Ask Chris #54: Just Call It “Ask Chris About Batman” Already

 

 

In this week’s Ask Chris, I go over the history and reasons of one of the most important and immutable aspects of Batman: Why he doesn’t kill. Except for all those times he definitely did.

This marks the third week in a row and four times out of the last five columns that I’ve ended up focusing on my favorite character, and at this point, even I’m getting sick of how Chris Sims thinks he’s soooooo smart and knows sooooo much about Batman. Seriously, eff that guy. So next week: No Batman Questions. This is my promise.

Well. Unless I get a really good one.

Ask Chris #53: Batman vs. Harry Potter

 

 

This week in my comics culture Q&A, I settle the question of who would win in a fight between Batman and Harry Potter with my usual tactic of looking at a question that could be answered in one word and then writing an essay about the nature of the hero as a reactionary force. Just how I roll.

As a bonus, here’s a rejected joke that I couldn’t manage to fit in:

Harry’s situation with the Dursleys is basically prison for kids, complete with solitary confinement. If I were Harry, I’d be spending my time in the cupboard under the stairs doing crunches and push-ups until I could break Dudley down to his component pieces.

Well, that’s a lie, obviously. I would’ve shoplifted a Gameboy and caught a bunch of Pokemon. But Batman probably would’ve exercised.

 

7 More Super Dictionary Entries That Need To Be In Comics

 

 

Since you’re reading this on the Internet, I’m going to go ahead and assume that you’re aware that Chris Roberson recently stuck a reference to the famous “Forty Cakes” panel from The Super Dictionary into the pages of Superman. This is, of course, awesome, but more than that, it opens the door for even more bits and pieces from what might just be the weirdest comics publication of all time to make it into mainstream super-hero stories. So today, I’ve written up 7 more Super Dictionary Entries that should be in comics.

And yes, I am available to write El Dragon.

Ask Chris #50: Oh My God Will You Just Shut Up About Batman Already Christopher I Mean REALLY

 

 

This week, my comics culture Q&A hits its landmark 50th issue, which — considering I’ve skipped a couple of weeks here and there — might just make it also the one year anniversary of me answering your questions about Batman. So in celebration of that momentous occasion, I have spent 2500 words answering one of your questions about Batman!

Specifically, this one involves the best “deep cut” Batman stories I could think of that, thanks to books like RIP and Year One, wouldn’t quite make it into the Top Ten. Which means I spent last night re-reading a bunch of really good Batman stories and getting paid for it.

My job, she is a harsh mistress.

The Dubious Romance of 1980’s Super Friends Action Valentines

 

 

Over at Andertoons, Mark Anderson has posted a set of Super Friends Valentines from 1980, and while the vast majority of them are the standard fare, there are a few — like the one above — that send a slightly dubious message.

That’s why over at ComcisAlliance, I’ve run down ten of the most dubious, featuring romantic no-nos from vague threats to actually stabbing someone with a pointy object. Admittedly, that last one might have a longstanding tradition in the world of romance, but I think only the metaphorical version is acceptable.

Road. Warrior. Batman.

 

 

I realize that my relationship with my readers has been… somewhat adversarial at times, but occasionally, one of you guys comes through in a pretty big way. Such is the case with Alert Reader Dave, who discovered unused designs for a 1985 action figure line that recast the Justice League as robots, “hi-tech” anti-heroes, and shameless riffs on Road Warrior.

They are amazing.

So amazing in fact that I’ve got a full rundown of the sadly unproduced figures today at ComicsAlliance, starting with Hi Tech Bunnyrabbit Batman and moving rigihta long to the greatest action figure that was never made. Enjoy, and thanks, Dave!