In case you missed it, here’s what I wrote at ComicsAlliance this week:

The image above comes from a round-up of my favorite Next Issue blurbs from Kirby’s run on Captain America, which are awesome. I’ve heard that some people were complaining that I didn’t credit the letterer, but — and I could be completely wrong about this — I always assumed those were a product of Kirby himself, since they’re consistent across all of his work in the ’70s, from New Gods on to Devil Dinosaur. Of course, as usually happens with this sort of thing, Bully did it years ago.

In other complaint news, I wrote a few jokes about Before Watchmen and other Alan Moore titles DC could stripmine for sequels, and in violation of my usual rule, I totally read the comments. I figured they would be both hilarious and rewarding, and was I ever right about that. My personal favorite was the dude who said he was personally insulted by things I wrote about DC Comics. I can only assume that he is the company itself, having gained sentience in a weird mystic rite designed to protect its employees from Alan Moore’s 9th level Wizard Spells. Either that, or JMS reads my columns. Either way, pretty exciting!

Along the same lines, I wrote some jokes about strange moments in Avengers history to educate fans of the movie. I haven’t looked, but I will bet fifty dollars that someone is upset because I chose my favorite tidbits rather than providing a comprehensive timeline detailing every single bit of history.

Man, I’m complaining about readers a lot today! But not you guys. You guys are super cool.

Anyway, in happier news, I picked up some great mini-comics at Fluke and wrote about the ones I was most excited about. A lot of these people are at Stumptown this weekend, so if you’re in Portland, pick up their stuff!

In this week’s installment of Ask Chris, I break down a bit of Batman’s origin that was better left unexplored in order to pad out an answer that, if I was honest, would’ve just been the words “Iron Fist.” It’s how I roll.

This week’s War Rocket Ajax featured Brian Clevinger, telling us all about Atomic Robo and his ill-fated plans to work with DC. This was a good one. And speaking of Brian, he and I will both be appearing at Ultimate Comics in Chapel Hill, NC next weekend for Free Comic Book Day! Come by and say hello! I will be way less grumpy about comments in person (THIS IS A LIE).

Finally, David Uzumeri was off this week, so Matt Wilson and I teamed up for some writing in addition to our usual podcasting, and the end result was a look back at the 90s Spider-Man cartoon and its “Secret Wars” arc. No joke, you guys: This show was awful.

That’s the major stuff that I’ve done this week, but as always, there are additional pieces at CA that you can find under my byline or by following me on Twitter. Have a great weekend!

It has been a while since I’ve done my usual round of self promotion, mostly because things have not been super great here at ISB Industries. But the work goes on! Here are a few things I’ve written over the past few weeks:

First up, ComicsAlliance’s In-Depth Review of Superman II has expanded into three parts: Part One, Part Two, Part Three. Please join us as I yell about how I hate another movie you loved when you were six.

The Bizarro Back Issues series got a few new entries: the Avengers and the X-Men fight an evil wizard from the days of Conan and everybody dies (spoiler alert!), and, perhaps more importantly, a robot from space gets Superboy laid so that he can start referring to himself as Superman. Seriously.

Ask Chris continues to be a thing I do every week: In #100, I celebrate a milestone by answering one hundred reader questions in one column, and I am never ever doing that again. In #101, I talk about the Riddler for a while. Shocking, I know.

War Rocket Ajax #107 featured Nathan Cosby, joining us to talk about Pigs and Cow Boy.

I saw The Hunger Games and thought it was a lot like The Great Outdoor Fight.

I talked to Gene Yang about the Avatar: the Last Airbender sequel comic.

And finally, I read a lot of Funky Winkerbean and Crankshaft, which not only did not help my mood, it is also starting to mirror my life.

There’s more, too, so if you want the full experience, check out all of my articles at CA. Enjoy!

Thanks to a combination of a nasty WordPress hack, a pulled muscle, playing Draw Something all week and getting swamped at the job, I haven’t updated the ISB in a little while. But I think everything’s squared away now, so here’s what I’ve been up to this week:

In this week’s Ask Chris, I break down my favorite Lois Lane story, the Otto Binder/Kurt Schaffenberger in which she get shot with a laser beam that makes her fat and literally everyone in the story decides to be horrifically mean to her about it. I wish this one didn’t crack me up as much as it does, but man, it is the Always Sunny of Silver Age comics. Plus, I single out my least favorite Lois story, too! It’s not funny at all!

On the subject of weird super-hero yarns, I watched a weird-as-hell episode of Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends. Written by Jem creator Christy Marx, it tells the story of Dr. Doom accidentally granting omnipotence to a weird old creep, who then summons Yog-Sothoth to fight Firestar and Iceman. This is not an exaggeration. I am not creative enough to have made that up.

