…is thinking about a puppy with one leg that enters a dance contest to win money to pay for his mother’s medicine and he somehow makes it to the finals but he’s competing against another puppy and this one doesn’t have any legs at all and he’s trying to save his family from getting kicked out of their house but neither one knows that the dance contest is just a scam and the promoter left town with their entry fees already and they’re just dancing their little puppy hearts out.


Batman #493, 1993

47 thoughts on “BATMAN

  1. L’IL BRUDDER!!! You have the heart of a champion!!! Also, First Last, it’s an imaginary promoter Batman thinks about when he has to really psych himself up. The next a-hole who sticks up a liquor store; Batman just unleashes all of that energy right on his dome.

    “I know you’ve got desperate-puppy-dance-promotion scams. Sometimes I lie awake at night, counting them all, just to make myself crazy!”

  2. My God. That was so funny, it was worth clicking away from ESPN 360 coverage of the OSU-USC game just to tell you I’m laughing myself sick. (I just missed a sack on USC, and I’m STILL not sorry. Funny damn stuff.)

  3. Batman has proven himself to be a master of his own mind time and time again. He can disable that imaginary promoter right to hell!

  4. Okay, mister, you’re getting a bill for the sutures I needed to sew up the wrists I slit after reading this.

  5. Seeing as he’s a freaking billionaire maybe he should quit blubbering and help the pups out if he cares that much. Besides, we all know he’s really just thinking about his parents again. Because it always comes back to little Brucey doesn’t it? You make me sick. I’m glad you’re kind of, sort of, not really dead for the moment.

  6. I just re-read those issues like less than a week ago.
    Let me tell you…. The thing about the puppies is preferable to the real culmination of that storyline.

  7. I think this would be one instance where Bruce Wayne could do more good than Batman. At least until he hunts down that crooked promoter.

  8. Part of me is moved, but the cynic in me just thinks that if Batman is anthropomorphizing dancing, legless puppies, it’s just more evidence that he needs a good night sleep.(The picture helps make that case.)

  9. The other dance contest entrants must have been really bloody awful to get beaten by two puppies that have 1 leg between them. Like, how bad at dancing do you have to be to get beaten by a baby dog with no legs that can essentially just writhe around on the floor, wag it’s tail and *possibly* wiggle it’s ears, and if you are that bad – basically worse at dancing that a quadraspazzed baby animal, why would you enter in the first place?

  10. Batman doesn’t know what to do with his life! He feels like he’s at a crossroads, like there’s a Denny’s on one corner, and an IHOP on the other!

  11. Oddly enough, he’s crying for the promoter. You would too, if you knew what Batman was going to do to him. (Don’t mess with puppies in the DC universe!)

  12. I’ve always suspected that there was a side to Batman that had him sitting alone several hours a day in the Batcave, dressed as Batman, crying his little Bat-eyes out.

    And then he rubs his face dry, psyches himself up by looking at a picture of the Joker, then goes out into the night to show no emotion other than “I am the goddamn Batman, and I will throw a car battery at your head, after I’ve kicked you in the face!”

    And then it’s back to the Batcave for another good cry.

  13. ..

    It’s more likely he realized Dandio has him living in a special relationship in a cave with Kamandi.


  14. this is really funny ppl cry over a couple of puppies and if it was a ex con that had the same story ppl would laugh their asses off indeed :D