With only 22 days left ’til Christmas, some of the more sharp-eyed ISB readers might’ve noticed that I’ve been a little lighter than usual in terms of holiday content, and I have to admit, I’m just not feeling it yet this year.
Maybe it’s just because I don’t have the tree up yet–marking the latest I’ve put it up for as far back as I can remember–but while I’ve been faithfully popping open my Advent Calendar and rocking my favorite Christmas Album, but for some reason, the ol’ zing just isn’t there, and I feel like I could use something to kickstart the holidays.
I guess what I’m saying here is… I need a little Christmas.
Ah. That’ll do just fine.
Oh, relax! He’s not talking about the real Santa Claus! But I imagine that’s going to require a little bit of explanation.
It all goes down in the pages of Scott Gray and Roger Langridge’s “How Fin Fang Foom Saved Christmas,” from the 2007 Marvel Holiday Special, conveniently reprinted in the Marvel Holiday Digest. Its no secret that I’m a fan of Christmas comics in general–aside from Abe Lincoln covers, they’re one of the few things I go out of my way to collect–but for the past few years, Marvel’s been doing an amazing job with theirs. Heck, 2005’s even includes Jeff Parker’s Santron story, which edges out even the Deadman bit from Christmas With the Super-Heroes #2 as my favorite holiday comic of all time.
Gray and Langridge, however, do one that’s a little less moving and a little more silly, and it’s totally awesome.
As you might have already gathered from the title and the panel above, it’s a story about how Fin Fang Foom saves Christmas by blowing up Santa Claus…
…but as for why Triple-F is walking around on Christmas Eve in one of Ben Grimm’s overcoat-and-fedora “disguises,” the world may never know. Still, who are we to fathom the motivations of an ancient dragon alien who wears little purple pants and fights Iron Man?
What matters is that he ends up running into Dr. Strange’s live-in manservant and kung fu teacher, Wong, during a Christmas parade, which means that team-up rules are now officially in effect and the probability of an attack by HYDRA has now risen to roughly 97%.
Okay, look: I know not everyone’s as big a fan of Christmas as I am, but come on. A giant green HYDRA Claus robot rampaging around with a running crew of “elves” with laser guns?
That is at least eight kinds of awesome.
Hey, that’s another one of my favorites!
Anyway, as awesome as a giant green Santa robot is, it’s not so awesome that a good ol’ fashioned team-up can’t take it out, and while Fin Fang Foom is a little reluctant to aid the puny humans at first, he eventually learns a little something about the true meaning of Christmas.
Because you see, children, Christmas isn’t about presents, or songs, or even robots. Christmas is about something more. Something deeper. Something… true.
Christmas… is about karate.
And that’s real.