In other mass media news, David and I continue our review of Superman: The Movie, which some of you have taken issue with. Who knew telling people that thing they loved when they were four years old is actually really terrible would make so many people mad? Hee hee hee.

Speaking of trolling, I wrote about Batman’s current costume and why it sucks, and also managed to find a solution that fixes every problem I had with it! Funny how DC’s actually pursuing this solution on every piece of merchandise they make except the actual comics, though.

In this week’s War Rocket Ajax, Matt and I talk to Princeless writer Jeremy Whitley. We end up talking about our favorite and least favorite Disney princesses, and unlike some co-hosts I could name, Matt does not express a sexual desire for Nala from The Lion King.

Also, this is one of my shorter posts, but Matt Digges and I have been playing Draw Something, and he will only draw Batman. This is not a problem. It is a solution.

I don’t usually link to my short posts here (I do on my Twitter feed), but if you want the Complete Experience, you can always click on my byline on any of those articles and get everything I’ve written. It’s handy!

Enjoy the weekend!

Perhaps you will enjoy them.

In this week’s Ask Chris, I break down my favorite ridiculous plot for World Domination, which of course involves Dr. Doom and Pirate Treasure. Plus, find out what happened to Dave Campebell after I had him killed he stopped blogging about comics!

This month’s FunkyWatch featured impending schadenfreude, puns, and a strip that reminded me of an (actually funny) moment at my father’s funeral. Believe it or not, this did not improve my mood.

For Leap Day, I wrote a retrospective of Batroc the Leaper! If you were reading the ISB back in 2008, you may recognize this is a recurring theme.

Spider-Man Japan Episode 9 brings you the story of a love between a woman and a horrifying giant space beetle monster. It’s the romance of the year, and — gulp — it may be the last one of these we do!

And finally, I reprise my role as ComicsAlliance’s Senior Pornography Critic to review S*** W*** XXX. Sorry, I can’t say the name of the film here — you know I have A Policy. But it’s, you know, that space fantasy movie with the laser swords that people insist on liking. Only this time, with boners!

Look. I’m as surprised as you are that I forgot to do my weekly round of self-promotion. I guess I was just wrapped up in playing Assassin’s Creed for 72 straight hours recovering from another week of hard work hand-crafting content just for you. Yes, you. Here’s what it was:

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Kerry Callen and I imagined the wedding of Betty and Veronica! Kerry’s always fun to work with, but he knocked this one right out of the park — I love their respective dresses, and his passed-out Hiram Lodge is pretty perfect.

Also on the Valentine’s tip, I finished up fourteen days of dubious romance comics. Nice to hear people enjoyed these.

I reviewed 2009’s 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand in one of the most sterling examples of me writing about things that nobody cares about except me, but let’s face it: This review was a foregone conclusion from the moment I bought the game. It was just a question of whether it would end up here, on CA, or whether I’d have to register DJWhooKidIsTheNewGarrus.com.

I reviewed Kevin Smith’s Comic Book Men, a show that I did not enjoy. As a bonus, please enjoy the comments about how I’m biased and that’s just my opinion from people that aren’t quite clear on how the concept of a review works. I’m sure they’re in there.

In this week’s Ask Chris, I break down ten issues of the Punisher to see if they are collectively worth at least 80 cents. One more time, just so we’re clear on this: These are actual questions I get from readers.

Sounds like a breakfast restaurant specializing in tasty sausages, doesn’t it? Either way, I wanted my Skyrim review to have a chance here on the main page before it got pushed down by all this, but now, this week’s things I wrote elsewhere:

In this week’s Ask Chris Valentine’s Day Special, I break down a truly insane plan for conning women into bed, as posited by supreme douchebag Mystery, and see how it would fare in Gotham City.

Also on the romance tip, remember those Valentines you used to exchange back in elementary school? I’ve reviewed this year’s crop to show you which store-bought Valentines are the best at expressing your love — and surprising everyone, the Batman ones are totally awful.

Hey, remember that time Superman almost made a porno movie with Big Barda? Because I do. And I have written some jokes about it, perfect for your Valentine’s weekend reading enjoyment.

Moving away from Romance, I interviewed Order of the Stick‘s Rich Burlew about his monumental success raising over half a million dollars to reprint his webcomics. Nice fellow, great comic, well worth it.

And finally, back on Monday, Japanese Spider-Man battled against a cat demon monster named Cat Demon Monster. It’s pretty awesome.

Plus, I’ve been doing a daily series on truly insane romance comics that’s running until the 14th. This week’s entries involved the heartbreak of glasses, a girl falling in love with her dentist, a man who can’t pronounce “menu,” and the 100% factual story of how English Majors are way more sexually desirable than what we call “normals.”

Enjoy!