BIO Week 2008: The Adventure Begins

Now that we’re in that nebulous, post-Valentine’s Day portion of the year, I thought it might be a good idea to check back in on my New Year’s Resolutions and see how I was doing.

Let’s see here…

1. Continue to post more often than Dave Campbell.


1. Knuckle up and get serious about writing some comics.

Check and check.

3. Continue to raise money to realize my dream of starting the world’s first All-Bear Cagefighting League.


4. Lose some weight using the Nintendo Wii and a copy of Tecmo’s “Grizzly Bear Cagefighter”.

Uh, workin’ on it. And finally…

5. Alienate as many of my readers as humanly possible.

Huh. That last one seems a little weird, but hey! A resolution’s a resolution, and there’s no time like the present. So I guess the only thing I can do now is…





No, my friends, your eyes do not deceive you: For the next seven days, the ISB puts its usual content on the shelf for an in depth exploration of the greatest film franchise in the history of cheersploitation! Because seriously, you guys? I love Bring It On, and really, with a movie that includes the line “You know Cheer Crips can’t be rollin’ with no Cheer Bloods” as part of the saga, how could I not?

So with that said…





A Worldwide Web of Cheercitement and Cheerventure!

And the Movie Review You NEVER Expected!


47 thoughts on “BIO Week 2008: The Adventure Begins

  1. My favorite experience with this movie was when we were showing it to a friend for the first time, and after the “do you speak f*g?” line, he narrowed his eyes, slowly turned to us, and said: “Wait a minute… people don’t actually talk like this!”

  2. Okay, so instead of ROM, we get pseudo-teen actresses doing cheerleader things?

    Um, how would comic fans NOT be down with this?

  3. Your opinion, as well as any opinions you have previously held, and any opinions on entertainment you may hold in the future are hereby invalidated.

    You loose.

    Good day, Sir.

  4. Sorry, typo.

    I meant to say “You lose”.

    The fact that you listen to “My Chemical Romance” doesn’t your case much either.

  5. I only hope this means you’ll do other ‘sploitation flicks (like skate-sploitation).

    Roll Bounce is a personal fave, as nothing compares to Sweetness, the Evil King of the Roller-Rink!

  6. if this were anyone but you, Sims… I would be so upset right now. But I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.

    …You know, it IS a pretty funny movie, and this promises lots of pictures of Eliza Dushku…

    Forget what I said. this is a brilliant idea. hey, you could do your Week in Ink reviews in cheer format!

  7. Bring It On is a gloriously cheesy and genuinely funny movie that brings us both Eliza Dushku and Kirsten Dunst at the pinnacle of hotness, throws them in bed together in one scene, and gives us dozens of other cute girls in cheerleader outfits.

    This may be the greatest movie in the history of cinema and I salute you, Lord Sims, for dedicating a week to it. Bravo!

  8. Sims, I have to say, every once and a while I start to think that I know what you are going to do next. I should know better.

    I’m excited.

  9. Hayden Panettiere was in Bring It On (or was it the sequel). That’s how she got to be in Heroes.

  10. As a good friend said, Bring It On is the Citizen Kane of cheerleader movies. Thus it demands the full awesomeness of the Sims to do it justice.

    Remember: ‘Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded.’

  11. Excellent news, Sims! I’ve been waiting patiently for you to offend and horrify your readership for, like, ever. Now that you’ve alienated all your readers, they can come over to my blog and enjoy my post on Batman’s-

    . . . Wait. Wait one minute. You’re going to be posting about a comedy that has Eliza Dushku in a cheerleader outfit. Comics nerds will flock to you in droves! Damn you, Sims! You win even when you try to lose!

    (Oh, and Church? That link was well-played, sir. Well-played, indeed.)

  12. No way! I watched Bring it On 3 this Saturday! Pretty epic movie. Can’t wait to read what you thought of it!

  13. “Heys, you naysayers…this isn’t a demolcracy, it’s a cheerocracy!!”

    To paraphrase Jamie Presley, this is a cheertatorship, not a cheerocracy. Chris makes the cheercisions, and Chris will deal with the cheeronsequences.

  14. Am I the only one here who wants to know why they need a “Collector’s Edition” for Bring it On. I know its an ok movie, but that’s like having a “Collector’s Edition” for The Babysitter’s Club, or Tarot.

  15. Nothing at all wrong with that choice in films, Sims. Everyone, douse the plant in the corner with your Haterade, and pull up a seat in which to be blown away by the awesome.

  16. Since your posts will be funny, i’ll read them this week. But let’s face it, these movies are dreck.

  17. Mad Bomber–Chris is planning to devoting a week to discussing films in which perky teenage girls wear mini-skirts and jump around a lot…and you think that’s gay?

    I think your definition of “gay” might need some fine-tuning…

  18. I saw this movie 3 times when it was in the theater, 2 of which were completely by accident.

    However, I’m very excited.

    My biggest gripe with this movie is the lack of coverage with Gabrielle Union and Blaque. From the previews, I thought we would have received equal time, but we did not.

    Of course, I am incredibly biased…

  19. I saw this movie 3 times when it was in the theater, 2 of which were completely by accident.

    How does that happen? I mean, I’ve sat down in the wrong theater before… but I got up and walked out when i realized it.

  20. Phil–

    You saw that movie “by accident” the same way patients go to the proctologist to get foreign objects out of their anuses that got there “by accident.”

  21. I’m quite stoked about B.I.O. week, but I must ask, sir, is it appropriate to celebrate one of Kirsten Dunst’s greatest roles during The Troubles?

  22. Mad Bomber–Chris is planning to devoting a week to discussing films in which perky teenage girls wear mini-skirts and jump around a lot…and you think that’s gay?

    Dorian, it’s kinda like, you know, trying too hard. I don’t need to explain why Eliza Dushku in a cheerleader outfit is wonderful.

  23. It’s the pathetic trying too hard, really. It’s like friends who always suspected you were gay were coming over, and so you figured that you could put all doubts to rest by going and buying tons of porn beforehand, but you lost your nerve at the pornography store and went to the Wal-Mart instead to get this.

  24. Look, there’s an easy way to settle the question of Chris’s sexuality once and for all:

    Chris, do you want to have sex with dudes?