Welcome to Year Four, suckers!
That’s right, folks: In addition to being my 1,039th post, today marks the Third Anniversary of the day my pal Phil convinced me that the best way to fulfill my New Year’s Resolution of writing more would be to sit down and make one of those crazy, self-indulgent Internet Weblogs. And all things considered, I think it’s worked out pretty well.
Especially in the past year, which saw the ISB’s move to its own fancy dot-com address, a second mention on television, and a trip to a convention where a couple of people actually wanted to meet me. But that’s enough reminiscing!
What matters tonight is that I bought myself a week off with a contest where you guys put your crayon skills to the test to create a Thirty Second Recap of a comic book story, and now it’s time to drop a little judgment! But before we get to that, I really have to say that I’m thrilled with what you guys had to offer. Everybody who participated did a great job, and as clichÃ© as it sounds, I had a really hard time picking a winner this year.
Now let’s get to the entries!
Zac scores bonus points with his creative use of media and his ability to resist shouting “FIRST!” as he sums up every issue of Supergirl so far.
Blue–presumably not to be confused with Bleu Finnegan–was pretty unimpressed by Ultimate Spider-Man #100. Which, for the record, was the appropriate reaction.
The Blackbeard of the Internet, MightyGodKing, forgot to actually tell me he posted his take on The Sinestro Corps War, the greatest story where nothing happened of 2007!
Krod‘s political cartoon-esque look at One More Day was rejected from the New Yorker due to the presence of actual humor.
Jon‘s got it backwards: People didn’t care because it was Aquaman!
A special prize ought to be awarded to Jason for his depiction of a year’s worth of All-New Atom, as it was the only entry where Hitler got kicked in the face.
Philip Oldham reveals the tuth at last: The Legion of Super-Heroes elect their leaders based on the presence of the famed underbreast!
His Spider-Man Unlimited story might be in danger of a retcon from One More Day, but at least Napoleon Daxamite has a name Peter David wishes he thought of.
Notintheface offers up his entry on the monthly plight of Manhunter… with the power of SONG!
I might not know what irony is, but I’m willing to bet that Crowded Bookshelf got it right on the first page of his Punisher War Journal adaptation!
Jeff blows JMS right out of the water with his version of what should’ve happened in the first arc of Thor!
Knitquest–er, Knightquest–was brought to you by TheSandman and a generous grant from the Order of St. Dumas.
Billy F and an all-star cast of muppets bring you Batman: The Long Halloween, and one of my favorite punchlines of the contest.
Chris Heimpel takes William F. Sessions’ video-game advice about the relationship between winners and drugs to heart with the most obscure entry of the contest, a hockey-themed Canadian Spider-Man PSA!
All I’m saying is that if One More Day had actually featured Mephisto throwin’ up the horns like he does in Alan Adelberg‘s version, the world would probably be a much, much better place.
Oh, Ragnell! You know the criticism of Will Pfeifer’s Amazons Attack only makes him stronger!
In his own words, Tim Callahan “magic markered the fuck out of Planet Hulk.”
Kalinara narrowly avoids a disqualification by replacing the hated Comic Sans with Copperplate in her thrillingly angular version of the Creature in the Velvet Cage.
Susan K. demolishes the midnight deadline, but I think we’re all willing to overlook that, since her treatise on “Welcome Back Frank” includes both bear- and toilet-based violence.
The following entrants will all be receiving a (poorly) sketched copy of the 2007 ISB Con Special, featuring the character of their choice! This, by the way, is meant as a reward, not a punishment.
Fan-favorite Das Ãœbernerd offers up some fantastic sight gags and what might be the best instance of table-based humor ever seen on the ISB in his ambitious and highly enjoyable version of the History of the DC Universe!
I know I promised to keep it a secret, Rachelle, but I think everyone already knows about your thing for one-armed communist hitmen. Or at least, they will after they see your swoontastic take on Captain America #33.
Those of you who haven’t been checking every day to see if there was new content might be interested to find out that Brandon Bragg is back to work at his awesome blog, Random Panels. It never fails to entertain, and his two-panel recap of X-Cutioner’s Song is no exception.
Even if it wasn’t one of the funniest entries I got this year, you’d still have to give Brian Smith props for getting through 1996’s Shattered Image, something that even I’d be scared to try.
Sarah Turi‘s version of The Wedding of Green Arrow and Black Canary isn’t just better than the original, but it’s as close to my perfect idea of the recap as you’re likely to find!
And finally, last year’s Defending Champion Tim Curtin puts his title on the line and his considerable crayon skills to the test with his version of the treasury-sized Len Wein/Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez classic, Batman vs. The Incredible Hulk! Never before has the Shaper of Worlds been quite so hilarious, and never before has Bat-Santa brought such joy to the Incredible Hulk.
I know I said it before, but seriously: Everyone did a fantastic job this year, and you should all be proud of yourselves. But sadly, there can be only one champion, and this year, the dubious honor goes to…
That’s right, folks: The 2007 Recap Contest Champion is Tom Foss of the Fortress of Soliloquy, with a version of the Reign of the Supermen that truly had it all: Daleks, Strong Mad, “It’s got a Hemi,” great facial expressions and a painstaking lack of backgrounds that truly captures the spirit of the contest.
Congratulations, Tom! And again, my sincere thanks goes out to everyone for making the contest a success for the second year in a row.
Great Jorb, Readers!
