Sweet Christmas, is it that time again already?!
Yes, the inexorable march of time continues, and with the dawn of this most patriotic of all months, there’s an entirely new Previews catalog for your ordering pleasure!
Yeah yeah, you all know the drill by now: Tonight, the major publishers go under the theoretical magnifying glass of the ISB as I attempt to inform your purchases by making fun of things three months before they come out! Let’s get to it!
Dark Horse Comics
P.22 – The Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite #1: I already covered this one in last month’s CVP when it was solicited the first time–which, when you get right down to it, is a little disconcerting–but even putting everything I said last month aside, this thing really does look like a lot of fun. I mean, come on:
A team of super-powered schoolchildren fighting Zombie Robot Gustave Eiffel? I honestly don’t care what happens in the rest of the book at this point, because that is awesome.
P.34 – Lobster Johnson: The Iron Prometheus #1: It’s recently come to my attention that when I did my list of 50 Things I Love About Comics last week, I left out #10, a mistake that I’d like to rectify right here:
10. Lobster Johnson, pictured here with Janos Prohaska and our sixteenth president:
P.74 – Countdown Presents The Search For Ray Palmer: Wildstorm #1: Earlier today, Sugarbear’s Pal Dorian pointed out an interview on Newsarama where the much-beleaguered Ron Marz promoted this series, saying (with emphasis added): “Certainly the Wildstorm Universe is not a mirror image of the DC universe. As far as we know, there are no analogous versions of Midnighter or Apollo.”
Really, Ron? Really? You can’t think of anybody those two might be analogs for? Anyone? Anyone at all? Really?
P. 74 – Supergirl #21: With the news that Tony Bedard and Renato Guedes were the new team for Supergirl for the next few issues–marking the first time that book’s had somebody that I thought had any idea what the heck was going on with it–I’ve been interested in seeing what was going to happen with the title. And as it turns out, “what happens” appears to be…
…Supergirl hitting Karate Kid with a car engine. So yeah: Buyin’ it.
P. 76-77: The Black Canary Wedding Planner/JLA Wedding Special #1: I’ll be honest with you, guys: I have little to no interest in Black Canary and Green Arrow getting married. That said, I’m actually really looking forward to these, thanks to the presence of Degrassi’s J. Torres and new JLA writer (and ISB favorite) Dwayne McDuffie, who very, very rarely disappoint. Sadly, the same cannot be said for…
P.78 – The Green Arrow/Black Canary Wedding Special #1: …Judd Winick, who pretty much disappoints every time he opens up a word processor. Thus, I plan to avoid this one pretty studiously, and the same goes for the upcoming ongoing series, even though it features the absolutely beautiful art of Cliff Chiang. As for the wedding itself, the usual suspects are already debating over whether Black Canary getting married is a crime against the Sisterhood or not, and since I’m always right, I thought that I’d take this opportunity to settle things once and for all:
Black Canary getting married is not misogynistic.
Black Canary having sex with Green Arrow in a filthy dumpster after he cheated on her, however, was pretty damn Ludacris.
P.80 – Infinity, Inc. #1: Oh man! Pete Milligan writing a book about young super-heroes who have more power and fame than they can handle, dealing with the problems that accompany life in the public eye and the constant pressure of having to save the world? That sounds gr–HEY WAIT A MINUTE!
P.81 – Suicide Squad: Raise the Flag #1: One of the biggest problems I have with writing these little chats we have every month is that a lot of the stuff I want to talk about is stuff that I’m actually honest-to-God excited about, and don’t really have jokes for. So, pardon me for a minute while I indulge in a little pure boosterism: I may just be misremembering here, but I’m pretty sure that when Dan DiDio announced this thing at HeroesCon, the news was met with a standing ovation, a guitar solo, and an eagle soaring int o perch majestically on his outstretched arm. And with good reason: Suicide Squad is, without question, right up there with Alan Moore’s Swamp Thing and Walt Simonson’s Thor as one of the best comics of the ’80s–and it’s still not out in trade, by the way–so this one’s gota lot of promise. Sure, John Ostrander’s gotten older, and he’s recently turned in some pretty awful stuff in the form of the “Grotesk” fill-in on Batman and his issue of World War III, but that guy has sixty damn near perfect issues the Squad to balance things out, and even though I can’t stop thinking that maybe it’s time for a guy like Greg Rucka to take things over (which he’s pretty much done in Checkmate), I know he’s got it in him to do some wonderful things with the characters. Here’s hoping!
