And Then There Was the Time That Stalker Dressed Up Like Don Johnson and Fought a Crocodile


Now you know… and knowing is half the battle!


If I’ve learned anything from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, it’s that the ’80s were all about pastel suits, giant pet reptiles, and GI Joe.

24 thoughts on “And Then There Was the Time That Stalker Dressed Up Like Don Johnson and Fought a Crocodile

  1. The alligator represents Artie Simek and that’s your innocence he’s crushing in his ferocious, handsy jaws while your two lesser co-stars of the pop-R&B trio that brought you to fame watch on helplessly from the shore.

  2. I find it unsettling that Gung-Ho, who hails from Louisiana, doesn’t know the difference between an alligator and a crocodile.

  3. I think the Crocodile just wants to be friends. You’d think if he meant any harm he’d probably just bite Stalker’s leg off with his big ferocious jaws.

  4. Beyoncé, honey, you know that later, when the lights are dim, but not that dim, but sort of dim, dim enough that you can make out shapes and perhaps enough to distinguish, say, passion from mild irritation, you’ll be calling me your Orinoco Crocodile. Again.

  5. Dude, I freakin’ loved that issue.

    And as a child of the 80s, I can comfortably say Miami Vice RULED. And still RULES to this day.

    Yes, seriously.

    Although, I’m not saying we should all go back to wearing pink tank tops and white sport coats or anything…

  6. Crocodiles can jump a rather frightening distance. And I don’t mean that as a remark on the panel.

  7. in case someone hasn’t noticed already, the panel is bittersweet… that giantass croc/gator is about to bite off his left leg at the hip. Onoes….

  8. Stalker is one serious badass. Not only is he fighting a crocodile with what looks like a letter opener but he’s giving biology lessons while said crocodile chews through his upper thigh.

  9. Actually I am quite impressed. It can’t be easy to be so clinical and informative when one is in the process of having one’s leg chewed off.

  10. Yeah, Stalker may be super cool, but unless his leg is made of titanium, these next few panels are gonna be seriously NC-17.

  11. Due to headline style capitalization, there was a moment where I didn’t realize that “Stalker” was a proper noun here, which I spent thinking, “Huh? Which stalker? Whose?”

  12. Folks, fighting a crocodile bare-handed is the first thing they ask you to do when you join GI Joe. You lose a leg and you’re a washout… and Stalker ain’t no washout.

  13. There’s a genuine question in my mind as to whether Stalker actually kills the beast or instead tells Gung Ho that the Orinoco Crocodile is severely endangered before sending the little scamp on his way with a pat on the head. There is no question about whether he keeps his leg.

    On the downside, minus another 30 Don Johnson points for wearing a collared shirt. I think someone got confused with the famous Travolta disco suit.

  14. The next panel would be an entire luggage set while Stalker schools those fools on the habits of Orinoco ‘diles.

  15. Anyone else find how Stalker’s holding the knife weird? Like his hand has been completely inverted? Is this an optical illusion produced by the Don Johnson-esque suit?

  16. I remember having that issue. Isn’t Chuckles in it as well, that Joe who’s ability seemed to be to look like a “Company Man” with a Shoulder holster ON THE OUTSIDE OF HIS HAWAIIAN SHIRT!. On his stat card it said something like “Covert Opperations Specialist”. I guess he was if you wanted to pin Joe shenanagins on the CIA.

    Oh and as far as I remember Stalker stabs the Croc in the eye with the knife it lets go, and swims away, or that just how I wanted the vingnette to end as a kid.

  17. For whatever reason last week I decided with the release of GI Joe in the big collections like that it was time to read them. Stalker became my favorite Joe the second that crocodile bit his leg.