Glad I made an impression, Chris. In retrospect, I should’ve shoved Atom into the grill and thrown in a “You Are Now Freaking Out,” but I didn’t have a reference. So a Hitler with no apparent clothes on looking at a poorly-drawn Atom boot had to do. Surprisingly, I’m actually proud of my Linear Man and Chronos. And the Bangstick. I have to thank Loren for hitting TANS first last year. I don’t think I could’ve pulled off M’Nagalah.
Congrats to Tom Foss. I guess Daleks trump everything. I did laugh at the new Coast City and “Dude, it’s 1993.” And I hope Chris doesn’t wait another year to pit all of our skills against each other, because I’ll be ready for anything.
Between Meltzer’s inspiration and Schrodingers Jason Todd, I may have to argue the best comic did not win.
Between Meltzerâ€™s inspiration and Schrodingers Jason Todd, I may have to argue the best comic did not win.
Run your own contest. Go ahead. We’ll all participate.
YES. That Reign of the Supermen one was awesome. :D (I too loved the hemi. Ha!) Also the stick figures are superb.
I woulda gone for History of the DC Universe as a close second, but that’s just me…
By the way, why DO you hate comic sans so passionately? I’m just curious.
EEk! I spent an hour reading 30 second recaps. How is this possible! Loved the Legion election and Robotface’s OMD recap. Glad to have the ISB back up and running.
All of them were a pile of awesome.
And Mongol’s present to the Cyber-Superman made me laugh quite a bit…
Holy crap, I won? Over Batman/Hulk? Never has “holy god, it’s 2 AM, screw backgrounds” paid off so well. Well, except when it landed Rob Liefeld a gig at Image.
Wow, thanks Mr. Sims (and everyone else). I am humbled. Now I have to figure out how to maintain this level of just-enough-quality next year.
It is an honor just to be honorably mentioned in a field like this. Really good stuff all around.
Mr. Foss, Awesomversarous job! I gladly pass the baton as well as the title which I made up for myself last year. For the next year you should insist that all your friends and relatives call you “The 64-pack (with built-in sharpener) Kid.”
And to the combat-happy ramrod of the ISB, many happy returns!
Congratulations to all, particularly the Honorable Mentions. I thought Sarah Turi’s was particularly awesome. Someone get this lady a blog. Or a webcomic. Or a martini.
For the record, there were five of those wacky Spider-Man PSAs. I have four of them myself.
I also have a crazy Batman PSA where the Joker steals a book from the only library in Canada, so the mounties call Batman. In the end, Batman claims that destroying a book is the most heinous crime the Joker ever committed…so suck it, Barbara Gordon.
and here I was, ready to do my 30-second recap at work tomorrow. Way to end it all too soon, Chris!
Anywho, congrats to our winners and honorable mentions!
Coren, there’s no way mine even compares to Tom’s (or any of the Honorable Mentions for that matter). Thanks anyway!
Congrats Tom Fuss!
And Chris, thank you for the compliment. No Muppets were hurt in the making of my comic.
“People didnâ€™t care because it was Aquaman!”
*slaps Chris with a fish* :p
Everyone did a great “jorb”, this thing’s a total pain on dial-up, but worth the wait.
Wait, so your favorite punchline was the Brad Meltzer gag in the TLH one? I didn’t get that at all…
Personal Fav: Legion of Super Heroes for the win. I think the actual series makes up for it by having everyone resent Supergirl (a lot), but that’s still pretty accurate. Especially the Ultra Boy thing.
Oh, and bravo to MightyGodKing. Highlight: the Revised Body Count from CoIE.
I also couldn’t help but laugh at the millions (and that’s how many there actually were) of “Bucky’s so hot” jokes in the Captain America recap.
…Am I the only person who doesn’t have a blog around here?
Yay! My work’s ‘thrillingly angular’! Awesome!
Those were all awesome, but the right man won. The Coast City panel alone could have won.
everyone’s submissions were great!
Congrats to the winners- I am so impressed by the amount of funny people who read this site!
and in my mind Mephisto only steps out when the stage has a nice layer of flumming dry ice everywhere and “Girls, Girls, Girls” blasting in the background.
good stuff nothing better than comic recaps in crayon. anyway i just wanted to thank you for recommending the video game bully. I got it based on your review (well i read what you had to say about it and then i went to the store and stared at it longingly a couple times but finally i broke down). that game totally rules thanks
There’s a lot of good stuff there. Tim Who Did Planet Hulk’s cracked me up. Tim Who Did Batman/Hulk must have his own slaves class of first graders.
Uhh… the word “slaves” was supposed to have a strike through it. Don’t you all act like you didn’t have a teacher who made your class do his or her chores and hobbies.
Yeah, but, what’s with Josie and the Pussycats???
Happy Anniversary dude. I made you something special.
I have to remember that retro sells. Already, I’m thinking of stuff to try for next time: Kyle Rayner’s rise as Green Lantern (hey, I like Marz), his becoming Ion for the first time (Winick brought the Guardians back as wee Smurf-like beings…that’s gotta count for something, right?), and Priest/Texeria’s run on Black Panther (in light of OMD, we have to remember that Mephisto can be somebody’s bitch, and T’Challa is always Big Daddy). For now, I’d be happy if I got some laughs with my first entry.
YEAH! Thanks, Chris (and thank YOU, Wrye!). It’s a thrill to be an honorable mention in such a competitive field.
Congratulations Tom Foss!
Wait a second…*That’s* what got uploaded to my server? Why, it’s a laughable mess!
I claim the “Tony Stark defense.”
I thank everyone for giving me an incredible amount of entertainment for free. You folks are the best. *sniff*