotient.
Just bought it.
Good work Sims.
I was going to pint out the awesomeness of the page Micah just mentioned. Because, seriously- if you can’t get into a ninja mid-air high-fiving a gorilla in front of an explosion, then you have no soul.
Hmmm… that DOES look pretty awesome!
Better go check that out pronto!
ThanX, Sims.
Oh, and WHAT THE HELL is that Bonnie Tyler video?!?
High concept Director or Director high on ‘shrooms?
You decide.
~P~
PTOR
Seriously, if you think the arc in Surgical Strike is something, just wait until the more recent arcs are collected.
There are ghost wizards, Headless Horsemen, the bones of Mother Theresa as implements of death, robot bear fighting, Michael Jackson dance numbers, the greatest use of an airplane toilet ever, and as previously mentioned, A FIGHT TO THE DEATH WITH DRACULA ON HIS MOON BASE.
It’s amazing.
Truly the awesome strikes like a thunderbolt. Chris Sims reviewing Dr. Mcninja. The internet can now begin repairing itself from all the times it was split in half.
That guy has a really big mustache.
Chainsaw Nunchucks. Now I truly comprehend the purpose of the Cosmos.
Does Final Crisis have chainsaw nunchucku?
No. Final Crisis does not have chainsaw nunchucku.
Does Secret Invasion have chainsaw nunchucku?
No. Secret Invasion does not have chainsaw nunchucku.
I’m just saying, is all.
But print media doesn’t offer alt-text commentary, does it? Are you paying for less that what you were getting for free?
(You do all see the alt-text jokes, right? I’m not just hallucinating witty yellow bubble that disappear before I can finish reading them?)
The alt-text is included in the print editions as well.
Yup. It runs along the bottom of each page. SUCK IT, INTERNET FREELOADERS!
Scott:
you see yellow caption boxes? are you secretly Deadpool?
Every time I think I’m done with comics, this site pulls me back in. I now have to go get the TPBs of Doctor McNinja as well as that awesome looking Billy Batson comic above. Damn you and thank you at the same time.
Dude. This comic features a Ninja Doctor RIDING A DINOSAUR INTO BATTLE. I’m sold.
Dr. McNinja is also blessed with a writer with a great sense of comedic timing. This sequence also demonstrates that Dr. McNinja is one of the best action strips out there at actually depicting the action.