You guys have probably figured this out by now, but I’m hardly theonly guy who blogs his way through Previews every month, and while the fact that I’m lazy means that I get to it a little later than everyone else (except, you know, Kevin Church, who stumbles in half drunk somewhere around the 20th every month), there are occasionally jokes that I don’t get to before someone else does them.
This month, though, I took steps to fix that, by trading my rights to the t-shirt section for page 501, which includes this gem:
Allow me to put on my Nerd Hat here for a minute just to say that that is an extremely inaccurate Batgirl costume. And yes, I realize that this is not really the point, but when you’re dealing with the kind of people who are going to be impressed by a sexy Batgirl costume that you buy through fucking Previews, this is the thought that’s going to go through their head. I mean really, at this point you should just be dressing up as A Sexy Girl. I assure you, we won’t mind.
And there are three more where that came from.
But they’re gonna have to wait their turn, as tonight, the ISB gets through the back half of this month’s Previews, starting with the indies and slugging its way all the way through to the merch!
Comics
P. 186 – Al Jaffee’s Tall Tales: I’m the sort of guy whose love of MAD Magazine is at the point where I’ll happily drop a hundred and fifty bucks on a slipcased hardcover of Don Martin strips
Like a lot of people, my love of creators like Al Jaffee comes exclusively from MAD, where he’s been an incredible innovator, and getting the chance to see stuff that he’s done that I’ve never seen before–especially when it’s a concept as nifty as a book of vertically oriented newspaper strips with an introduction by Stephen Colbert–is pretty thrilling.
P. 188 – Manga Shakespeare: Macbeth: Back before I dropped out of college to spend more time thinking about Cobra Commander, I was studying for a degree in English Literature, and Macbeth was always my favorite Shakespeare play. This probably doesn’t come as a surprise to anybody, since it’s not only the shortest of the great tragedies, but since it opens with witches, closes with a duel atop a castle’s battlements and features liberal helpings of murder, hallucinations and revenge in between, it’s pretty much the action movie of the 17th Century. That said…
…I totally missed the part where he’s a bare-chested samurai with a katana in each hand in a post-apocalyptic Tokyo. Dr. K has a lot to answer for.
P. 190 – Jesus Hates Zombies: Okay, let’s get one thing straight here: Zombies are played. They’re over. They’re done. We do not need to see them anymore, my annual Halloween viewing of the video for “Thriller” notwithstanding. And even more played out than the undead is the comic book where Jesus fights the undead, especially after Loaded Bible, which was really just Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
That said, this looks… Well, it looks pretty awesome. Yeah, it’s Jesus fighting zombies, but Jesus fighting zombies with Lazarus as his zombie sidekick alongside a time traveling Abraham Lincoln who fights werewolves? That’s the story I wanted to read so badly that I made it the plot of the third Solomon Stone novel! So yeah, I’m getting it. At best, it’ll be as good as a story like that has the potential to be, and at worst, it’s another one for the Lincoln Covers Collection.
P. 217 – Vincent Price Presents #1: I’m not sure if Vincent Price is really the draw that he was at the time of, say, The Thirteen Ghosts of Scooby Doo, but I will say this: If this comic came with one of those sound-chip things that they have in greeting cards now so that every time you opened it, you heard the guy who played him on that episode of Yacht Rock say “It is I, Vincent Price, the ac-tor!”, they would sell at least one more copy.
P. 268 – The Monthly Parade of DMP Yaoi:
Yeah, I’m pretty sure that love attacks of any kind are profoundly illegal.
P. 314 – Crogan’s Vengeance: I’ve mentioned it before, but I got a chance to meet Chris Schweizer and see a little bit of Crogan’s Vengeance at HeroesCon, and I’ve got to say, it’s been a long time since I’ve been this excited about a brand new comic book. And with good reason: Not only does Oni have a pretty good track record when it comes to historical adventure books–what with Scott Chantler’s extremely entertaining Northwest Passage
For those of you who don’t know the deal, Crogan’s Vengeance is the first in a series of sixteen graphic novels that will each focus on one member of the Crogan Family throughout history. First up is “Catfoot” Crogan, a reluctant pirate, but Schweizer has the Family Tree he’s working from up on his blog, and considering that it includes a gunfighter, a private eye and ninja, he’s already got the seeds of some great adventure stories. Add to that the fact that Oni’s going for a presentation that’s along the lines of a classic adventure novel, and it looks like something that’s just awesome in every way.
There’s more information at Schweizer’s website, as well as a link to a 26-page preview that confirms my best hopes for the series. Give it a read.
