You know, I’d assumed that with the two month gap between the first and second issues of the series, Laurenn J. Framingham’s Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter: The Laughing Corpse: Book Two: Necromancer was going to be a bimonthly title. And yet, here we are with a new issue, a mere five weeks later. And it feels like only seconds.
But in any case, it’s out, and it once again falls to the ISB Research Department to do our scholarly duty by illuminating the many, many questions that the series raises (chief among them why it’s still getting published). However, at this point, I’m not doing it so much as a work of literary criticism as I am to further the cause of science, because if they can figure out how to actually make less happen in this comic, I’m pretty sure reading it will send you back in time.
So strap on a pair of goggles, do your part for SCIENCE!, grab a copy of your own and follow along!
0.0: The cover to this issue not only features a well-known landmark, St. Louis’s historic Hotel Necromancer…
…but has also introduced my new favorite supporting character:
The Hooker Who Regrets The Life Choices That Have Led Her To Be On the Cover of an Anita Blake Comic Book.
1.1: You know, far be it from your humble annotator to criticize, but when you’re trying to establish that your lead character is a badass without actually having any… whaddayacallem… oh yeah, events in your novel, you might want to shy away from first-person narration about how physically weak she is when compared to other characters, especially in scenes where she looks like a card-carrying member of the Lollipop Guild.
1.2: Despite what you may have heard about how every scene in a well-written work should reveal character or advance the plot, I assure you that this…
…is completely necessary.
2.5: Prepare for trouble… and make it do–oh my God are you for real?!
So let me get this straight. You’re telling me that not only were eight pages of this guy in the last issue not enough, but the entire function of Charlie was to show up and announce that he had obligations that were more important than the actual plot (which, at this point, is just about anything) so that Anita would have to go back in and have another five-page conversation that’ll be followed by six pages of riding in a car?!
Guys… I’m starting to suspect that this thing might not be very good.
3.3: I’m not sure what this has to do with questioning prostitutes, but…
…Anita is clearly asking for Backup, the recent Dresden Files novella by Jim Butcher, with a cover by Hellboy creator Mike Mignola. One assumes that Anita has finally decided to see what it’s like when an occult investigator actually does stuff and has entertaining adventures, which would seem to be a step in the right direction.
6.4: Just a reminder, folks:
Given that this is a comic book, and the readers are perfectly capable of seeing Jean-Claude’s eyes and determining what he looks like ourselves–I’m going to go ahead and go with “an extremely pallid Criss Angel“–then the only reason this caption was included is because someone thought it was so good that the story would suffer without it.
7.2: Jean-Claude mentions here that he can “feel the street”–seriously, he says that–but Framingham leaves it unclear as to whether or not he can also feel it comin’ in the air tonight, oh lord. What we do know, however, is that a drum solo certainly would’ve livened up the six-page drive through Downtown St. Louis.
10.4: As a novel, The Laughing Corpse was originally released in 1994, which has led your humble annotator to believe that certain dialogue, like Anita’s line in this panel…
…could do with a bit of sprucing up:
11.4: Pffftahahahahaa!
Yeah, Anita, I don’t think that’s going to be much of a problem.
11.1: Anita, if you’ll remember, brought Jean-Claude along to the Red-Light District in the hopes that his intimidating presence would keep her from being harassed by the rabble. Jean-Claude, if you’ll recall, is wearing a frilly poet shirt open to the waist and a pair of thigh-high leather boots.
This is not, it would seem, a very menacing look. I mean, I think I could take that guy out, and in case you missed it, I’m a comics blogger. We’re not a very threatening bunch.
15.4: Okay, I’ve got to admit: This panel got a genuine, non-ironic chuckle out of me.
The prostitute in question is, of course, Wheelchair Wanda, the former girlfriend of The Big Lebowski Harold Gaynor that Anita’s been looking for for about eight issues now, for reasons that–as someone who has read every page of this series multiple times–I’m still not quite clear on.
16.2: Yeah, about this.
Don’t hold your breath, sweetheart.