The Worst of Netflix: Ace Ventura Jr.

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You ever see something and get so confused trying to figure out why it exists that you pass out and wake up fourteen hours later in another state? Then you probably understand how I felt doing this week’s Worst of Netflix:

Here’s the phenomenally stupid plot: Sometime after the events of Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, the eponymous pet detective got married to and unsuspecting young lady and infested her with his pompadoured, cliché-spouting seed, only to then go and get lost in the Bermuda Triangle in what appears to be the most elaborate scheme to become a deadbeat dad since Superman Returns. I have to say, though: the fact that the filmmakers had Ace Sr. missing and presumed dead rather than just outright killed off speaks to a truly amazing level of optimism on their part. It leaves the door open for a sequel where father and son are reunited, and that can only happen if Jim Carrey not only forgets that he pulls down millions of dollars but also develops a drug habit that can only be satisfied by snorting ground-up blood diamonds.

It’s every bit as bad as you think.

16 thoughts on “The Worst of Netflix: Ace Ventura Jr.”

  1. It baffles me on all levels. They waited FOURTEEN YEARS to make this.

  4. I’ve seen a trailer for this.
    I’ve read your review of this.
    But I still don’t believe it exists.

  5. Ignorance is bliss, Dr. Medula. Ignorance is bliss. Keep it that way, you’ll spend less on liquor.

    Out of morbid curiosity, how many preteens do you think are familiar with the OJ Simpson trial these days? Any? I only ask because the greatest interest *I* had in the trial when I was younger stemmed from a magazine article about some hoarder down in Florida who created a mock-up of the police chase on her roof with Barbie cars and the kind of trash you find in Wal-Mart dumpsters. Also, kids in my class kept doing bad “THIS IS NOT MY GOLF GLOVE” impersonations.

    I guess what I’m trying to say here is that when you’re more nostalgic about the OJ Simpson trial than you are about a movie, that movie was probably pretty bad.

  6. I’ve actually seen some of this. I think it might have been at a hotel. I watched about 20 minutes of it because I couldn’t actually believe it existed.

  8. Do I get automatically branded with ‘hater’ status for thinking that Ace Ventura Jr looks kinda like a Chris Sims Jr? Like he should be holding up a copy of Anita Blake or something? Because I don’t mean it in a horrible way.

    And yet, that’s the only way anyone could take it. I’m sorry, Chris! I hide behind anonymity now (“Name” is my *middle* name, apparently).

  9. Now, I could believe they made a movie about Chris Sims Jr.
    Because that may be IMPROBABLE… but it’s not in actual DEFIANCE of Probability.

  10. What is it about Jim Carrey movies that inspire these kind of sequels (see: Son of the Mask)?

    If they ever release a sequel to Truman Show, I will know there is no hope.

  11. I think I may need to build a time machine to punch my younger self for ever liking the original movie. Hard enough to knock this one out of existence, if possible.

  13. I know that I shouldn’t hate on people I’ve never met, but that picture of the kid makes me want to punch him in the face.

  15. I like that remembering where you were when you got tired of Ace Ventura impressions in grade school can be a touchstone for our generation, Chris.

  16. So, Chris, the ultimate question…. is this *better*, or *worse* than Son of the Mask?

    (Part of me apologizes if this means you have to now find out. The other part of me is filled with a horrific glee if this is the case.)