P. 359 – The Drifting Classroom v.1: Take note: This is not actually a prequel manga that functions as a sort of Muppet Babies version of The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.
And I got my hopes up so high.
P. 430 – Shaw Brothers Series 1 7-Inch Action Figures: I do not need these.
I mean, sure, I wasn’t even this tempted to break my embargo on Non-Joe toys with last month’s Lemmy Kilmister figure, but I do not need these. Not even if they have Hai Tao from The Kid With The Golden Arm
No. I do not need these.
Even if they would look awesome next to Yotsuba.
P. 501 – Secret Wishes Costumes: And thus, we are brought back full circle, and while the costumes on this page pretty much speak for themselves–and they’re the same ones you can find just about anywhere that sells Halloween costumes–I think there’s an important lesson we can take away from this: If you’re going to dress up as a Sexy Super-heroine for Halloween, then remember that the sexiest detail is accuracy.
Well, accuracy and fishnet stockings. There’s a reason two members of the Justice League wear ’em, folks.
Still, there is one other costume here that I think is worth mentioning, and that is V:
Not for the costume itself, but for the way the model’s holding his knives, which makes it look like he’s saying “Yeeeeeeah, Boyeeee! V’s in the house!”
And that’s it. As always, if anything caught your eye this month, feel free to mention it in the comments section. As for me, I’m heading to sleep, because really: once you’ve gotten to The Man From Room V quoting Flavor Flav, where else can you go?
DO NOT DISRESPECT VINCENT PRICE IN MY PRESENCE!!!
Still, Jesus reserved his harshest words for werewolves.
Just checked out the preview for Crogan’s Vengeance.
Yeah, that’s going on my to-buy list. Quality stuff.
I just want a Guy Fawkes mask for my wall.
At what point did a comic company actually think, “What will sell our horror anthology comic? Vincent Price will, let’s contact his estate.” The sad truth, however, is that nothing will sell your horror anthology comic. Not William Castle, not Vincent Price, not Elvira, not even Cain & Abel, not even Ron Jeremy in a Clown Suit, nothing will sell your horror anthology comic.
This is in and of itself quite bleak and scary. Wonder where those “I, Vampire” issues are anyway . . .
If the greeting card said “Smeuuuth MYOOOSIC!” I know of at least five copies sold.
I’d also know at least two wives who could legitimately plead insanity at their second-degree murder trials a few years down the road.
Chris – you see both Alexander Fu Sheng AND Gordon Liu action figures and you say no to them?
Why wasn’t I invited to the funeral when your sense of awesomeness died?
Come on, you know you want them.
If they bring out a figure of Lar Kar Leung from Mad Monkey Kung Fu, just being in its presence will grant divinity, omniscience and the ability to 4 strike palm trees at will.
I’m here to say:
That V costume is going to get someone killed.
That Batgirl costume is going to get someone raped.
That MacBeth comic is going to get someone slapped.
Two of those things would be funny, and it wouldn’t be the Batgirl one.
Also, Vincent Price himself approves of the stories in his comic. That’s hardcore.
I heard that Akira Kurasawa was originally going to set Throne of Blood in a post-apocalyptic Tokyo but then he recovered from his concussion.
I sort of want the V costume so I can rework it into a Solomon Kane outfit. I’m guessing I could find a pilgrim costume pretty easily to do that with too though. Also, it looks like he’s wearing orthopedic boots.
V actually seems to be lowlighting his junk.
Shaw Brothers figures and NO WANG LUNG WEI?!?
I mean, those guys are gonna need someone to fight. . .
Where’s the Boxer From Shangtung figure? It should have an axe jutting out of its chest.
Drifting Classroom’s getting a US release?
Oh what I wouldn’t give to seeing an uptight parent’s reaction to seeing that on their kid’s bookshelf.
Drifting Classroom’s getting a US release?
Gotten, actually. The ad in question’s for a resolicit of the first ten volumes.
MacBeth is also my favorite Shakespearean play, which gives me a morbid curiosity about the manga . . . not morbid enough to actually spend money on it mind you, but still pretty morbid.
Oh, and thanks to your off-hand comment and link I’ve spent most of my morning watching “Yacht Rock,” which up until now I had no idea existed. I must now go and share episode #11 with my Parrot-Headed friends. “They’re not people; they’re Jimmy Buffett fans.” Greatness.
I just want a Guy Fawkes mask for my wall.
Why?
That Batgirl costume is going to get someone raped.
No, rapists get people raped.
Shaw Brothers Series 1 7-Inch Action Figures
Aw, cripes, I suppose an Inframan action figure would be just too fucking much to expect.
With Thunderbolt Fists, yet.
