15 thoughts on “Jack of Hearts Says…

  1. Alright, Mr. Hearts! I’ll talk!

    Share prices are currently trading slightly up at 3.66 a share with some bail out money coming through but the long term prospects are still bleak! It lost $75 billion last year and it’s far to late to save the corporation even with short term government loans on favorable terms!

  2. I wish he’d come to the corporation I work for and threaten our executives with disintegration.

  3. Melodrama gets cold in drafts, Mister Sims. Putting, at the minimum, an athletic sock upon it is necessary for the health and well-being of melodrama during the winter months. Nobody wants a sneezing, sniffling, mucus-slathered melodrama.

    “Great Scott! My girlfriend is also my…my… -ACHOO- (sniff sniff)… Oh man, anybody got a hankie?”

  4. Jack of Hearts wants him to save the melodrama for his momma.

    Such a nice, thoughtful boy! Not like that awful Spider-Man!

  5. I agree with SSC, Jack is a badass visual. It seems odd to me that someone with a look so timeless and an origin story that mashes together so many different classic elements could still feel so specifically ’70’s.

    Also, I notice that the “Advice for Crazy Ladies” category has not only got Jack, but “10” of the Royal Flush Gang and a couple things by “King” Kirby. I look forward to seeing if Chris can make the straight.

  6. My favorite Jack of Hearts appearance is still that Hembeck interview, where Fred gradually edges him down out of the panel to avoid having to draw that insanely complicated costume over and over…and then gets savagely beaten for his trouble.

  7. Chris, I would like to thank you sincerely. The night before my ACT, I was supposed to be studying the cumbersome book that supposedly teaches you how to pass it. Instead, I chose to read some of your older articles on blogspot, recently finishing all of them on this site. As it would turn out, I got a 32 composite. So, I guess I owe a great standardized test score to facekicks.

  8. Yes. I am totally going to listen to the dude in the technicolor jazzercise outfit, who seems to have a heart over one eye and a giant pink Tribble in one fist, regarding acceptable levels of drama. Me am Bizarro. Tony Stark is not a douche. Cap is alive.

  9. “Put a sock on the melodrama, hemlock!”

    This is the exact line the jailor said before visiting Socrates after his trial.

    Also, Jack’s eye looks like a pair of woman’s lips on a cold day.

  10. Hey, good call, Alan! Jack’s eye looks like one of Frank Millers Sin City hookers applied the lipstick!

  11. Somewhere, in an alternate reality, there’s a superhero team made up of Rom, Jack of Hearts, Mantlo-Hulk, pissed-off Brandy Clark Starshine, Shang-Chi AND Iron Fist and a Skrull Katie Power.

    And maybe Bug.