Archie In… A Different Class!





















The End
But Archie Will Return in… “This Is Hardcore!”


For an explanation, please see this, this, or this. Dedicated with very happy birthday wishes to bitterandrew, who would probably strangle me if I told him I preferred the latter.

93 thoughts on “Archie In… A Different Class!

  1. I first heard the latter, and thus Archie’s voice in my head is now that of William Shatner


    Kudos, sir. This was brilliant. I have only ever heard the latter version and you know what? I’m actually okay with that because the Shatner version is, in fact, pretty darn awesome. Sorry Birthday Person! Happy B-Day anyways!

    For the first three panels, I thought this was a Man Without Fear thing.

    Archie: “She’s actually a very nice girl, Juggy.”

    Celia, I’m also disappointed about the lack of a roaches panel, but I’m even more bummed that we didn’t see Veronica cut her hair and get a job. I mean, I’m sure at least one of those things has happened in the course of Archie.

    . . . man, now I miss “Improved Archie” something fierce.

  3. Wow.

    (By which I mean, of course, “Vaginas! Hot damn!”)

    Where do you go from here? Cap performing “You’re Gonna Die”?

  4. Yeah, Pulp is great and all, Jarvis Cocker can write great songs, but Shatner owned the fuck out of that song. Period. (Well, I guess he did have some help…)

  5. Ilove this song, but the shatner version was just soooo much better, he was insane.

  6. Awesome. That totally brightened my day! Plus I have Shatner in my head singing. Its a win, win for amusement.

  7. Hot Damn, I thought I was the only one who liked (or even knew of) Shatner’s mind shattering aural epic. So it’s not just comic books and cheer leader love we all have in common? That’s McAwesome.

  8. Bravo, Chris, and thanks for the birthday cheer.

    I, too, prefer the Shatner version of the song to the original.

    James T. Kirk + Joe Jackson > Jarvis Cocker

  9. That was awesome on the level of “Herbie the Fat Fury.”

    Kudos, sir. Kudos.

  10. Like all of the above, I agree that this is the most awesome thing since the Big Bang. But what really would make a good Archie comic is seeing Archie and Reggie sorted out for E’s & wizz.

  11. Man, the people who prefer Shatner to Cocker, would you kindly line up in a straight line, so I can slap you.

    And that was fantastic.

  12. Chris, I’ve been sitting here for five minutes trying to come up with appropriate words to describe how awesome this is. And it turns out they don’t exist.

    Bravo, sir. Next up, “This is Hardcore” via Adam Warren’s Empowered?

  13. I think that all the “Shatner’s version is better” stems from the fact that this is a comics blog. Send this off to Pitchfork, Stereogum, or PopCandy, and I’m sure the results will differ while everyone will still agree in the brilliance of this post. And yes, you should all be slapped. Buy Different Class. Read Phonogram. Get a proper education!

  14. Phonogram? Please. Just buy the albums and forget what Kieron is trying to tell you. Scout Niblet my arse.

  15. I’m crying.
    This has brought me to tears of joy. Thank you sir, you truly are a gawd among men.

  16. Ever see the real “common people” cartoon that was made years ago? Regardless, that clip of Betty with her second class fears is fabulous!

    The less said about that Shatner version from now on the better.

  17. You Shatner-lovers are freaks. Funny, yes. Better, NO!

    “But what really would make a good Archie comic is seeing Archie and Reggie sorted out for E’s & wizz.”

    How about Mary Worth doing ‘I Spy’?

  18. People, people… all of this Cocker-vs.-Shatner arguing is academic. Everyone knows that Tom Baker’s is clearly the superior version.

  19. if you could pull off something similar using Disco 2000 (regardless of the comic used) I’d have to not just buy you a cookie, but MANY cookies.

    also, thank you so much for this

  20. Shatner’s performance may not be superior, but when Joe Jackson makes his entrance, it’s one of the greatest moments in recorded music.

  21. Ginger Yellow said:
    You Shatner-lovers are freaks. Funny, yes. Better, NO!

    Fail. Funny IS better, simple as that.

    Also, I know both versions well, really enjoy a lot of Cocker’s work, and yes, get more enjoyment playing Shatner’s cover of this song.

    Also, to the guy who said that if you asked people at Pitchfork or another music geek site they’d all pick the original, well, I think you’d be surprised & the results would be pretty evenly mixed.