I think the Thunderbolt Fists come with the RAH Inframan that will never exist.
I always did feel Macbeth was tragically lacking in tentacles.
Something’s rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet is taking out the trash.
Is the second use of the V costume going up to Northampton and bugging the shit out of Alan Moore?
“Look at me Alan, where’s my symbolism gone?” and then rattle your knives.
I love that picture of the V costume. Not only is it out of place with all the sexy lady costumes, he’s pointing two sais directly at his junk.
“Remember, Remember…my dick.”
You’d think they’d pick a less depressing Fu Sheng character for his first action figure. “And here he is in his last role which he never completed before he died.”
Here are some of the other Shaw action figures:
http://toysrevil.blogspot.com/2008/04/seennycc2008-shaw-brothers-action.html
I for one would buy a Crippled Avengers/Mortal Combat Sun Chien figure if it came with removable boots so that we can see his metal legs.
I dunno, I guess you have to be wearing your Nerd Hat to care about accuracy if your girl shows up in that Batgirl costume. And two years ago, mine did. OK, so I bought it for her. It worked.
Oh and you should totally get the Nerd Hat patented and manufactured stat.
My friend Keith points out that the most intriguing part of Jesus Hates Zombies is the “hate”. I mean, Jesus is supposed to love EVERYONE and EVERYTHING, so to find something that he hates? Well, shit! I’ve got to get me a ticket to that rodeo!
The song says Jesus loves the little children, all the little children of the world. Red or yellow, black or white.
The song doesn’t mention grey, tho.
I gotta say, I was a tad disappointed with the Jesus Hates Zombies anthology. Some of the art didn’t resonate with me too well. I think many of the artists need more practice in before doing pro work.
If I may take a different nerd tangent for a second, apparently the idea for the Ents ripping apart Orthanc in Two Towers came from Tolkien watching MacBeth as a teenanger and being disapointed with the payoff from the `when the forest comes to… whatever the castle in MacBeth is called’ line. I dont want to spoil it for anyone who hasnt seen the play, but the trees dont come alive a tear the shit up. Same goes for the no man shall kill Sauron bit.
Also, there are much sexier Batgirl costumns out there.
And I thought Jesus WAS a zombie. I guess I should have paid more attention in Church.
Oh, and thanks to your off-hand comment and link I’ve spent most of my morning watching “Yacht Rock,†which up until now I had no idea existed. — Cap’n Neurotic
Ditto.
I am in your debt, Mr. Sims.
An unwritten-as-of-yet Elseworld’s Batgirl?
Jesus Hates Zombies looks completely awesome, despite all logic. I’m completely pimping this out at the store. And I know there’s got to be a few ‘take this cross and SHOVE IT’ jokes.
I like that fact you have a Nerd Hat and take the time to put it on before discussing things like that Batgirl picture.
Your professionalism is an example to us all.
Two words: Black Jack.
Outlaw surgeon!
Pft, sexy Batgirl. No challenge.
At least, judging nerdily by the mask, its not sexy Mute Child-Abused Asian Fetish Underage Batgirl, though, and that’s something to be grateful for, I guess.
Now, sexy Dr. Medusa of the Creature Commandos, there is no force in the universe that would stop me from buying *that* bit of loveliness.
Well, if there’s ever a Batgirl movie, Sean Young will have a costume to wear while lobbying for the role.
The art for Manga Shakespeare makes me think that their next project will be ‘Richard II: Electric Boogaloo’.
To Dave Lartigue,
I honestly don’t know why I want a Guy Fawkes mask on my wall. I have a lot of ‘classic’ style masks on the wall right now… Kabuki masks and the like, I think adding that one would look neat. nothing funny or spectacular behind my reasoning. (well, not funny ha-ha)
Thanks for the “Jesus Hates Zombies” love, brother! Much appreciated. And to the guy that was disappointed with the JHZ Anthology – my apologies! We were all a bunch of amateurs making that book together. None of us were pros, so there’s different levels of talent in there. But trust me, this new book (series of books) KICKS ASS! Jesus, Lincoln, Zombies, Werewolves, Rogue Angels… there’s ton of fun stuff going on!
~ Stephen (creaot of Jesus Hates Zombies)
You’re all missing the point! In the alternate universe where Halle Berry’s Catwoman movie was a huge, massive runaway hit, they made a sequel where she teamed up with Batgirl… who wore that costume.
Mark 14:12 you say? I had no idea that
“And the first day of unleavened bread, when they killed the passover, his disciples said unto him, Where wilt thou that we go and prepare that thou mayest eat the passover?” was about Jesus hating zombies. Truly, Chris, you are the biblical scholar of our time.
It’s amazing