31 thoughts on “BRUCE WAYNE

  1. Oh, Bruce. Only under the cowl of the Bat can he encounter anything…anything at all…like joy. BECAUSE HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD. And so are his eyes.

  2. “Something something Grant Morrison is so hard to understand, Bruce is sad that he wrote him.”

    Did I steal your joke?

    Did you have a joke to steal?

  3. “Goddammit, why won’t those nerds shut up about Stephanie Brown. I decorate my Cave the way I goddamn want… I could go for some pancakes.”

  4. Bonus Question (10 points)

    The Bruce has just discovered that:

    A) Gotham phencyclidine merchants no longer accept batcredit, as the Batman’s estate is now tied up in probate

    B) Chick-Fil-A is closed on Sundays and crisis days

    C) Grant Morrison has disabled the mobile batphone’s “vibrate” feature

    D) the Top Gun / Rocky III double feature has been censored by the cinema management, and all the best homoerotic training montages have been excised

    E) all of the above, in quick succession

  5. “Alfred. You call these window treatments? Yes, really. Are you trying to humiliate me in front of everyone? No, really – are you?”

  6. He’s schizophrenic, and so Bruce doesn’t get Alfred’s joke Batman was laughing his arse off at a couple of days back.

  7. Good for him, being all serious and shit. He’s got a bit of a playboy reputation, so it’s heartening to see that can sober up and be serious.

  8. His chin is so square,,as I type this Chinese engineers are reconstructing Tiananmen Square. Their competing with us in everything, including squaryness.

    Wayne’s chin is so square, carpenters use it.

    Wayne’s chin is so square, the artist has carpel squarell syndrome after drawing it, one time.

  9. Bruce just found out that the entire Battle for the Cowl run will be written by Tony Daniel as well as drawn. He still painfully remembers The Tenth.

  10. Will-
    Don’t you realize your pre-emptive strike could seriously damage the ISB’s “hip” quotient?

  11. I’m not actually disappointed with Batman R.I.P., I’m just kinda sad. Bruce better be alive and back to wearing the cape & cowl within a year, s’all I’m saying.

  12. Bruce Wayne does not approve of that tie you wore to work today.

    Clear your desk out by five.

  13. Clearly the Bat-Smugness Repellent wasn’t working that day. Is it me or does every male lead in every comic from that period look the smuggest bastard on earth?

  14. That is a man who, in his leisure hours, enjoys crime-fighting and smoking pipes in equal measure.

  15. I can see Bruce sipping on a gin and juice, but not in front of a society crowd.

  16. Danicus,

    Bruce is already back… Final Crisis takes place after RIP, and we’ve already seen Batman in it, and it was already confirmed that it was Bruce as Batman. The death scene at the end of RIP has no point whatsoever.

    Bruce is trying to figure out if the rumors abotu Didio rewriting the end fo Final Crisis are still funny, given the end to RIP.

  17. Even if we assume R.I.P stands for Rest In Peace, that doesn’t nessessarily mean `dead’ it could mean, and this has been my theory all along, that Bruce has finally come to terms with his Batman persona and will start treating his mission like something he wants to do, rather than a desperate need and void he has to fill, and therefor he’ll be able to get a good nights sleep with the clear conscious that he’s doing the right thing for the right reasons.

  18. Bruce has finally come to terms with his Batman persona and will start treating his mission like something he wants to do, rather than a desperate need and void he has to fill

    You mean like he did after Knightfall? And then again in 52?

    (Point being that they do that story almost as often as they retell Superman’s origin, and with equal necessity)