Last Sunday, I asked the readers of the ISB to take their shots at drawing Batman using unconventional nunchuks, and I’ve gotta say: You guys really came through on this one, and I can honestly say that there wasn’t a single entry that didn’t make me laugh.
So let’s see what Batman’s pulling out to fight crime tonight!
The very first entry from NickT set the standard that everyone else had to live up to:
Nunchuks Made of Batman’s Dead Parents
Hey, thedarkbackward draws a lot like Matt Wagner! Somebody get this guy a miniseries!
Nunchuks Made of Frankenstein’s Monster
Pj Perez brought us the first in a sub-genre that can only be called “Sidechuks.”
Nunchuks Made of Robins
The rain on Chris’s chest is a salt-water baptism…
Nunchuks Made of Sharks… IN THE FUTURE
Kilmoonie knows that the most devastating weapon is brutal Internet handsomeness.
Nunchuks Made of Chris Sims
Jamie goes the extra mile to bring us…
Nunchuks Made of the Punisher
I knew there was a reason they called Just Some Guy “Mr. Action!”
Nunchuks Made of Jimmy Olsen
(Check here for a full explanation and a larger version)
Nunchuks Made of 19th Century Street Urchins
Earlofthercs crafted a sigil to tap into the collective unconscious of the fictionverse, but when that didn’t work out, he drew this:
Nunchuks Made of Grant Morrison
The 52 worlds of the DC Universe are as a child’s plaything to Dave!
Nunchuks Made of Batmen
Psychofish knows that the quickest way to a man’s heart is through Jim Aparo.
Nunchuks Made of Mjolnir and Stormbreaker
Brian Smith gives us something that I can only describe as “inexplicable and hilarious.”
Nunchuks Made of That “Cliff Hangers” Guy From The Price Is Right
Bryan Boles has next summer’s zombie-themed event comic RIGHT HERE!
Nunchuks Made of Brian Michael Bendis an Robert Kirkman
Tim C did a sequential piece that is just… Just… I mean freakin’ look at it!
Nunchuks Made of Monkeys That Are On Fire
Jacob Z. Clinton‘s entry is probably the most metal thing I’ve seen today. And I saw Slayer fight Manowar with broadswords.
Nunchuks Made of Narwhals Who Are Immune To The Omega Effect
It’s like andrewg2442 reached into my head and pulled out my most wonderful dream.
Nunchuks Made of Bears With Chainsaws
Mitch presents a martial art 65 million years in the making.
Nunchuks Made of Tyrannosaurus Rexes, One of Which Appears To Be In a Gang (or Breakdance Crew)
Ninjaink can smell their fear… and it is sweet.
Nunchuks Made of Chainsaws
DouglasG is all about keeping things in scale.
Nunchuks Made of Godzilla and Mechagodzilla
Sean Whitmore‘s entry isn’t really nunchuks, but come on: we’re not really dealing with the standard definition at this point.
Nunchuks Made of Batman’s Own Dislocated Arms
Heimdall deserves his own case in the Batcave.
Nunchuks Made of Sidekicks
Schujo has two words for you: “Ka” and “boom.”
Nunchuks made of Dynamite
And now, a few that I got via email:
Moises Tavera created a strange world in which The Dark Knight was even more awesome than it was:
Nunchuks Made of Movie-Sharks
Nunchuks Made of Smash-Hit Urban Fantasy Novels
Paul Milne is now on my Christmas Card list forever.
Nunchuks Made of MODOK and MODAM
Michael Noonan sent me what is unquestionably the strangest entry I’ve ever gotten:
(Click for full-size)
Nunchuks Made of Chris Sims That Are Used To Defeat Tarot, Orca the Whale Woman, the Joker and Dave’s Long Box While Herbie and Rachelle Goguen Look On
Caleb Mozzocco gives us a triptych of awesome:
(Click for full-size)
Nunchuks Made of The Punisher, Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter: Guilty Pleasures, and Batman
Philip Oldham is In It To Win It!
Nunchuks Made of Missy and Torrance, The Rancho Carne Toros Cheerleaders From Bring It On
I don’t think I’m exaggerating here when I say that with entries like that, this is quite possibly the greatest contest in the history of contests, and considering that I got somebody to draw Batman using nunchuks made of MODOKs who also have their own nunchuks, I think I could retire from this whole internet thing tomorrow and be perfectly happy with that. Everyone who contributed was absolutely fantastic. You’ve made the world more awesome, and you should all be proud.
But, this is a contest, and that means that there can be only one winner, and that (dubious) honor can only go to one entry.
Because when you get right down to it, this entire thing was based on Batman using nunchuks made of sharks, and there’s only one thing that could possibly beat those:
NUNCHUKS MADE OF ANTI-SHARK REPELLENT BAT-SPRAY
Congratulations, CFC! You’ve won yourself an autographed copy of Teenagers From the Future, featuring an all new essay by me on the inherent teenage cruelty of the Legion Constitution, a copy of Batman Chronicles v.1, wherein Golden Age Batman hits people with other people a lot, and whatever else I happen to scrounge up before it’s time to mail out the prize.
Thanks, everybody! And really… No OMACHUKS?
Note: I’ve been through my email and the comments of the original post twice each, but if I happened to miss anybody, please shoot me an email to let me know.