Over at ComicsAlliance, I’ve got a lengthy review of Smallville: Absolute Justice (or SmAbJust, as Laura Hudson and I have taken to calling it), the two-hour Smallville movie where Clark Kent teams up with the heroes of the JSA.
As I make abundantly clear in the article, I’ve never seen a full episode of the show before last Friday, and while they certainly promoted the JSA appearance, I wasn’t too keen on jumping on now. So why the change of heart? An IM from Kevin Church on Thursday that just said “Let’s get drunk and liveblog Smallville tomorrow.”
Which is exactly what we did.
My weapon of choice was rum and coke; Kevin, being a Taxachusetts liberal, went with red wine, and the end result was the brief, bright Twitter hashtag #drunkville, which saw me twittering so often and so drunkenly that my account got locked down for the night with fifteen minutes left in the show. But it had its moments, and for those of you who missed it, here’s a few highlights:
theisb I like that there’s no attempt made to hide the fact that the Cosmic Rod totally just has a light bulb in it. #drunkville
BeaucoupKevin That’s one way to save on a special effects budget. Put your protagonist in a dumpster and have everything occur outside. #drunkville
theisb So wait. There’s a MARTIAN MANHUNTER on Smallville, but no Superman? #drunkville
theisb Bloodstained American Flag Fabric. Smallville, you are SUBTLE AS HELL. #drunkville
BeaucoupKevin Green Arrow’s pretty handsome. #drunkville
theisb “You don’t think Blondie’s our killer, do you?” “No. Debbie Harry’s still in Arkham.” #drunkville
BeaucoupKevin JSA stands for Just Superman Already. #drunkville
BeaucoupKevin I’m sipping my wine. @theisb is chugging liquor. ONE of us is going to make it to the end. #drunkville
theisb .@BeaucoupKevin It’s not #pleasantlybuzzedville, now IS it, Kevin? #drunkville
theisb I was sure–SURE–Clark was going to say: “They weren’t a team. They were a society. A JUSTICE SOCIETY.” #butiwaswrong #drunkville
BeaucoupKevin (I will say that my fondness for the Golden Age Flash uniform made me happy to see the hat. #drunkville)
BeaucoupKevin Meanwhile, at the Daily Planet where Clark Kent operates in his secret identity of Clark Kent… #drunkville
BeaucoupKevin “It’s been a long while since I made someone bleed.” I love hearing Superheroes talk like that. #drunkville
theisb “Okay we can’t have Superman in tights, the public’ll hate it.” “Right. But we can totally have Hawkman though.” “Oh of course” #drunkville
theisb Wait, they actually have SUPER-VILLAINS?! #drunkville
theisb Like, they for real have super-powered criminals, but NO SUPERMAN?! #drunkville
BeaucoupKevin I never thought I’d miss the fight scenes from MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS, but here we are. #drunkville
BeaucoupKevin daaahahahaha hawkman you guys hahahahahaha #drunkville
theisb oh my god martian manhunter is wearing his suspenders backwards to give him the red X on his chest oh my GOD #drunkville
BeaucoupKevin OH MY GOD QUOTING STAR TREK II FOR REAL. #drunkville
BeaucoupKevin oh my god they actually said “a silver age of heroism” #drunkville
theisb Dr. Fate is coming very close to just straight up cutting an Ultimate Warrior promo. #drunkville
There’s more, of course, but since I’m not sure how well even the best of ’em hold up without the show (and the cocktails) to go along with them, I’ll leave it at that. The important part here is to remember one thing:
It is actually my job right now to get drunk and make fun of Smallville. And dudes… that is pretty awesome.