17 thoughts on “Remedial Batmanology: Batman Returns, Part Two

  1. I didn’t want to bring this up, but I guess someone should.

    It really isn’t fun to watch a blow by blow of guys hating something every week anymore. It was novel in the Smallville series, but it’s dragged on since then. (What happened? When you look into the Smallville, the Smallville also looks into you?) If this is going to be a regular feature of the reviews that would be a real downer. Grim.

    It’s much more fun to watch people having fun. Pick something you like next time, guys.

  2. Nah, it’s still fun to see Chris get a good disection of Batman in the media, if only to see the Fanboy Rampage that results from the tipping of sacred cows. And if I may put in a request, maybe someday, you and David might give us an examination of the Columbia Batman serials of the forties.

  3. I’m sorry you’re not enjoying it, but nobody’s holding a gun to your head to make you read it, and it’s just one of ten (10) pieces I write for ComicsAlliance every week, most of which tend to be about things I like.

  4. (If someone is holding a gun to your head to make you read it, please blink twice. We will send help to liberate you from your captors, who I must say have impeccable taste)

  5. Wait… “multiple script doctors” and “Tim Burton doesn’t give a fuck” don’t rhyme! So how could the answer rhyme with both of them?

  6. I’m going to have to disagree. Not only are these articles funny, but they don’t ruin my enjoyment of the movies. If anything, they just illuminate what I love about them. For instance, Chris and David point out how good that scene is between Shreck and Bruce Wayne. It really IS a highlight of the movie, and it’s a pity there wasn’t more. It’s amazing to me when people complain about Batman’s Growly Voice but hold these movies in such high esteem.

    And I mean, seriously…a Batman who blows dudes up on purpose is not a Batman I want to root for.

  7. Actually, I’ve found these articles informative — I think Chris and David made a really good case that the first 2 Batman movies aren’t any better than the 2 that followed — something I’ve taken for granted for decades.

    I know, I know — I’m as surprised as anyone.

  8. “Fuck haters, acquire sarcasm.”

    Naa, more like “Fuck you, acquire balls”.

    Simple fact: You **CAN’T** write a seething piece of nerd-hate, say “in your face, internet” while sneering and then whine because someone just as opinionated as you comes along and objects vehemently to your crap.

    Chris Sims and the other guy have my permission to like or dislike whatever the hell they want. But Chris in particular just needs to stop trying to masquerade his personal deviancies as reviews. I’m not saying he’s always wrong. Sometimes, his opinions are actually worth reading (and sometimes he likes to give himself an enema using his own face, like in this case) .

    He is a comics blogger. He nitpicks and snarks all day long, but for some reason he doesn’t realize that it’s only funny when you shit on bad stuff (i.e. Smallvile, All-Star B&RTBW). If he shits on stuff just because he doesn’t get them, then people start shitting on him

  9. Chris Sims and the other guy have my permission

    Thank God, I’ll alert the legal team.

    But Chris in particular just needs to stop trying to masquerade his personal deviancies as reviews.

    My “deviancies?” And here I thought everyone liked Bring It On Week.

    (and sometimes he likes to give himself an enema using his own face, like in this case) .

    I have literally no idea what this means. Fortunately, I also don’t care.

  10. Can’t, Pennypacker? CAN’T? I think the historical record of discourse on the internet will show that one very much *CAN*.

    Also, I’m not sure what we should, as readers, make of your apparent rhetorical obsession with coprophilia and the projection of such “personal deviancies” (sic) onto Chris.

  11. Mmm… You’re right — I was complaining about people complaining. I actually do enjoy your other stuff a lot. Thank you for those. In fact, I check out your blog so I don’t miss your new articles on comicsalliance.

    Also, if we’re fielding requests, I’d like to reiterate mine for The Greatest Batman Movie Ever Made… Mask of the Phantasm :)

  12. The name H.E. Pennypacker brings to mind an old rich sophisticate. His comments make that image even funnier.

  13. Pennypacker, you do realize this only makes me want to start pushing all your OTHER buttons, right?

    But seriously, “deviancies”? For real? If *humorous reviews* make that vein in your forehead get all twitchy, I can’t wait until someone floats a political opinion you disagree with. You’re gonna die of a cerebral hemorrhage. Enjoy.

    The only thing that explains your rabid impotent frothing nerdrage is the possibility that Tim Burton is, in fact, standing behind you with a gun to your head, forcing you to waste your time by reading stuff you don’t like. In which case my advice to you is to nut up and steal the god damn gun already.

  14. Hey Chris, any chance you guys will tackle Mask of the Phantasm at some point? I know it barely got a theatrical release, but up until Dark Knight, it was my favorite Batman film by far…

    Plus, Abe Vigoda, man. Abe Vigoda.

  15. Is it just a weird coincidence that AMC is showing these movies at the same time these reviews are being done?

    Chris, not that you care, but I think the “enema with your face” thing is Pennypacker’s somewhat odd way of saying that he thinks you have your head up your backside.

    Count me in as one of those interested in seeing you guys review not just Mask of the Phantasm but all the animated Batman films, mainly because I’d like to see your take on these much better films.

    That raises a question for you, Chris: have you ever done an article on why DC’s animated films tend to be better than their live action efforts? I’m curious because I don’t think it’s a matter of one format being better suited to the genre, since in the case of Marvel, it seems to me as if their live action material (recently, at least) is generally better than their animated efforts.