Chris vs. Pokemon: Addendum

Last week, I wrote up a post at ComicsAlliance where I went through the in-game descriptions of everyone’s favorite collectible monsters to identify the Ten Most Disturbing Pokedex Entries in Pokemon. I think it’s a pretty solid list, but today, I found something I’d overlooked while I was playing through Black.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Vullaby:

 

 

My first thought on seeing this thing was “Oh, It’s a little baby bird that still has a piece of its egg. It’s like someone mashed up Togepi and Beaky Buzzard from the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons. Cute.” And then I read its Pokedex description:

Species: Diaper Pokemon. Its wings are too tiny to allow it to fly. As the time approaches for it to evolve, it discards the bones it was wearing.

“Wait, bones? What do you mean bones–”

And then I looked a little closer at what I’d thought was an eggshell.

 

 

VULLABY IS USING A HUMAN SKULL AS A DIAPER. Who the hell designed this thing, G.G. Allin?!

And it gets stranger. Lest you think that Vullaby and Mandibuzz are out there murdering the citizens of Unova in order to diaper their offspring, the Pokedex for White points out that they use bones that they find. And this opens the door for some questions that I don’t think Nintendo was really prepared to ask. Specifically, where are they finding so many human skulls?! Are there so many mass graves in the world of Pokemon that an entire species of animal has evolved with a biological imperative to take a dump on the bones of man?

13 thoughts on “Chris vs. Pokemon: Addendum

  1. Considering the number of times amazingly powerful Pokemon appear and destroy large swathes of the landscape, having one evolve to use human bones as a bathroom is surprisingly and horrifyingly feasible.

  2. I got a big ol’ diaper that I wear on my butt
    And it’s made out of human skull
    C’mon, take a little walk with me, baby
    And tell me, who do you love?

  3. The little heart over its stomach inverting to the nasal cavity is nothing short of brilliance — it’s like that 19th-century drawing of Vanity, with the woman in front of a mirror also reading as a giant skull, except with more pooping implied. Feeling cocky lately? Vullaby’s got your goddamn memento mori RIGHT HERE.

  4. This Pokémon was designed by an American, James Turner. He also designed those two golem Pokémon as well as all three vanilla ice cream ones.

    And after I learned that Marowak wears his own mother’s skull, NOTHING shocks me anymore in the Pokémon world.

  5. Hey, this is a world where RATS MADE OF LIGHTNING wander around the city streets. “Where are all the human skulls coming from?” is not the question here.

  6. Wait why would it wear a diaper? Why doesn’t it just shit on the ground? Is this pokemon supposed to cater to weird fetishists?

  7. “Its wings are too tiny to allow it to fly. As the time approaches for it to evolve, it discards the bones it was wearing.” Does that mean it poops in the same skull until it’s level 54?