P.97 – JLA/Hitman #1: I’ll probably be writing this exact sentence again when the book actually comes out, but to me, Hitman eclipses even Welcome Back Frank as Garth Ennis’s finest work. Not to get too into it, but I feel like Ennis relies on ultraviolent shock value and profanity–both things that I certainly enjoy–way too much, so when those easy outs were taken away by Hitman’s very nature as a DC Universe comic, he did some of his absolute best character work with Tommy Monaghan and his great supporting cast. Which, really, is just a longwinded way of saying that there’s a good chance that this’ll be seriously awesome.
P. 110 – Presents v.1: Man, I’ve been getting way too much sleep lately. Anybody got something that’s guaranteed to give me some truly horrific nightmares?
Ah! Thanks, CMX!
P. 146 – The Mice Templar #1: When I first heard about Mice Templar, I–like a lot of people, I imagine–immediately assumed that it was a completely shameless attempt to capitalize on the success of last year’s awesome Mouse Guard by David Petersen, and I’ve got to say that I was pretty surprised. I’ve met Mike Oeming at conventions a couple of times, and while that’s really no good way to gauge someone’s morality, he was certainly a lot friendlier than I expect from most seedy con-men. Needless to say, I was really glad when the whole thing turned out to be–according to all involved parties–a big misunderstanding that turned into Petersen and Oeming saying very nice things about each other in various interviews.
The other upside to that is that now I feel like I can actually look at it without the looming spectre of guilt, and I’ve got to say, it looks nice. I’ve always been a fan of Oeming’s art, and if nothing else, the work he’s doing here is very pretty, and looks to be well worth checking out.
P. 154 – Suburban Glamour #1: At this point, you guys all know my feelings about Phonogram, so anything I say about artist Jamie McKelvie’s new series would be suspect at best. So, in an effort to help you guys make your own purchasing decisions for once, I’d just like to point out these two panels from the ad:
That man draws pretty pictures, and that’s a fact, Jack.
P.10 – Amazing Spider-Man #544: As should be painfullly obvious by this point, there’s really nothing I’d like more than to write comics professionally one day. Sadly, my actual “talent” for loud, mildly obnoxious criticism means that I routinely and invariably shoot myself in the foot in these efforts with smartass remarks about the people who actually are making the comics. Case in point: This cover by Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada:
That can’t be the final version, right? I mean, even putting aside the art itself, the lettering is horrible, and it all combines into one of the worst laid-out covers I’ve seen in… well, ever. Now about that Woodgod proposal I’ve got…
P. 55 – New Avengers/Transformers #3: I’ve given my share of grief to this book and its erstwhile readers in the past–mostly based on the fact that it could only be more ridiculous if Snake Eyes and Cheetara showed up to help fight Baron Zemo or whatever–but allow me, if I may, to blow your mind for a second:
Why is this book not about The Marvel Megamorphs?
Transforming Robots teaming up with Marvel Super-Heroes? Stupid.
Transforming Robots teaming up with Marvel Super-Heroes That Are Themselves Also Transforming Robots? GENIUS!
P.61 – The Order #3: From the solicitation copy:
“They’re half zombie! Half hobo! ALL TERROR! The ZOBOS run roughshod on Rodeo drive! Celebutantes and debutards beware–botox is like ketchup to these flesh-eating, homeless weirdos, and they find your waxed and tanned skin DELICIOUS!”
True Fact #1: This is not the first time the Champions have fought super-strong hobo monsters.
True Fact #2: That is awesome.
And that–with the exception of an issue of Wolverine where he duct-tapes some swords to his hands (no, really) and Essential Punisher v.2, which I’ll be buying despite the fact that I already own everything it reprints, takes care of the majors. But don’t put down that order form just yet! Tomorrow night, it’s the small press and the merch, with a harrowing journey through the land of terror that is the apparel section!
If you miss it, your friends will hate you!