27 thoughts on “And Now…

  1. If your bodkin is envenomed put a ring on it
    If your venom was bebodkin’d put a ring on it
    You little fool don’t be venomed by that bodkin
    If your bodkin is envenomed put a ring on it

    woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh! woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh! woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh! woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh! woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh! woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh!

    victory: knowles. and you can suck it, sims. you’re slower than artie simek at a slow dumb son of a bitch convention.

  2. Chris, ignore Beyoncé — she hasn’t been the same since Herbie Popnecker said “No kiss.” And Beyoncé, your envenomed bodkin is in the box to the left, to the left.

  3. I suppose I’d earn no points for originality if I said,

    EVACUATE THIS BODKIN! I’M GOING TO ENVENOM IT!

  4. Oh, great. Guess what they’ll be selling in the Previews merchandise section next month.

  5. Judging by that guy’s expression, he pretty much knows it’s the best line ever too.

  6. How did “bodkin” lose to “dagger” in the race to the vernacular? I smell a fix.

  7. “Dagger” sounds aggressive. “Bodkin” sounds like you’re threatening someone with a hobbit.

    “Isn’t that just like a Wop? Brings a bodkin to a gun fight.”

  8. Well then, let’s ask:

    art thou but/
    A bodkin of the mind, a false creation/
    Proceeding from the heat-envenomèd brain?

    Yes. Yes, you are.

  9. If this were an audio clip, someone in this thread would’ve mixed it to a dance beat by now.

  10. Done and done! My students looked at me like I was a loon but then again that’s the normal state of affairs in my classroom.

    On a side none of them knew what a bodkin was and I made them look it up. Some didn’t know what envenomed meant and I told THEM they had extra homework.

  11. “Bodkin” is a diminutive (a little piercing thing used in shirtmaking), so my guess is he’s trying to make the threatening offscreen presence feel lame about his, uh, equipment.

  12. “How do you envenom a bodkin?”

    pretty easily, given that its a nice
    its what Hamlet threatens to kill himself with – a ‘bare bodkin’

  13. I’m no expert in Hyborian Age smack talk, but its possible the guy means the bodkin style of arrowhead, rather than the shirt making implement.

    Chris, please post this guys fate? Does he get himself decapitated? Cause I’m not taking up the dare if that’s the risk I face.

  14. Coincidentally, I DO work at a Renaissance Faire, and guess what? I really WAS impervious to his envenomed bodkin!

    Okay I was kidding. I’m actually in deep pain right now, and the wound is starting to smell of ginger root and goat’s butter.

  15. I use a bodkin in my fashion design dressmaking business while sewing. it’s a handy little tool that I’m always using to assist in drawing elastics and strings through narrow casings. It’s also handy when making rolled bias tubes. I’ve never once thought about envenomating it. That’s a good idea. Then when a crabby hard to please customer starts giving me a hard time I can threaten her with my envenomed bodkin. Thanks for the great idea!