  22. Sorry to get all serious, but the song only really works in its social context – a working class Northerner who moved to London surrounded by posh kids slumming it at art school. Bill Shatner can’t exactly pull that off.

  23. Actually, the song works fine without that… it just doesn’t work that way for you, which is fine.

    Me, I love the Shatner/Jackson/Folds version. And oh, it works.

  24. Actually, I think the song only works when it’s about a middle-class northeastern suburbanite who finds himself torn between a stalwart girlfriend and a gorgeous debutante. But, you know, that might just be me.

  25. This is the best thing I’ve ever seen. At first, I thought it was a real in-book reference to Pulp, but by the third panel I knew to fear you and how much time you have on your hands (or don’t, and use what little you have to entertain us anyway).

    Good show, sir.

  26. “This is the best thing I’ve ever seen. At first, I thought it was a real in-book reference to Pulp, but by the third panel I knew to fear you and how much time you have on your hands ”

    What he said.

    “I want to see the Archie version of Help the Aged.”

    Pluggers, surely.

  27. I just keep going back to that first panel…. Jughead is STILL looking at Archie as if there’s a giant hot dog for them to share. So, yes – awesome job and all – but the disturbing, it lingers.

  28. but by the third panel I knew to fear you and how much time you have on your hands

    Not to impugn the brilliance of Sims’ idea here (because it is brilliant), but in terms of time spent, this is pretty minimal; speaking as somebody who redialogues comics fairly frequently, emptying and refilling word balloons (and adding caption boxes) is basic, simple Photoshop.

    If the whole thing took him more than an hour, I’d be surprised. (Which, again, is not the point, because Sims thought of it and I didn’t, and I am eternally jealous of him for doing so.)

  29. It’s funny, I could totally tell you were favoring the Shatner version from the emphasized words in the panels.

    (And rightly so. I love the way Shatner’s delivery positively drips with the class resentment that Cocker plays coy under all that tweeness.)

  30. Who’d have thought you could top Li’l Bruce Wayne? Te saluto, sir. Keep ’em coming.

  31. My personal preference is for another particular version of the song, and so therefore everyone else here is wrong. I have come to this conclusion with the judicious application of Science, so please just accept that you are wrong and move on.

  32. I had never thought of Archie from a class background before. Now, it is ‘duh, of course’. Where did I learn all this crap in my head; Archie, of course!

    Thanks so much!

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  34. Brilliant. However, it needs continuation. “Cut your hair and get a job … watching roaches climb the wall … call your dad …” If you’re up for it, it *really* needs to be made into an MPG set to the music. :)

  35. I loved this! Had a great laugh…

    I saw Jarvis singing “Help the Aged” with Ali G. You should look it up on YouTube, very funnY!

  36. i think something just exploded in my head…can’t express myself…superlatives escape me…

    *i am not going to swear, i am not going to swear*

    absolutely fuckin ace!

  37. Being an Archies reader in the past, this has to be the most outstanding and funniest thing from Archies I have ever read.


  38. Yep,

    someone already mentioned this, but maybe it wasn’t clear:

    James T. Kirk + Joe Jackson + Ben Folds > Jarvis Cocker

    My humble opinion is that Ben Folds was the genius behind everything, even selecting this song for a cover!

  39. The number of people who now know the Common People tune, but who think it was written by shatner & folds, is getting annoyingly large.

    I still luv the cover, though.

  40. Combining two of my favourite things – Archie comics and Pulp – you are a legend. More please! x

  41. This was fantastic! Really fantastic!

    If you could find a way to do “A Little Soul” that would be incredible (This Is Hardcore is coming up next, right? :) ).

    Anyway, thanks for this. I got pointed to this through a different blot, and you really made my day with this.

  42. you are all crazy for liking shatners version (at least those of you that do) what was ben folds thinking?I blame neal hannah

  43. I don’t even remember what link I followed to get here, but now that I am, I think I may be in love with you for this.

  44. Good stuff, I was looking forward to seeing a “Smoke some fags and play some pool” panel, but still…

    This is Hardcore, eh? “And that goes in there, and that goes in there…” I can hardly wait.

  45. Hey,I’ve been a lifelong fan of Archie comics and I love Pulp as well.Kudos for this brilliant work.

  46. I guess there was no way you could put them smoking fags and playing some pool, neitther watching cockroaches climbing the wall. hehe

    nevertheless, a-m-a-z-i-n-g.

    Now, I wanna see This is Hardcore.