Category Archives: Worst Thing Ever

Movie Fighters Episode 3: The King of Fighters

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Three episodes in, and this one almost broke us.

The King of Fighters is one of the all-time worst movies we have ever watched, so if you enjoy listening to two guys getting unexpectedly mad about half an hour into a podcast, this is the one for you. Over the course of the show, we share memories of dropping quarters into Neo Geo machines at Pizza Inn, the lasting appeal of Mai Shiranui, and why Ray Park should maybe never have a speaking role in a film. Sorry, Ray. Plus, we try to sort out just what the hell is happening in this movie and why, and (spoiler warning) we fail pretty miserably.

You can grab this episode (and our first two, where we tackle Double Dragon and Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li) right now for only $1 each! That’s almost 90 minutes of comedy (or at least our suffering) for a buck! Pick it up and let us know what you think!

The Justin Bieber Comic Is Unsurprisingly Wretched

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I don’t know what I did to Laura Hudson that she feels compelled to make me suffer quite as much as she does, but today I have been sentenced to review Bluewater’s typically shoddy biography of Justin Bieber, which is somehow even worse than I expected. It’s actually really fascinating to see them spiral further into new realms of horrible, but you don’t have to suffer yourself. I’ve done it for you!

Smallvillains 10×12: Collateral

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Finally, after almost two solid months of reruns, Smallville returned with a new episode this week, and it is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.

Seriously, Uzi and I have tried to be pretty even-handed with this show, but it didn’t take any time at all for our discussion of this televised atrocity to descend into an all-out hatefest. So please, enjoy it as we try to figure out just what the hell happened here. Why was Lois in the virtual computer Matrix simulation Tron world with the super-heroes? Why did Chloe wear a weird white pantsuit? Why did they have Clark fly using stupid video game cheat code logic, rather than just having Superman fly? We have no answers. Just jokes.

The 15 Worst Comments on Yahoo’s Batman Article

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Despite the fact that Google alerts set up for “Batman” and “the stupidest things people have ever written,” it took Mike Sterling to hip me to the fact that Yahoo News had run an article on a guy selling a copy of Batman #1… complete with open comments.

The results, of course, are truly magical, and today, I’ve collected the 15 worst comments about how comics are stupid, Golden Age comics are totally everywhere, and how we should have elected Batman instead of our socialist president.

Just another day on the Internet.

Twilight: The Graphic Novel

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Today at ComicsAlliance, I’ve been given the task of reviewing the brand-new Twilight GN that just hit shelves yesterday, and while it shouldn’t be a surprise that I was mad enough about it to go on for 1100 words, it’s probably not about what you’d expect.

There’s no amount of art, no matter how pretty–and Young Kim’s art is beautiful–that could turn Twilight into a good story, and I wasn’t expecting it to. But what I got… well, the problem can be summed up in four words:

Times New Fucking Roman.

The Chris vs. Twilight Drinking Game

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Those of you who follow me on Twitter have seen me liveblogging a reading of Twilight (which I wrapped up this week, just in time for–sigh–the new issue of Anita Blake), and while it certainly drove me to drink, that’s not necessarily a bad thing! Sure, it’s not like anyone actually needs an excuse to down a bottle of fine Irish whiskey today, but on the off chance that you want to stay pop-culturally aware, I’ve provided the necessary incentive you’ll need to get through the book with my Twilight Drinking Game!

Enjoy! Or, as is probably more apt in this case, tolerate!

The Stephenie Meyer Bio Comic Is Actually Worse Than Twilight

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When you’re doing a biography of Stephenie Meyer, you’re going to run into a problem right off the bat, namely the fact that Stephanie Meyer is really f–king boring.

Really, we’re not even trying to dis Meyer here, but the fact of the matter is that she just hasn’t done a whole lot. She never sailed down the Mississippi like Mark Twain, she never married a complete lunatic like F. Scott Fitzgerald did, heck, she never even did a ton of coke and got run over by a van like Stephen King. We can sum up her entire life in twenty words. Watch:

“Stephenie Meyer grew up in the Southwest, got married, had kids, wrote some books about vampires and got rich. Batman.”

We threw “Batman” in there to make it more exciting.

Full review at ComicsAlliance.