The guy who looks like Conway Twitty and sounds like Early Cuyler is here with his angry, shouting grandson. #WaffleHouse.
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
They are arguing very loudly about ham. #WaffleHouse — Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
“How about you get back in the truck and we go home and I give you a can of Vienna sausages and a fork?!” #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
Then he yelled over here to see if he could have the comics when I was done with them. #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
Now he’s reading Peanuts aloud. #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
“[obnoxious laugh] read Garfield! Never make a cat mad!” #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
Waitress just told him they’re out of sausage gravy. He threw the paper down and yelled “CAN’T YOU JUST MAKE MORE?!?!” #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
PS: I got the last of the gravy. #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
“Is Dennis [the Menace] trying to be mean?” “I don’t know. Are you?” #WaffleHouse #SickGrandpaBurn
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
I wish I could describe what just happened but the important thing is that Grandpa is actually DAD. #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
Okay, so: Dad got up to storm out because kid wouldn’t decide what he wanted and kept yelling at the waitress. #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
Then kid stood up and pithed a fit with lots of “DAAAAD WHYYYYYY” and dad said he could “eat Armour all day.” #WaffleHouse #BrandNames
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
Kid then begged not to go and THREW himself dramatically back in the booth and laid on the table while Dad ordered. #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
“You’re not happy with anything in your life are you?” “DAD IM SUPPOSED TO GET TWO PIECES OF TOAST” #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
Literally ordering more food so I can see how this plays out. Dad just told kid he was tired of kid “eating like an animal.” #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
“Do you want me to take this belt off? I got no qualms about putting you on that counter and wearing your butt out.” #WaffleHouse #NOQUALMS
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
“Do you want to check in on grandma?” “I could care less about grandma.” #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
“No I’m not gonna paint your room! You created that filth, you can live in it.” #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
“It was an accident!” “Poking holes in the wall with a sword wasn’t no accident!” I SWEAR TO GO THIS WAS JUST SAID. #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
Kid chopped up the stairs with a hatchet at the age of three apparently. #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
“One way or another you’ll be wearing a uniform when you turn 18. A prison uniform or an army uniform, your choice.” #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
Kid went out to the parking lot. “Dad did you pick up the stick that was out here?” “I broke it and threw it over the fence.” #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
“DAD!!! THAT WAS THE LONGEST STICK I FOUND ALL YEAR!!!!” #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
“I’m gonna go smoke a cigarette.” “Yeah well I’ll be FINDING ANOTHER STICK!!!” #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
Not gonna lie, I lost my shit at that last one. The Stick Saga paid off. #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
One more thing from earlier: During the discussion of painting the kid’s room, Dad was listing all the things he’d destroyed. #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
Curtains (torn up), bedposts (hacked up with a knife or something), etc. #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
“And then I gotta patch up all the holes in the floor you peed into when you was too lazy to get up from your video games.” #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013
“DAD! THAT IS *PRIVATE*!!!” #WaffleHouse
— Chris Sims (@theisb) January 27, 2013