Watch out, mister! Here comes the twister! This is Rudy Ray Moore–yeah, I’m the Human Tornado! I chained down thunder and handcuffed lightning! I’m so damn strong it’s sometimes frightening! I grabbed a star traveling a million miles a minute and slowed it down to the state speed limit! Yes, I’m the Human Tornado! Winnin’, grinnin’ and sinnin’! I used an earthquake to mix MY milkshake! I eat an avalanche when I want ice cream! I punched a hurricane and made it a breeze! I swallowed an iceberg and didn’t freeze! The Human Tornado! Flingin’ cash and talkin’ trash! Delayed, relayed, mislaid AND parleyed! Jumped, stumped, bumped AND mugwumped! THE HUMAN TORNADO!
–Radio spot for the Human Tornado, 1976